Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being treated like her unpaid skivvy! AIBU?

266 replies

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 20:55

Apologies this is so long....Ok so quick bit of back story. I live overseas and relocated last summer. I had to live in my new home country for 6 months before I could work, and then apply for a work permit so I’m currently job hunting and doing odd dog walking / cat sitting jobs to fill my time and for a bit of pocket money.

I met a girl who lives in my street a few months back and we became friendly. I would say we have got together maybe 3/4 times over the past few months either to go for walks or have a glass of wine, but don’t chat in between meet ups. We’re friendly but I wouldn’t quite call her a friend.

Anyway. Said girl is going on holiday for 10 nights and sends me a text on the day before she leaves to ask if I can sit her dog whilst she is away. 10 days is quite a commitment as she has to be walked 4 times a day and I know she is taking advantage of the fact that I don’t work. I said I could only do it if she could cover some costs as I wouldn’t be able to commit to any other sitting jobs during that time. She already mentioned that she would be paying £30 a day if she hired a stranger but she would much rather have someone local and known to her do it and could we agree on £20 per day, so I agreed.

She told me her flight was leaving late on the Friday so I just needed to do the evening walk and then the usual 4 visits between then and her returning. Here is the start of the cheekiness....!

Firstly I then woke up on the Friday morning to a barrage of texts from her sent at 5am. Supposedly they mixed up their flights and they left at the crack of dawn that day - meaning I then had to dive out of bed to run over to take the dog out as she had been in all night without a pee etc and have an additional day of walking.

When I got to the house, I saw that there are two lots of medication set out on the side for the dog, to be administered morning and evening. This is not a major issue, but was not mentioned during any discussion on looking after the dog.

There was also no money left for me as payment. Now, I would never ask for money from a friend or a family member for helping out with something like this, but as we only know each other briefly and it was agreed that this was a paid sitting job, I was expected the payment to be left for me. No payment, no mention in any of the texts that I woke up to about when she would pay me.

I then go to feed the dog after her first walk. Huge big bag of dog food with probably 3 days worth of food in (they are away for 10 days!) Quick look around did not find any extra food so I text her to find out if there was any additional food. Got a text back 8 hours later saying “ooops I forgot to check how much was left”. I replied to say there was only a couple of days left, to which she said she would order a bag on amazon fresh. I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply.
2 days later, no dog food has turned up, the bag is now empty and she hasn’t replied to tell me what’s going on. I guess she’s assuming I’m just going to buy it - I’ve not had an income in 7 months so I’m certainly not in a position to do that (the food they have is a huge £40 bag!).

Messaged again this morning asking if they’re having a good holiday and whether she ordered food. Again, no reply however I know she has been on her phone as she has been updating photos from their holiday about an hour ago. Also I should add that with where they are in holiday, there is very little chance that she is not receiving the texts due to signal etc. She has also not once asked if the dog is ok, if everything is ok with the house etc - it’s been 4 days since they left.

So my AIBU is would if be out of order of me to message her to say I can only look after the dog until the end of the week and then she will have to hire a sitter? I’m now going to have to buy dog food as I wouldn’t dream of just leaving the dog without (I actually feel really sorry for her), but I just feel she is treating me like a bit of a mug as she thinks I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
Maelstrop · 02/05/2018 21:00

Message her and say there is no food left and when will her order come? Tell her you a) can’t afford the food b) you require payment NOW for the job you are doing for her. Cheeky bitch is what she is.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:03

I messaged her Monday saying only 2 days food left and then again this morning asking what’s happening as there is no food left. No reply. I’ve been really polite up until now but am starting to get pissed off now tbh.

OP posts:
Shenanagins · 02/05/2018 21:03

Tell her that as there is no money for you or for food you will not be back. Ignore all texts.
However, as it’s not the dogs fault I would go in and take it out and feed it except on their return date so that they can deal with the mess.

stopfuckingshoutingatme · 02/05/2018 21:03

Cheeky cunt and a shit dog owner

Ugh . The friendship is over and leave her an itemised bill . Or say the job is over get someone else to do it

Or go Silent - that’s an idea and ignore her eventual texts for a few days ? And still leave itemised bill

gamerchick · 02/05/2018 21:04

Can you not say that as you are unable to feed the dog you’ll have to hand it in to a shelter and say it’s been abandoned? That might shift her arse a bit.

Horsedogbird · 02/05/2018 21:04

CF! Unbelievable!

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:06

I’m really tempted to text her saying sorry but I can only look after the dog until the end of the week then you’ll have to find someone else. My main concern is for the dog as she’s so sweet and loving and she’s being totally forgotten about by them whilst she’s away.

OP posts:
magoria · 02/05/2018 21:06

Do what has been suggested. Say you can't let the dog starve so will be taking it to a shelter.

You are not going to see any money from dog sitting. Don't fork out for it on top!

GrannyGrissle · 02/05/2018 21:06

Send her a final message; either she bank transfers money for food and your expenses or don't go back. Not only does she not intend to pay you she wants you to pay to look after her dogs. FUCK. THAT.

CocoPuffsInGodMode · 02/05/2018 21:08

She's taking the piss, you're not actual friends and I'm guessing after this you don't want to be! So you've nothing to lose by sending a very blunt message along the lines that she needs to either transfer your full payment plus cost of dog food or she contacts someone else to take over from you from tomorrow because you won't do it any longer.

She probably doesn't actually know you well enough to call your bluff and I imagine if she had another willing mug to do this for her she wouldn't have asked you so it may work.

Sweetpea55 · 02/05/2018 21:10

Take it to abandond dogs home and txt her. Or put a message on FB. Cheeky cow

DairyisClosed · 02/05/2018 21:10

I would just call the RSPCA and tell them to come get the dog because she had been left without food.

43percentburnt · 02/05/2018 21:10

If she is updating Facebook with photos ask on there when her dog will receive food and when payment will be received.

Alternatively say if she does not send money for food you will have to take the dog to a shelter as you have no money to feed it.

She clearly expects you to foot the bill.

AlmostAJillSandwich · 02/05/2018 21:11

Call the RSPCA or the equivalent for the country you are in.
She cannot seriously expect you magic money up for dog food, she well knows your situation and that you can't afford it, and you already know she doesn't actually have any intention of paying you for your time, let alone reimburse you for the dog food.

Honestly think she's done this on purpose, had no intention of paying you and knew you'd feel responsible for the dog once she went away and expected out of guilt you'd keep going to look after it, and saves £40 to spend on herself on holiday by not buying the food and expecting you'll buy it, again out of guilt.

She doesn't deserve to own an animal.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:12

I’ve sent her another text saying again that she has no food (there is prob enough until tomorrow in reality) and that I can’t look after the dog after Friday so she’ll have to find someone else. The dog is so sweet and it’s not her fault she has shit owners so I don’t want to leave her without knowing someone else is coming in - even though it’s not my responsibility!

OP posts:
SusanneLinder · 02/05/2018 21:14

Yup...If no food for dog then she has abandoned it. Take it to a shelter

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:14

@Almost I think you’re probably right tbh. I think she thought it would be too awkward to ask for the money after it’s done. I’m not being unreasonable here am I?!?

OP posts:
Fruitcorner123 · 02/05/2018 21:14

Message her again saying you have no food from tomorrow and you have no money to buy food as she neglected to leave any of your payment so please could she transfer you money both for your payment and extra cash for dog food. Tell her you need it urgently and be very firm in your message. If she doesn't reply or transfer money I would threaten to report that a dog has been left alone to the RSPCA or equivalent in your country. I don't think I would actually report it but the threat may be enough.

Alternatively if you are feeling brave you could send her a text that you have been called away for a family emergency and you won't be able to feed the dog after today so she needs to find someone else.

If she doesn't respond then I would do the minimum required to care for the dog and walk away. See it as a life lesson.

Do you have anything in writing from her? If you do you could get her on judge rinder.

Glassofredandapackofcrisps · 02/05/2018 21:15

Yes shelter for the dog from me also. What a disgusting person she is I honestly can't believe people like this exist.

TeenTimesTwo · 02/05/2018 21:15

Why not phone and speak to her?

Fruitcorner123 · 02/05/2018 21:16

Cross posted with you OK. Great minds think alike.

RandomMess · 02/05/2018 21:16

I would post publicly on her photos "why hasn't the dog food arrived, you didn't leave my payment either so I can't afford to buy it"

Thequeenisdeadboys · 02/05/2018 21:17

Just buy the dog enough food to last until she gets back, tins or Pet shops sell dried by the kg. She's taking advantage of you massively. Poor dog. Hope you get your payment and then some.

Fruitcorner123 · 02/05/2018 21:17

*OP

TattyDevine · 02/05/2018 21:18

It's astonishing how people take the piss and don't value your time when you don't work. I don't work either and the amount of favours I get asked is bordering on ridiculous. And the looks you get if you say no!

Recently a school gate mum I barely know wanted me to have her child from 7am till school drop off and then from pick up till 7:30pm 5 days a week! No thank you!