To ask you if you think I'm a shit mum

[shitmother123]

Name changed as don't want anyone in rl reading my threads and putting together that I'm a shit mum

So first off, I should say I KNOW I shouldn't compare my baby to others but it's so goddamn hard not to. Yes this is my first born so I don't know what I'm doing. She is 11 months now.

She cannot yet crawl. Or put her feet down to try and stand. All other babies in my regular group are charging around like mad things and mine is not interested. All she wants to do is put things in her mouth.

Went to a new music baby group today to try it out and it made me realise how shit of a Mum I am. I knew about 2 of the 10 nursery rhymes (and even then only the well known verses). So I'm sat there like a buffoon trying to copy everyone's words and actions, all the babies are either watching or trying to join in with their mums and mine is just desperately trying to put any bit of dirt or fluff in her mouth. Not only that but they got my dd name wrong when singing a song, and I'm sat there singing along about a girl called Jane thinking nothing of it because I was trying to not let dd eat my shoe. So then they get to the next activity and my turn is first. "Ohhhh what would Jane like to play with today?" I corrected her and said oh sorry it's Margaret (names changed obviously!), and then felt like an extra special wally when I realised that we had been singing about our children and it was like I didn't even know my child's name.

Aibu to ask you if you saw me at a baby group would you think of Christ what a crappy mother?

Wouldn't think that at all. Today I've removed an LOL doll, a piece of chewing gum and a pound coin from my almost 1 year old mouth. Oh and this morning I had to stop her eating a spring roll that must have got dropped under the couch last night. She also doesn't walk whereas my first walked at 10 months!

My eldest DD didn’t crawl (she bum shuffled, it was hilarious!) and didn’t walk till 16 months
I never even took either of my eldest 2 to babygroups so had never heard some of the nursery rhymes they came home from nursery singing and regularly asked their teachers to sing to me 😂
I have 4 DC and never ever get any of their names right, I’ve been known to call the little one by the dogs name before now

So if you’re a shit Mum I need mine taking away pdq!

I had no idea in this music group we went to where they sang about shopping. The leader said something like "

You're not a rubbish mum at all. I never knew the nursery rhymes except for the well known ones. My kids never wanted to join in anyway.
One of mine was an early starter on everything and wouldn't be kept still. Baby massage was a disaster as while everyone else's babies were laying being massaged mine was constantly making a break for freedom.
My youngest was the opposite, a late starter and was never interested in moving, sitting, standing etc and she always hated baby groups.
They are all different and you sound like you're doing a great job

You are not a shit mum, so change that Username right now!

All kids develop at different ages, DD will get there in her own time. I don't believe in pushing babies, just chill and let them get on with it.

As for the nursery rhymes, they are like earworm's. You'll soon pick them up and wish you hadn't

My baby is nine months and i'd say she's never heard a nursery rhyme. She likes ads on the telly, opening people's shoelaces and staring at the cat. No crawling and feeding herself is a disaster. You're doing grand. Plus all the other mums prob think they're disasters too.

And you're doing better than me I haven't taken her to any baby groups hated them last time round so not attempting them this time she will be going to nursery after the summer so can interact with other babies and sing nursery rhymes then

The age they walk or crawl has nothing to do with your parenting prowess, assuming you're not keeping her in a kennel.

I'm sure you can get nursery rhymes on Youtube. DD had a DVD of The Wiggles doing nursery rhymes.

Mine finally learned to crawl at 3.5 years old. She could walk at 18 months but crawling took some explaining to her!

You tube for nursery rhyme help.

You are not a shit mum! Not at all sure knowing all the words to Incy Wincy is a parenting requirement!

You're doing a great job mama! Don't worry so much. Also, I'm 36 years old and if you think I remember any nursery rhymes you are mistaken. I also work full time so that makes it even worse for me! I just watch YouTube videos with my 17 month old and learn the nursery rhymes along with her.

You aren't a rubbish mum! Baby groups are wierd places, and i doubt anyone thought anything of it!
many 11 months old aren't crawling butI would ask your health visitor about the not bearing weight thing

Trust me as soon as she gets mobile, you'll be wishing she'd just stay still for a minute.

I had to relearn nursery rhymes as most of the versions I could think of had been adapted whilst I was in junior school e.g

Mary had a little lamb
She tied it to a pylon
40,000 volts shot up its arse
And turned its wool to nylon

(Maybe you shouldn't sing that one at the music group )

What were the nursery rhymes? I can probably fill you in, I've got near perfect recall of song lyrics fuck all else though

Have you had the one year checkup yet? Raise it if you're worried, but I bet it'll be fine. It all depends on their own wee personalities and what they get interested in - my DDs started crawling and then all progress stopped dead when they found the stairs and spent 2 months working out how to crawl up and down them - a piece of information I declined to share with the HV though, she'd have had a fit

You're definitely not a shit mum. My DS is 1 next week. He also isn't interested in crawling or walking. Whenever I lay him on his front he rolls to his back, if he's on his back he just spins in circles. I have worried about it constantly, but both the GP and paediatrician are not worried. You should not be worried either.
Just be happy that when you leave your DD in one place she will stay where she is. You're not having to chase after her everywhere all the time. I can plonk DS down on his play mats, go get lunch and come back and he is in the same place.

Youtube - that's what you want for nursery rhymes!

Don't beat yourself up - it was your first time there.

My baby is 11 months nearly and I hated them time.
I usually skip that bit and meet other mums for the coffee that follows.

I don't know the words or actions at all. We sat trough a few.

I'd rather sing random made up songs back at home, or the one nursery rhym I know on repeat all day.

Mine has only just started crawling and there's lots his age who aren't yet and some who are walking. It's hard not to compare but try not to.

I'd think you were normal! Most people can't remember the songs from childhood so have to relearn them when they're adults (surely!?). I don't go to many classes so have had to Google them. I think at that age you can encourage kids to do stuff but if they don't want to walk or crawl then they won't. One of mine didn't crawl or walk til late and was obsessed about eating dirt from carpets. Seems to have turned out OK so far (she's 3 now).

My mum has eight children and still goes down her children's name scale from eldest to youngest until she get's to mine. I find it quite endearing.

My youngest walked at 11 months, one month younger than his siblings - I was holding out for another month to be honest. Walking small ones are a nightmare!

You are a great mum.

If it helps mine are well past CBeebies (8-10) and I can do all the words for Bob the Bloody Builder - still. Yet DC had a poetry competition and neither knew the Old Woman who swallowed a fly so youngest thought it was a proper poem no one knew

classic shit parenting.

I'm not even sleep deprived.

Nope I wouldn't think you are shit by the very fact that you are trying. Don't worry that you don't know the nursery rhymes.....really, who cares. I always find these over zealous type mums a bit weird! Both of my kids were slow walkers. My DD walked at around 13 months and ds way later around 18 months....and he never crawled...just sat, then walked. They're 16 and 15 yo now....she's trying to be a doctor and he wants to be an engineer. Don't worry about the ryhmes but do try and get your kids into books!

You're doing just fine. Some babies skip the crawling stage and go straight to walking. Give yourself a break.

I took my 15 month (at the time) dd to a play group once. It said up to 18 months on the website but my dd was head and shoulders above the rest and the only one walking, they were all 6-9 months old and sat very nicely cooing adorably while their mummy's gazed on lovingly. DD rampaged through that place like a baby Godzilla. Sat, fully clothed, in the water play thingy and splashed about like Poseidon. We had to borrow a set of clothes to come home in. I knew none of the rhymes and I'm rubbish at that sort of 'organised fun' they have at some groups. Trust me I would not have noticed you or thought you were a shit mum. I'd be too busy trying to stop my child re-enacting water world.

Plenty of time for crawling/walking etc. Nursery rhymes you can learn. You are not a shit mum.

This exactly describes me and one of my twins, who will eat anything he finds on the floor. They’re 19 months (although he can walk, but only started at 16 months)

do you really think if anyone thought you were a shit mum they would actually say so on here? you're fishing for attention so I will give it to you .... no you aren't a shit mum.

End of thread.