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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU to not want my DS to have this hairstyle?

252 replies

greenlantern1 · 01/05/2018 16:41

7 yr DS wants to have streaks razored into the side of his hair, like the footballers have. I can't stand it on young kids - plus I hate buying into that celebrity/sport bullshit culture.

I don't want him to have it. He's going to push for it.

OP posts:
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6
cyclecamper · 02/05/2018 18:44

His hair, his choice. It doesn't matter in the long term. Choice is important.

ToftyAC · 02/05/2018 18:52

I’ve always let my boys pick their own clothes and hairstyles (whether I liked them or not). Mainly because my mother exerted that sort of decision making on me as a youngster and her style choices and mine were very far apart.

Abbylee · 02/05/2018 19:14

We usually let dc be part of "rest of group" for clothes and hair. It helps to fit in at that age, that's very important as long as they are fitting in with good students.

Re: hair due that washes out/8 wks; nope. Doesn't. Plus blonde + blue = green.

Recently recently green haired dd told me that i should have let her experiment when everyone else did. As she is young adult telling me that. Thought maybe its pertinent here.

LittleLionMansMummy · 02/05/2018 19:23

I'm all for self expression and encourage ds to have his own opinions, question things and not take things at face value. That said, I'm the parent and there are some things I refuse to pander to him about. He can have his haircut however he wants as long as it doesn't involve shaving patterns into it. His best friend (who is also 7) apparently has his ear pierced, hence ds broached the subject of getting his ear pierced too. I've told him no and that I'd buy him a pet snake (something else he wants) sooner than I'd let him get his ear pierced (the pet snake will be for his 10th birthday if he's responsible enough and still into them). I've said I'll consider the ear piercing again when he goes to senior school, but until then it's non negotiable. He hasn't mentioned it since. You're the parent op.

Fleshmechanic · 02/05/2018 19:24

It's literally hair. It'll grow back within a month. If his school doesn't care then I would let them do it. If your child isn't allowed to express themselves to a degree then I think you might be trying to raise a robot and not a thinking, independent human being. I know he's 7 but it's not that serious, its pretty minor I think. I'm not really sure what he could do if you say no but if it looks terrible then it'll make for a funny embarrassing photo in the future.

pollymere · 02/05/2018 19:58

Most primary schools don't allow patterns in hair. Not worth the hassle.

Cantthinkofabloodyusername · 02/05/2018 20:03

My nephew had the Batman symbol shaved into the back of his head last summer holiday, he was 5! He loved it and it had grown out within about 3 weeks x

Teacher22 · 02/05/2018 20:04

His teachers will think he is from a problem home and act accordingly. They might get him a statement, special help and then a shoe-in to a top university if Corbyn gets in. Send him into school in some box new, outrageous trainers as well. Good luck.

Smeddum · 02/05/2018 20:07

His teachers will think he is from a problem home and act accordingly. They might get him a statement, special help and then a shoe-in to a top university if Corbyn gets in. Send him into school in some box new, outrageous trainers as well. Good luck

Grin
VerbenaBorensis · 02/05/2018 20:18

Can't be compared to an earring!!!! Its a haircut not a life changer!

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 02/05/2018 20:25

Brilliant Teachers love your spin Grin

If this was a thread about a son wanting to grow his hair long, I suspect there would be very different responses Yes absolutely.

ICantCopeAnymore · 02/05/2018 20:56

Earrings are temporary too, though I firmly believe a child needs to be able to consent. Making holes in babies is child abuse.

I'm a teacher and I can honestly say that the colour or pattern of a child's hair has absolutely no effect on their learning whatsoever. I can't really understand the ridiculous rules schools have regarding hair and clothes, as they're just encouraging children to want to break them.

Annette69 · 02/05/2018 22:09

Can’t stand it at any age, looks horrendous

MsJudgemental · 02/05/2018 22:33

70isalimit
Look up ‘ketwig’ and ‘meet me at McDonald’s”

Devora13 · 02/05/2018 23:15

If you don't like it and you've already said no, then stick to it. Otherwise you are giving the message that if he nags enough about something enough you will give in. It's not a question of picking your battles. This isn't a battle, he has no weapon, you are the adult, you make the important decisions.

CosyLulu · 03/05/2018 05:33

It’s the slippery slope I’d worry about. If you let him have the haircut then before you know it he will have bought an illegal tattoo kit and tattooed his face, pierced everything, started wearing nothing but joggers indoors and out and you’ll be to blame for not parenting him.

Beware the slippery slope and buy him a wig.

HermesAndPinot · 03/05/2018 06:01

Whose in charge here? If he can overrule you at 7 you are doomed, When he leaves home he can have any style he likes. The end

THIS

Purplealienpuke · 03/05/2018 06:16

It's hair. Hair grows back. If you don't have a problem with it or the school don't have a problem with it then it doesn't need to be a an issue.
Fyi chav or chavvy actually means child in its original language.

Monty27 · 03/05/2018 06:19

No! Just that. You are the parent however. Be brow beaten if you choose. And you will be defined as well as him.

MaisyPops · 03/05/2018 07:35

It's not a question of picking your battles. This isn't a battle, he has no weapon, you are the adult, you make the important decisions.
This
Whose in charge here? If he can overrule you at 7 you are doomed,
This. (Maybe this is how we get parental meetings in secondary for poor behaviour and attitude where parent is saying their child doesn't do homework, revise etc because 'they're up on their Xbox/phones all night... but what can you do really about it. That's teenagers.' What can you do? Be the parent. Take the xbox and phones off them.

loubeylou68smellsofreindeerpoo · 03/05/2018 07:37

Let him have it in the summer hols

ICantCopeAnymore · 03/05/2018 07:41

I thought chav was "council house and violent"?

Those who are saying their children can have whatever style they want when they move out, are you seriously suggesting you're going to police your child's body as they get older too? A teenager? A young adult? That'll go well.

Gottagetmoving · 03/05/2018 10:59

If you don't want your ds to have the haircut then don't let him. It doesn't matter if he pushes for it or not...
However, just weigh up whether your views on it really matter.
It will grow, and you could allow it for the summer holidays.
He will get fed up of it or grow out of it anyway.
He doesn't see it the way you do and likes the way it looks.
It isn't a slippery slope to anything negative.

There are things that parents should be firm about, like wanting too many sugary treats, sloppiness, bad behaviour, where there shouldn't be negotiation but this is a haircut, nothing shocking like dying it a bright colour, just some neat lines cut into the style.

SoupDragon · 03/05/2018 11:11

Whose in charge here? If he can overrule you at 7 you are doomed

Ridiculous. He wouldn’t be “over ruling” anyone.

My children have been allowed whatever hairstyle they want provided it fits school rules or is in the holidays. The two eldest have cruised through their teen years with no rebellion or any battles whatsoever (and one of them is definitely not an easy child!). Whether the year nest follows suit remains to be seen.

Saying that letting a child have the ridiculous haircut they want at 7 will turn them into a rule breaking rebellious teen is utter nonsense.

I think my children have learnt that when I say no to something it is for a reason far better than “I don’t like it and I am in charge”.

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