To ask you if you think I'm a shit mum

[shitmother123]

Name changed as don't want anyone in rl reading my threads and putting together that I'm a shit mum

So first off, I should say I KNOW I shouldn't compare my baby to others but it's so goddamn hard not to. Yes this is my first born so I don't know what I'm doing. She is 11 months now.

She cannot yet crawl. Or put her feet down to try and stand. All other babies in my regular group are charging around like mad things and mine is not interested. All she wants to do is put things in her mouth.

Went to a new music baby group today to try it out and it made me realise how shit of a Mum I am. I knew about 2 of the 10 nursery rhymes (and even then only the well known verses). So I'm sat there like a buffoon trying to copy everyone's words and actions, all the babies are either watching or trying to join in with their mums and mine is just desperately trying to put any bit of dirt or fluff in her mouth. Not only that but they got my dd name wrong when singing a song, and I'm sat there singing along about a girl called Jane thinking nothing of it because I was trying to not let dd eat my shoe. So then they get to the next activity and my turn is first. "Ohhhh what would Jane like to play with today?" I corrected her and said oh sorry it's Margaret (names changed obviously!), and then felt like an extra special wally when I realised that we had been singing about our children and it was like I didn't even know my child's name.

Aibu to ask you if you saw me at a baby group would you think of Christ what a crappy mother?

Honestly please don't worry op, I imagine you're much younger than me but this always makes me laugh..

Not knowing a couple of nursery rhymes does not make you a shit Mum! I used to sing Agadoo to mine!!

I promise you op once you have learnt the nursery rhymes you will regret it..... they will run round and round your head aaaaaallllll day and drive you demented .
Oh and for the record nope no sign of a shit mum that i can see. My ds barely crawled and even took ages to be able to roll over.... worry not one jot

You are the same as every other mum, winging it until you work out what to do. Don't stress about things like that. You'll know all the nursery rhymes soon and wish you didn't, they seem to push the decent songs out your head
And your wee one will walk when she is ready, enjoy the time you have that she's not crawling/walking about because they get in at EVERYTHING!!

According to my mother, I never crawled - could never be bothered to. Didn't do me any harm, I promise

anyway, nursery rhymes are rubbish.

babies prefer "Mr Boombastic" by Shaggy or "I've got the Power" (Snap) or even Coldplay

My toddlers skipped nursery rhymes and went straight into gothic metal

I’m pretty sure every one else is the same with nursery rhymes, plus they seem to vary the words between different classes which always caught me out Just this week I went to a new class and they did Sleeping Bunnies differently!

NB I had never heard Sleeping Bunnies or Wind the Bobbin till I had a baby! I didn’t think I’d be learning new nursery rhymes in my 30s. How are you meant to just know these things?!

You’re really not crap, I remember getting upset that my friends’ babies all sat nicely playing with toys whereas mine couldn’t sit up yet and just rolled around the playmat like crazy She sat a few weeks later and has just always wanted to be on the move, at 20 months she never sits still!

Bananamonkey you've just reminded me that sleeping bunnies I assume was one. Something about bunnies and all the other mums cradling their babies/making them hop? Didn't have a clue!

I would check out the not weight bearing with your GP.

They always sing weird songs at those groups OP. They do it to test us. It's like some sort of bizarre "in the best mum cause I know the most obscure songs" ritual. Don't stress yourself.

Yes never heard of it previously! Honestly everyone is so wrapped up in their own baby and trying to work out the words and actions themselves, it will soon be stuck in your head driving you mad.

You need to get her checked out by a physio.
Ask gp or hv to refer.
They may refer to paediatrician too for a general check.
Can she sit without support ? How was her birth? Has she had hearing and vision checked?get her a once over for everything. She may benefit from physio.physio can show you exercises to do ypurself.
And you may be referred for further tests. But one step at a time.

And if you don't do nursery rhymes then pop songs are fine! Anything repetitive helps babies learn.

That you tube clip is brilliant!

I was you months ago. I loved the baby music class though, most mums were feeding baby or trying to stop them crying that they wouldn’t notice my baby wasn’t rolling/sitting/crawling when there’s were. And taking photos rather than singing along. Then came toddler group. I HATED it. My LG only crawled a week before her first birthday. All toddlers were walking and Interacting with eachother whereas my LG was crying cause I wouldn’t let her drink out of another kids beaker.
I ended up quitting when she still wasn’t walking at 16 months so I’m a really shit mum. I stuck to stay and plays and soft play places. People seemed to keep themselves to themselves more.
Re the late walking, Hv came around just before 18 months and encouraged taking her outside walking holding her hand (which she could do around 16/17 months) used to walk to shop with her , walk round the park. 2 weeks later she was a fully fledged walker.

The only thing you are doing wrong is comparing your baby to others.

Please stop doing this. I am sure your baby is fine, will catch up when they are good and ready and does not need you to feel guilty about things that are just life and not due to you being a shit mum or good mum or kind of average mum!

The fact that you seem to care so much absolutely makes me believe you are not a shit mum!

My son never properly crawled either he was like a soldier commando crawling along on his arms was really funny, then one day stood up and he was off just before his first birthday. You're not a crap mum, it's hard and no two babies are the same. YouTube is great for nursery rhymes and DD can watch with you

Don't worry OP. Till you have been asked to leave a toddler group you are doing fine. One of my worst was taking ds1 at 2 to a music group called Pandemonium. It really wasn't. D1 ran around like a mad thing when we arrived much to the horror of all the other parents and the organiser.He had been doing his favourite thing of collecting empty strong lager cans in the park on the way there and putting them the base of the buggy - then carried them all to the bin one at a time saying 'Mummy's tea'. The worst was some people looking at me as if to say 'i don't blame you love'

The nadir was the SureStart christmas party where he clothes lined all the little girls their party frocks. It looked lie that scene in kill bill when she fights the crazy 88. I had to wrestle him to the ground and drag him out kicking while i cried and shouted apologies at everyone.

Love that youtube clip as well. I brought my son to one of those and he wouldn't keep still - the perils of a walking 11 month old. I was told after the session the baby had to sit still. Needless to say I didn't go back. She was quite snippy about it even though it was just a tester session.

Didn't everyone else suffer the trauma of listening to nursery rhyme music on repeat in the car? Did I go through all that for nothing You mean to say my kids would have turned out the same, regardless?
Probably - but that's how I learnt every single bloody word to hundreds of nursery rhymes.

The wind your bobbin up, originates from the weaving mills of the north. It's how they taught the youngsters, the actions to go through the motions of their job at the tender young age they often were.

My eldest didn't walk until 18 months, although he could climb out of the cot at nine months! In contrast, my youngest walked (as in proper weight-bearing walk with me holding his hands, and holding his head up) on his first night in hospital. I was ecstatic and thought I had given birth to the world's strongest baby until the nurse rolled her eyes and said "they all do that it's reflex". Once your baby realises the benefits of walking she will become mobile. As the extremely old joke goes, You spend your first two years teaching them to stand up and talk and the next 18 telling them to sit down and shut up.

You’re doing a great job. Kids walk and crawl at their own pace. My ex-bosses daughter didn’t start to walk until about 20months but was a chatterbox with full on sentences and then she started to walk. I hate mother’s groups, don’t do anything for me, I don’t know any real kids songs and just sing pop music to my kids. I tried doing the whole “hush little baby” song the other night at 3am and suddenly the whole “If that diamond ring don’t sparkle” turned into a rhyme of “mamas going to buy you a Meagan Markel” lol

Hop little bunnies hop, Hop, hop, hop arrrrgh now it's back in my head. Little baby bum is now on netflix and some of the rhymes they've changed the words slightly or even made completely new ones up since I was a kid.

Honestly I take my 12 month old to baby groups and I spend the whole time chasing after her as all she does is crawl wherever she's not supposed to go. Then I have to stop her eating everything. Sand, soil, other children. She particularly likes nibbling other people's feet her nickname is destructobaby as she literally leaves a path of destruction, and if you are in her way she will just crawl over you or nibble your feet until you move. They all their little quirks

I'm not a competitive Mum at all. Our son didn't say much until he was about 3. Didn't do anything about it I thought he'll talk when ready.
I learned the damned nursery rhymes by mind numbing repetition.
I hope you aren't serious about feeling like a shitty Mum.
I you were my friend telling me this I would have been howling with laughter.
We all feel like a duck out of water at times but as long as you know your kid isn't sick or has special needs that need professional attention just laugh it off.
A friend of mine walked out of the supermarket without her baby and couldn't remember what was missing until she was near her car.
I can tell you so many histories from over the years of the calamities that happen to me and other Mums.
Don't take it too seriously just try to have fun even when you don't know what the hell its going on. Our son it's 12 now.