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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being treated like her unpaid skivvy! AIBU?

266 replies

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 20:55

Apologies this is so long....Ok so quick bit of back story. I live overseas and relocated last summer. I had to live in my new home country for 6 months before I could work, and then apply for a work permit so I’m currently job hunting and doing odd dog walking / cat sitting jobs to fill my time and for a bit of pocket money.

I met a girl who lives in my street a few months back and we became friendly. I would say we have got together maybe 3/4 times over the past few months either to go for walks or have a glass of wine, but don’t chat in between meet ups. We’re friendly but I wouldn’t quite call her a friend.

Anyway. Said girl is going on holiday for 10 nights and sends me a text on the day before she leaves to ask if I can sit her dog whilst she is away. 10 days is quite a commitment as she has to be walked 4 times a day and I know she is taking advantage of the fact that I don’t work. I said I could only do it if she could cover some costs as I wouldn’t be able to commit to any other sitting jobs during that time. She already mentioned that she would be paying £30 a day if she hired a stranger but she would much rather have someone local and known to her do it and could we agree on £20 per day, so I agreed.

She told me her flight was leaving late on the Friday so I just needed to do the evening walk and then the usual 4 visits between then and her returning. Here is the start of the cheekiness....!

Firstly I then woke up on the Friday morning to a barrage of texts from her sent at 5am. Supposedly they mixed up their flights and they left at the crack of dawn that day - meaning I then had to dive out of bed to run over to take the dog out as she had been in all night without a pee etc and have an additional day of walking.

When I got to the house, I saw that there are two lots of medication set out on the side for the dog, to be administered morning and evening. This is not a major issue, but was not mentioned during any discussion on looking after the dog.

There was also no money left for me as payment. Now, I would never ask for money from a friend or a family member for helping out with something like this, but as we only know each other briefly and it was agreed that this was a paid sitting job, I was expected the payment to be left for me. No payment, no mention in any of the texts that I woke up to about when she would pay me.

I then go to feed the dog after her first walk. Huge big bag of dog food with probably 3 days worth of food in (they are away for 10 days!) Quick look around did not find any extra food so I text her to find out if there was any additional food. Got a text back 8 hours later saying “ooops I forgot to check how much was left”. I replied to say there was only a couple of days left, to which she said she would order a bag on amazon fresh. I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply.
2 days later, no dog food has turned up, the bag is now empty and she hasn’t replied to tell me what’s going on. I guess she’s assuming I’m just going to buy it - I’ve not had an income in 7 months so I’m certainly not in a position to do that (the food they have is a huge £40 bag!).

Messaged again this morning asking if they’re having a good holiday and whether she ordered food. Again, no reply however I know she has been on her phone as she has been updating photos from their holiday about an hour ago. Also I should add that with where they are in holiday, there is very little chance that she is not receiving the texts due to signal etc. She has also not once asked if the dog is ok, if everything is ok with the house etc - it’s been 4 days since they left.

So my AIBU is would if be out of order of me to message her to say I can only look after the dog until the end of the week and then she will have to hire a sitter? I’m now going to have to buy dog food as I wouldn’t dream of just leaving the dog without (I actually feel really sorry for her), but I just feel she is treating me like a bit of a mug as she thinks I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:39

I’m not going down the rescue / shelter route - the poor dog doesn’t deserve that just as much as it doesn’t deserve the crappy owners.

I text her a few hours ago and still no reply. I know with the time difference it’s about 11am there now but I fail to believe she hasn’t seen my messages.

OP posts:
Nannyplumssillyoldelf · 02/05/2018 21:43

You don't have to take the dog to a shelter just tell her you're going to.

Giraffey1 · 02/05/2018 21:43

She is being utterly irresponsible. Text her an ultimatum saying as she has neither arranged for dog food nor paid you as agreed you are unable to continue the arrangement with effect from x o’clock tomorrow. Repeat this on all her Feacebook posts and Twitter if she is there. Also point out that she had made no mention of the need to administer medication and that this will incur extra charges. Tell her that if you get no response from her you will take the dog to a rescue shelter at the same x o’clock.

Giraffey1 · 02/05/2018 21:44

And what Nanny says!

Urubu · 02/05/2018 21:46

Another vote for posting on her FB wall.

Eliza9917 · 02/05/2018 21:47

Has she got meat in her freezer or tinned meat/tuna etc in the cupboards? If she has, feed the dog that.

Atetoomanyjaffacakes · 02/05/2018 21:47

I would have to tell her you have taken the dog to the shelter even though you haven't just to scare her.

I really hate people like this!

aaarrrggghhhh · 02/05/2018 21:51

I've just really annoyed my dog by giving him a big cuddle. I feel so sad for that doggy all on its lonesome.

What on earth was going to happen if you werent there!!??

AuntFidgetWonkhamStrongNajork · 02/05/2018 21:53

Post on her FB wall that you still haven't got the dog food she was supposed to order, that you would have bought some for her out of the advance payment she left you but she forgot that too. Do it publicly - she's ignored all your private messages.

givemeyourbadge · 02/05/2018 21:53

Bloody hell....you'd rather "not go down the shelter route"??

You'd rather leave a dog to starve to death?

I mean, what happens next time she goes away and you're not there to pick up the pieces?

If I were a dog I would prefer the chance of having a good owner through a shelter.

I'd also prefer being put to sleep rather than the cruelty of being abandoned without food and water , if it came to it Sad

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:55

I honestly have no idea! I’m spending probably 4 hours a day with him. Try obviousky don’t care at all. I’m pretty sure she’s read my message as another fb status has gone up 30 minutes ago!! 🤬

OP posts:
Accountant222 · 02/05/2018 21:57

She's taking the piss

ReallyExhaustedLlama · 02/05/2018 21:58

Where is she updating photos? If it’s Facebook can you do a public post on her page concerned that she’s not seeing your messages and you need food for the dog and need to know who will be taking care of it after Friday, or whatever day. Might Shame a response from her?

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 21:58

Givemeyourbadge have you actually read any of my posts? I haven’t once said I’m going to abandone the dog have I? In fact, quite the opposite! Always one 🙄

OP posts:
WingsOnMyBoots · 02/05/2018 21:59

I truly understand your dilemma and you are so right she is taking the mickey. But myself I would have to take care of the dog as it's not the dog's fault she has got a crap owner and she shouldn't have to suffer for her bad behaviour. I would definitely present her with an itemised bill and tell her what I think that make it clear this will never happen again. Poor little doggy.

lilcolibri · 02/05/2018 21:59

Post on her facebook.

What exactly are you going to do about the dog if she doesn't reply, provide money or food?

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 22:00

Yep Facebook posts. She’s on holiday with a group of friends and their partners. I’m going to leave it until tomorrow (I’ll have to buy dog food today!) and if she doesn’t reply to my texts I’ll message her on fb. I really wanted to try and avoid it turning into a huge argument but I’m not sure its avoidable.

OP posts:
aaarrrggghhhh · 02/05/2018 22:01

I would seriously go nuclear on her Facebook page. I appreciate that you are a nice and reasonable person and this sounds like a crazy person thing to do. But I think you need to respond to crazy person in crazy person language for the sake of the poor doggy.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 22:01

Well I’ve messaged her saying that I can look after him until Friday then she needs to find someone else, and can she let me know ASAP what’s going on so I can pass the key to someone....

OP posts:
Sunshinedaze · 02/05/2018 22:02

I’d post on her Facebook page, making a new status ( if you can or tag her on yours ) and publicly shame her. “ I’m glad you’re having such a great time. It’s a shame your dog is here with no food, starving and despite my constant messages to get it some food, you don’t seem to care. No dog deserves to be treated like this”

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 22:04

she has just replied:
“Hey sorry, haven’t had phone! Ok let me see what I can figure out. I’ll get right back to you. Would you mind running to Costco for food? I meant to order but I think switching his food while I am gone isn’t a good idea. I can send you monies.”

OP posts:
interrobangbang · 02/05/2018 22:06

Reply with your bank details and 'great I'll get the food herb I've been paid + food money'

Sugarpiehoneyeye · 02/05/2018 22:06

You need to call her bluff, to make her respond to your messages OP.
She is a disgrace, not fit to own a dog.
Don't allow her to walk all over you.

TemptressofWaikiki · 02/05/2018 22:07

I know this isn't really sensible nor would I probably do it but I would be so tempted to take a few valuable items to 'keep safe' and return them once you have been paid and reimbursed.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 22:07

I’m in serious disbelief 😂

OP posts: