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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Being treated like her unpaid skivvy! AIBU?

266 replies

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 20:55

Apologies this is so long....Ok so quick bit of back story. I live overseas and relocated last summer. I had to live in my new home country for 6 months before I could work, and then apply for a work permit so I’m currently job hunting and doing odd dog walking / cat sitting jobs to fill my time and for a bit of pocket money.

I met a girl who lives in my street a few months back and we became friendly. I would say we have got together maybe 3/4 times over the past few months either to go for walks or have a glass of wine, but don’t chat in between meet ups. We’re friendly but I wouldn’t quite call her a friend.

Anyway. Said girl is going on holiday for 10 nights and sends me a text on the day before she leaves to ask if I can sit her dog whilst she is away. 10 days is quite a commitment as she has to be walked 4 times a day and I know she is taking advantage of the fact that I don’t work. I said I could only do it if she could cover some costs as I wouldn’t be able to commit to any other sitting jobs during that time. She already mentioned that she would be paying £30 a day if she hired a stranger but she would much rather have someone local and known to her do it and could we agree on £20 per day, so I agreed.

She told me her flight was leaving late on the Friday so I just needed to do the evening walk and then the usual 4 visits between then and her returning. Here is the start of the cheekiness....!

Firstly I then woke up on the Friday morning to a barrage of texts from her sent at 5am. Supposedly they mixed up their flights and they left at the crack of dawn that day - meaning I then had to dive out of bed to run over to take the dog out as she had been in all night without a pee etc and have an additional day of walking.

When I got to the house, I saw that there are two lots of medication set out on the side for the dog, to be administered morning and evening. This is not a major issue, but was not mentioned during any discussion on looking after the dog.

There was also no money left for me as payment. Now, I would never ask for money from a friend or a family member for helping out with something like this, but as we only know each other briefly and it was agreed that this was a paid sitting job, I was expected the payment to be left for me. No payment, no mention in any of the texts that I woke up to about when she would pay me.

I then go to feed the dog after her first walk. Huge big bag of dog food with probably 3 days worth of food in (they are away for 10 days!) Quick look around did not find any extra food so I text her to find out if there was any additional food. Got a text back 8 hours later saying “ooops I forgot to check how much was left”. I replied to say there was only a couple of days left, to which she said she would order a bag on amazon fresh. I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply.
2 days later, no dog food has turned up, the bag is now empty and she hasn’t replied to tell me what’s going on. I guess she’s assuming I’m just going to buy it - I’ve not had an income in 7 months so I’m certainly not in a position to do that (the food they have is a huge £40 bag!).

Messaged again this morning asking if they’re having a good holiday and whether she ordered food. Again, no reply however I know she has been on her phone as she has been updating photos from their holiday about an hour ago. Also I should add that with where they are in holiday, there is very little chance that she is not receiving the texts due to signal etc. She has also not once asked if the dog is ok, if everything is ok with the house etc - it’s been 4 days since they left.

So my AIBU is would if be out of order of me to message her to say I can only look after the dog until the end of the week and then she will have to hire a sitter? I’m now going to have to buy dog food as I wouldn’t dream of just leaving the dog without (I actually feel really sorry for her), but I just feel she is treating me like a bit of a mug as she thinks I have nothing better to do with my time.

OP posts:
tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 22:29

@French nice that you know me so well after reading one post of mine....

OP posts:
Tistheseason17 · 02/05/2018 22:32

Get your sitting money and the dog food money.
It is your choice to do it for nothing cause believe me with CFs like this you ain't gonna be seeing cash.

MumofBoysx2 · 02/05/2018 22:44

If it were me I would buy the dog food and carry on looking after it (not call a dog warden as others have suggested as it would cause unnecessary stress and worry to the dog). Then just ignore her - let her sweat over whether or not the dog is being looked after. And never say yes to doing it again!

MumofBoysx2 · 02/05/2018 22:45

PS please don't raid the cupboards to feed it as others have suggested - if it is on medication then it probably doesn't need a massive change in its diet. Just buy the food but she's lost you for next time I guess!

PuntasticUsername · 02/05/2018 22:50

Is the dog male or female, OP? You've said both, at different points in the thread.

Ghostontoast · 02/05/2018 22:50

This dog owner is both flakey and cheeky!

Good luck OP!

HeebieJeebies456 · 02/05/2018 22:52

I said I’d happily buy the dog food if she sent me the cash by bank transfer - no reply

She's walking all over you and you're allowing her to treat you like shit.
Grow a backbone, toughen up and get assertive!
She consciously CHOSE to not pay for her dog's care (no food, no monies) and is acting 'innocently dumb' to avoid taking responsibility.
I bet the only reason she faked a mix-up over flight times was so she could avoid a face-to-face handover and conversation.

I'd have left a blunt message on her facebook posts the first time they went up after her ignoring your texts - guarantee she can't claim not to have seen it then!

As for you insisting you couldn't possibly leave the dog at a shelter.....what will you when she continues to ignore your texts, doesn't transfer food AND your payment, and doesn't arrange another dogsitter?

You're a mug if you keep looking after the dog under those circs.
If the dog gets ill under your care i bet she blames YOU for changing the food etc.
Unless she pays you now you will never see payment from her as she will claim she's skint post holiday.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 22:55

Dog is a she. Why is it relevant?

OP posts:
Charliecatpaws · 02/05/2018 22:56

Message her that you don’t have any money for expensive dog food and therefore the dog will have to start eating what’s in their freezer / cupboards etc. She’s a total cf, why should you be out of pocket 🤬

Charliecatpaws · 02/05/2018 22:58

And post to her Facebook so all her friend can see how a lovely person she is (not)

PuntasticUsername · 02/05/2018 22:59

No real reason, it just confused me briefly when she switched to he and then back again Smile

notapizzaeater · 02/05/2018 23:07

Hope she's paid you, I'd post it on her wall that you hadn't got the money yet to get fetch the food ....

HeedMove · 02/05/2018 23:11

Id reply okay here is my bank details put the money for food and my payment in please. I cant go until thats in my bank. Id suggest you be quick dogs quite hungry think shes eyeing up the sofas....

Aridane · 02/05/2018 23:12

The number of pushovers on Mumsnet amazes me more than the CFs.

KeepServingTheDrinks · 02/05/2018 23:12

I feel for you, tequila (and when you have such an awesome user name!). I'm definitely probably over-invested, but my stomach is knotting with tension, because I can just feel that you're going to pay out money you hvaen't got for dog food, and this horrible woman is never going to reimburse you for your costs, much less pay you what was agreed.

I'm so sorry. This doesn't help, but you sound like a lovely person. And the dog sounds lovely too!

AhNowTed · 02/05/2018 23:13

Cheeky fucking bitch!

Ask her for your money and money for food OP. Send her your bank details.. most people have a bank app so there's no excuse.

Who the fuck does this!

Honestly the amount of cheeky fuckers is unreal 😡

gillybeanz · 02/05/2018 23:13

Message her and tell her Dog is with RSPCA as you have no money and you had to tell them how she has left the dog with no food and unreliable help (because of lack of arrangements from her)

See how quick she gets in touch, better still post it on her fb, cheeky fucker.

Storminateapot · 02/05/2018 23:15

I'm a bit confused why the sex of the dog keeps changing. Owner refers to it as him, you've called it both he and she.

Other than that yes a CF.

gillybeanz · 02/05/2018 23:17

Aridane

sadly, I agree with you.

Aridane · 02/05/2018 23:18
Sad
LagunaBubbles · 02/05/2018 23:22

You're letting her treat you like this OP. You won't see any money for the dog sitting. But she knows you won't leave the dog un fed.

Knitjob · 02/05/2018 23:27

You sound like a nice person. Too nice. Can you buy smaller bags of the food, just enough for a week, rather than the large £40 bag? Or buy the cheapest you can afford for the rest of the time that's left. If you really really can't afford it then the dog will need to go to a shelter. You don't have any other choice.
Then just walk away at the end of the time. This woman is not your friend.
I wouldn't put anything public on Facebook, she'll just make out to her friends that you're crazy.

Marmablade · 02/05/2018 23:35

@storminateapot possibly to avoid being outed or possibly predictive text. Not sure it's hugely relevant Inspector Morse.

tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 23:35

@Aridane the number of rude people on here by far outways the push overs and CF.....

OP posts:
tequilamockingbird123 · 02/05/2018 23:36

Wtf does it matter what sex the dog is? Is that really the part of that big long spiel you are most interested in? 🙄

OP posts: