AIBU to wash my friend's DD's coat?

[anniemagoo]

My friend's DD comes for tea every week after school. She's been wearing the same white coat all winter. And every week the coat is looking filthier and filthier. I have no idea why my friend lets her walk around like it.

Every week that coat hangs on my bannister while she's here and I keep looking at it thinking I could just pop it in my washing machine. But I resist because it's not my place.

Well she forgot to take it home today. I texted my friend and she said don't worry she'll pick it up sometime when passing.

So now I'm looking at it thinking should I just pop it in my machine? Or is that out of order.

Sorry if I sound judgy. I'm not normally.

I don't understand the 'mind your own business' types of people. It takes a village and all that

Yes Blaake and I’d agree if we were talking about neglect. But we aren’t.

Washing this child’s coat when it got left behind is the social equivalent of cleaning your friend’s house when you come in to water their plants and pick up their mail as a holiday favour.

Wash it of course! I bet the child will be thrilled 😁

I've washed quite a few dirty items left at my house & just say something like "oh DD must have put it in the wash bin with her clothes".

Kids are sentimental about things. I was as a kid. I'd ask first, just say it's gotten dirty (for whatever reason) while at yours and would it be OK to wash it?

keep your nose washing machine out of it
i would be annoyed if someone decided that my kids stuff needs washing and did it without even asking

Sentimental over a dirty coat yes ok...

It’s out of order because you know she’ll be offended but as others have said... stick it in the washer before texting and saying you spilt something on it. Unless she’s likely to say something mental like it’s been ruined by the spill or by washing it .

Not exactly the same @AmazingPostVoices would you really let a child walk around with an absolutely filthy caked in mud coat all the time when you had the opportunity to wash it? Imagine the social embarrassment that child faces. And I know because my mother used to wash my cousin's clothes in almost the same situation. They actually started to turn up of their own accord to get their clothes washed.

My daughter’s coat gets filthy and I get so used to looking at it that I forget to wash it too. Plus she only has one so I worry it won’t dry in time for next day use. If I left it at your house and you washed it for me, I would be really grateful and pleased for what it’s worth.

Just look at the washing label on coats Chouetted it will always say if it's machine washable, tumble dryable, and at what temperature. It's all in the washing symbols.

"Husband thought it was our kids coat and threw it in the wash with other whites"

Simple easy explanation 😊

I wash DSDs coat every other weekend when she comes.It stinks of dog and sweat and it’s foul.I couldn’t care less what her mum thinks, she should wash it herself.

Or maybe your husband could wash it himself? It is his job you know.

Maybe your dd's mother thinks it is staying clean as being washed every other week which is plenty for a coat.

Good work Anniemago!

Imagine the social embarrassment that child faces. And I know because my mother used to wash my cousin's clothes in almost the same situation. They actually started to turn up of their own accord to get their clothes washed.

Blaake you are still talking about neglect though.

There is no suggestion that this child is neglected.

There is no suggestion that this child has suffered any social embarrassment at all from her grubbby coat. Just that it annoyed the OP.

People have different standards. That doesn’t translate to neglect.

I keep my bathroom to a higher standard than the vast majority of my friends. I don’t clean their loos when I visit.

No don’t wash it .Keep your nose out .Maybe it is being washed regularly and the kid just gets dirty easily ,that and the fact it’s a white coat

And? There is a child. She is walking around in a dirty coat and has been for a long period of time. The OP sees this child regularly and knows it is not being washed. I don't understand what anyone would have against washing it in this situation ? It would be entirely different if the coat was slightly marked and not noticeable, but this is not the OP's situation.

Hope she collects it soon as I am dying to find out what happens

Has anyone washed this bleedin' coat yet?!

Oreo

I had items of clothes that smelt of certain people etc and I wouldn't allow them to be washed until I was going to see said person again. I also had a blanket and toy that I'd never allow to be washed. (turns out my mum had to wash these and then try to re-scent them over night lol) so yes, items of clothes can be sentimental. Who is to say that a passed relative or distant friend etc didnt purchase the coat? All I am is saying is there may be a good reason and I would check first so I didn't upset anyone.

I would be so tempted to wash it too! Why buy a white coat for your kid if you're not going to wash it all the time ffs? You could say that you spilt tea on it, but then of course if it gets damaged during washing that will be a whole new problem!!

Leave it be. Not your problem x

Wash it!

Don't use fabric conditioner! It will wreck any waterproofing it might have.

It's been washed. It's only a coat and there was no malice or judgement behind it, OP just thought it needed a wash.

Languid:

And every week the coat is looking filthier and filthier. I have no idea why my friend lets her walk around like it.

Of course there was judgement.

There is a child. She is walking around in a dirty coat and has been for a long period of time. The OP sees this child regularly and knows it is not being washed

And? how is the child harmed from having a dirty coat? My son always has shoes covered in mud, do you want to bundle him into your car and shine them for him?