Is this groom a CF?

[SaveBandit]

I usually love a good CF thread and ones mixed in with weddings are always great. But now that it's happening to us I'm not sure what to do!

We went to a wedding at the weekend for one of DH's colleagues. They had an amazon gift list so DH ordered something from there. It came in quite a big box and the shape of the actual gift meant that we had to wrap the box with the gift inside.

When we arrived we noticed that nobody else had presents, thought nothing of it but people kept commenting and saying "We just got them vouchers/money." We asked DH's colleague, the groom, where to put it and he was quite surprised and said "We weren't expecting gifts. Thank you, can you put it by the post box for cards?"

So we did, forgot all about it and enjoyed the day and night. Towards the end of the night we stood near the post box and I pointed out that ours was still the only present. DH laughed it off and said "Looks like we're the only ones who saw the gift list!" Left a short while after and thought nothing more about the gift.

DH got a message last night from groom saying "Thanks for coming on Saturday and for the gift. We had a bit of a last minute change and decided to ask for money towards the honeymoon instead of what we'd put on the gift list. Can we arrange to send it back and just get the money for it instead? I can pass it back next week when I'm back in work. Really appreciate the thought but definitely think we need a holiday after the stress of wedding planning."

The gift cost £70. DH didn't reply but showed it to me. I was just shocked at how cheeky it was. I'm leaving it up to him to sort because I have only met the couple a handful of times. I do just feel a bit stupid turning up with this huge box when everyone else seemed to be told to give money/vouchers. Dh said this was the first he'd heard of giving money and he has no problem giving money but feels asking if we can return it and give him money instead is a bit out of order.

Should we just return it and leave it at that or does anyone have any choice words or phrases we can reply with?!

Or you could say ‘no problem, sorry you didn’t need the gift but go ahead and return it’. Then never send the money. If he asks for it just say, still waiting on the refund from Amazon. You can pretend it went missing....his fault.

after discussion with both lots of GPs, it's clear they'd much rather she was honest and said thank you, but it's not quite what she'd like, and they can change for something she would like/wear.

I don't think that's the same thing as a wedding gift anyway, but in any case surely the polite thing to do in this situation (clothes given as gift that you dislike) is to ask the gift giver if they'd mind you changing it and to ask if they have the receipt? In my family we're pretty relaxed about gifts being changed - we tend to give receipts with clothing presents as default - but I think it's a bit off to ask the giver to go on a second shopping trip.

but I think they'd ask for the rest of it!

all the more reason to give them less!

I'd ignore the text, tbh.

Otherwise return the gift and give no cash or a lower value than £70.

It's not your job to pay for their holiday.
Just say no.

How fucking RUDE! I'd say, sure pass it back. Then return it and keep the money and give him a voucher for Iceland.

I’m happy to give money if asked but this is really rude.

I’m with everyone else, I’d quietly take back the gift and give them £20.

I'd also tell him to return it, then never come up with the money.

OMG I would be telling him to fuck off and give his head a wobble

Seriously WTF is wrong with people.

Really appreciate the thought but definitely think we need a holiday after the stress of wedding planning

This is quite annoying in and of itself. There is nothing more annoying than people who act as if having a wedding is some terrible trial forced upon them, rather than an expensive treat for themselves that they had because they wanted to.

Totally different Discontinued as the item was on their gift list so they clearly liked it to ask for it in the first place.

Even if that was not the case it would be monumentally rude to say you don't like a gift, none of your family are doing your dc any favours there

Personally, I'd be tempted to return it as requested and once the money was back in my account give them £30 cash. It would be less than the gift due to the amout of faffing about they'd caused me, and the bloody cheek! Seriously rude. I'd actually be tempted and keep 'forgetting' to give the cash. Don't think I'd be brave enough though, easy life and all that. But I certainly wouldn't do the return and give the full cash, more likely just ignore them altogether.

I've just got off the phone to DH and he said that he bought it three weeks ago and by the time the groom gets back from their "mini-moon" in Italy and gives him the present it might be too late to return.

Wow, this is such bad manners by the groom. I would return the item & get your money back then send the CF less cash - no more than £40. The reduced amount would be to cover the inconvenience of wrapping and taking the gift to the wedding & then having to return it.

What is a CF?

Wow, it's very rude of them to ask you to return it. Unless the groom is your DH's boss (if so, he may not want to rock the boat!) I would definitely get a refund and give the happy couple less - maybe £50 if you're still feeling generous.

He would be incredibly rude to ask for the extra money. And if he did, just call him out on how rude it is to specify the amount of money in a gift.

@keepingbees

I like a previous posters idea of returning it then giving them less money. I think that's what I would do!

Yeah, great idea! That would never have occurred to me, but I love it.

I quite like the idea of returning it and giving £20. Such a CF.

'Haha giving them less money would be hilarious but I think they'd ask for the rest of it!'

So what? They can whistle for it. They ask for it back you laugh back, 'Did you get a first from the Entitled Cheekster University?' and change the subject.

'DH did comment on the "We weren't expecting gifts" but thought he was just being polite.'

No gifts doesn't mean 'Give me money.'

Don't give them shit.

Ha ha! Just seen your update. I would stick to that plan and they will just have to keep the present. As you say, they asked for it anyway, so presumably they do actually want it!

"Might be too late to return". Oh dear, what a shame .

Take it back and give him a fiver.

I'd be inclined to send £1 or even 1p but it depends how much you value the friendship. What amazingly cheeky and entitled people they are. Wow.

Yes it's rude, and I am with the other posters that say return it and give them less cash than the gift value.

Seriously, I would do this.

That's gobsmackingly rude. I'd return it and give him a fiver. All in coppers.