AIBU to wash my friend's DD's coat?

[anniemagoo]

My friend's DD comes for tea every week after school. She's been wearing the same white coat all winter. And every week the coat is looking filthier and filthier. I have no idea why my friend lets her walk around like it.

Every week that coat hangs on my bannister while she's here and I keep looking at it thinking I could just pop it in my washing machine. But I resist because it's not my place.

Well she forgot to take it home today. I texted my friend and she said don't worry she'll pick it up sometime when passing.

So now I'm looking at it thinking should I just pop it in my machine? Or is that out of order.

Sorry if I sound judgy. I'm not normally.

@NotTakenUsername did you actually just say 'the chorus of victims everywhere?' classy.

I don't feel bullied by you. I'm not your friend either.

I'm saying you are suggesting the OP bullies her friend. You'll probably call it 'a bit of banter' or respond with an emoji that means fuck all, as is your right. Still bullying though.

and Mookatron is right, if the OP were to stick a before and after picture of the whole coat on here, so it is identifiable, that would be extremely mean, and mortifying for the owner.

Those saying it's out of order to wash it, isn't her friend out of order to not have washed it?

This thread isn’t about washing clothes while the child is there.

The coat has been left at op house and will be picked up ‘at some point’.

Of course mookatron is right, but who in their right mind would actually do that and not take that comment as a funny joke?

In between Penggwn & Nottaken's little tête à tête, can I just say to @mmzz, if your services are for hire, I have a 19yo & 17yo available for a playdate chez vous! Many thanks!

OP, hope it all works out in the wash!

I would wash it and quite honestly if my friend asked then i would say it was because it was dirty.

Why would you lie and make up a story about something spilling. If its filthy then maybe your friend should feel embarassed to have sent her dd out likt that.

And to those who say please don't wash my kids clothes due to sensitivities etc, I always wash any random bits of clothing that have ended up at our house or come back from a school trip in with my kids' stuff, as I figure that it would better to have to give something that's clean a quick wash again rather than something that has festered dirty & damp at the bottom of a bag for an extended period of time.

Say you spilled squash on it or something and wash it. I would lol

Did it come out nice and clean?

Well I'm amazed! It was so bad I thought perhaps it had been washed and the stains wouldn't come out. But it appears not. It was just dirt. It now looks like a brand new coat!

I washed it in skin friendly detergent as some posters had suggested it could affect the girl's skin. (Although I'm not aware of any issues).

Very pleased with the result.

OP could you do a before and after photo, like the ads? Not the whole garment, just a grubby patch.

I wanted to. But this thread was posted only to assess how out of order I would be to wash it. I didn't want to do a "look how dirty this coat is" post because I thought it would be a bit unfair to my friend.

If you see my post on the bed linen washing thread you will see I am far from fussy so you can safely assume it was worse than "MN dirty".

Brilliant. I bet she will be pleased with it

I would have done the same to be fair, if they're left here and I need stuff for the wash, in it goes! Even my best mates stuff and she only lives 3 houses down 😂

Please say you'll post the reaction, I'm intrigued whether she'll be grateful or totally fucked off.

I would have no hesitation in washing it.

Say one of the kids spilled something on it.

Please say you'll post the reaction, I'm intrigued whether she'll be grateful or totally fucked off.

Yes I will. I don't know when it'll be though. Next week is a bank holiday so it might be 2 weeks. Unless she pops round before then.

I hope she won't be fucked off. I am a bit nervous because I'm not a very good liar so I hope she believes the "the coat had an accident" story I give her.

Well I hope the mum and DD are grateful.
Glad you washed it though.
I wouldn't have been able to resist either.

I’m late to the party but not everyone realises coats can be washed. Genuinely, she might have just been going to ditch after the winter.

I have washed wedding dresses, sofa cushions, all sorts.
My mum used to have ‘accidents’ on the first day of school camp when the kids were out at activities that meant washing cases of clothes, sometimes cases go entirely lost and had to be replaced out of he spares bag she just happened to have. My dad used to drive up after work, pick up the bags, launder them and return them after work the next day. Never occurred to me it wasn’t normal. Mind you that was more than a grubby coat.

I'm secretly hoping that it's my dds coat. We were given a white coat for her and though I have washed it several times she just seems to roll around in the dirt. and I feel so busy at the moment I can't seem to even keep on top of the normal washing.
Fingers crossed 😁

I can't believe how many posters would be pissed off at someone else washing their kids coat if you're so bothered then you should have washed it yourself

I have (countless times) had nieces/nephews/cousins and even neighbours kids visit and spill something or jump in puddles and generally get mucky (like kids do) and I have always just stripped them down, given them clean pyjamas/clothing to wear and washed their outfits before sending them back home. And family and friends would do (and have done) the same for me. I wouldn't dream of letting a child walk round covered in muck when I could offer them clean, warm clothing and send them back out to play while I washed a coat. MN really is quite a place

I always wash clothes that have been left at my house before returning. Seems more polite giving a nice clean folded garment than returning a dirty jumper that's been lying about for a week?

I don't think you need to think of any excuse. Just hand it over, folded, that's it. If she's not bothered about grime she might be equally unimpressed by clean especially if she knows it's going to get grubby again soon. You might agonise over an excuse and then finds she never mentions it!

I can't believe how many posters would be pissed off at someone else washing their kids coatshock if you're so bothered then you should have washed it yourself

That is just nonsense. What is bothering people is the idea that friends and acquaintances have any role to play in deciding when their children's coats need washing. No one should be overstepping that line, regardless of their opinion on the coat.

Bunty - same. Unless it's something that looks beyond my washing skills silk/dry clean only