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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Royal wedding/kid's party clash

210 replies

royalweddingfan · 30/04/2018 07:33

A major first world problem to start off your week. And many of you will think this is ridiculous because the royal family are pointless, a drain on our taxes, etc etc. I get that.

But I'm shamelessly a big fan.

I've accepted an invite for my DCs to attend a 7 year old's birthday party over lunchtime on 19 May. We are very close to the family, me and the mum in particular. It's a given that the whole family would go.

But I want to watch all the TV coverage and see Harry and Meghan get wed!!

AiBU to be in a bind? Is it rude if I don't go and let DH take them?! WWYD?

OP posts:

RandomlyChosenName · 30/04/2018 08:16

What's the problem with you DH taking your 7 year old to the party and dropping them off anyway. That seems normal whatever your reason.

YouStacey · 30/04/2018 08:17

The cake alone is costing £57,000 - not sure if that includes the cost of the pearls with which it is to be decorated.

Charley50 · 30/04/2018 08:26

I thought they were paying for the wedding 'themselves' but the taxpayer is paying for the extra policing?
Just explain it to you friend OP and stay home.

pigmcpigface · 30/04/2018 08:31

If she's a close friend, presumably she knows that you're excited about the royal wedding. Can you not ask whether the adults can have it on TV, while the kids play?

pigmcpigface · 30/04/2018 08:31

£57k for a cake?! You can get a mahoosive chocolate one in Costco for £9.

LetItGoToRuin · 30/04/2018 08:33

A friend’s DC also has a party at the same time as the wedding, and another child’s mum is not going to the party for the same reason. Us three mums are friends, and this ‘wedding’ mum simply explained, somewhat apologetically, that she’d be sending her children to the party with their father so she could stay home and watch the wedding. The host mum and I both thought this was fine! As we’re all close friends there are plenty of other occasions for catch-ups!

I think you should just talk to the mum about it. If she’s a close friends of yours, surely she’ll understand. It’s unlikely to be a big deal, surely?

BarbaraofSevillle · 30/04/2018 08:34

Are the people (members of the public) who are going to the wedding going to get some of the cake as a souvenier? Are they doing party bags? That might explain the £57k.

Costco cakes are revolting btw, I'd rather have no cake than any of the additive laden shite they produce.

OP, get a grip. As a PP says, the wedding will dominate the news and the papers in the following days. Just watch it on catch up later in the day.

QuoadUltra · 30/04/2018 08:36

Discuss it with your friend. Laugh about it but stand firm! No way would I miss out on an important event that I was looking forward to wedding/Bake Off final/Olympics Opening for a 7yo party.

And, yes, this is real time essential.

Mountainsoutofmolehills · 30/04/2018 08:42

do what you want.

Get your DH to drop the kids off. Make an excuse. Please yourself. I realised that's what others do in life..... don't be a doormat. You're writing on Mumsnet about it. It clearly is bothering you. also there will be street lunches etc, what a strange time for a kids birthday party.

mydietstartsmonday · 30/04/2018 08:43

She might be willing to have an adults only room and have it on the telly!

Original poster

royalweddingfan · 30/04/2018 08:47

It's not a drop and go party and if it was a DC school friend then the answer would be an easy "I'm staying at home" but this is an old family friend so the expectation is we all stay and catch up with everyone especially as everyone now lives in different places and we don't get to catch up as much.

But you can see why I asked the question - there are many that think I'm being ridiculous (can watch on catch up, it's a stupid thing to want to watch anyway) and that would be offended in my friend's shoes.

Just wanted to test the water and I'm relieved to discover that the majority see where I'm coming from

OP posts:

pasturesgreen · 30/04/2018 08:47

YANBU at all. Send DH without any qualms.

Disclaimer: I'm also hosting a royal wedding party so may be a tad more invested than most in the whole thing

ReanimatedSGB · 30/04/2018 08:47

Is the birthday kid's mum someone you know well and get on well with? If so, she's probably aware that you are a fan of the Windsor parasites and won't be hurt or cross if you just tell her you want to watch this heteronormative, expensive guff all day.

Of course, she may say that they will have the telly on for those interested, but hopefully she'll have more sense, because the kids are unlikely to give a toss and it would be rough on the birthday girl to have her party taken over by adults watching the fucking telly - all the kids being told to Shh at the 'important bits', and games stopped or interrupted because some inbred knob has just appeared in a new hat or whatever.

If your friend will understand, then let your H take the kids to the party. If your friend won't understand, is she likely to think that you are a bit of a sad twat but not be too bothered, or is she likely to be angry enough and hurt enough for it to affect your friendship? (Some people would be angry and hurt that a supposed good friend is more interested in watching the fucking telly than spending time with them).

If it's the second option, then I suggest you either suck it up and go to the party, or have a strategic migraine or something rather than tell your friend the truth.

ReanimatedSGB · 30/04/2018 08:49

It's not a 'strange time to have a kid's birthday party'. Plenty of people don't give a flying fuck about the royals, or about any other celebrity - at least not to the extent of compromising their own lives or their kids' lives.

WowIFreelStrange · 30/04/2018 08:50

lol my son's birthday is the 19th May. we're also throwing a big party. no way will I cancel the party for his birthday.

kids will be outside on bouncy castle. I'll put the wedding on the t.v in the lounge in case any adults want to watch it. I very much doubt any of them will though

Knitjob · 30/04/2018 08:51

Can the other mum not just put the tv on for you? Presumably you can chat and watch at the same time?

Littlechocola · 30/04/2018 08:53

Go to the party dressed as the queen and pretend you are at the wedding. Call the birthday girl Meghan and keep telling her how wonderful it is to be gaining a new member of the family.
That way you get to do both (or your friend will send you home to have a lie down and you get to watch the wedding). Winner.

TSSDNCOP · 30/04/2018 08:56

Your friend isn’t going to have many adult women their, send DH.

I’ll be glued to the TV, no way I’m missing a single second. I have friends coming to wear hats for the ceremony, then we are having a street party. I already have my bunting and I’m working on lemon and elderflower cupcakes.

If you aren’t a royal family fan I can see why you’d think this was but for those that are it’s good big to be a really fun day.

MilkTrayLimeBarrel · 30/04/2018 08:58

I'd love to have the excuse of going to a birthday party to avoid this wedding drivel!

Original poster

royalweddingfan · 30/04/2018 08:59

No TV as the party is not at home, it's at a typical kids party venue.

I think I'm going to have to come clean and just say I'm sorry but I'm a Royal wedding loser. She does know this anyway to be fair.

OP posts:

bridgetreilly · 30/04/2018 09:01

I don't really understand why you accepted the invitation. The date of the wedding has been fixed for ages. The time to think about this was when you were invited, not now it's in the diary.

formerbabe · 30/04/2018 09:02

kids will be outside on bouncy castle. I'll put the wedding on the t.v in the lounge in case any adults want to watch it. I very much doubt any of them will though

They totally will want to watch it.. your living room will be jam packed!

GreenMeerkat · 30/04/2018 09:03

Would your DCs be upset if they missed out? I have a kids' party to attend on 19th May and is LOL doll themed so my DDs would never forgive me if we didn't go for me to watch TV (that's how they'd see it)

Dahlietta · 30/04/2018 09:04

I was actually incredulous this morning to find out that it is going to be live on the TV so you can probably guess where I stand on the whole affair. However, I would actually understand that you really wanted to watch it and wouldn't be offended if you didn't come. Isn't it FA Cup final day?

joystir59 · 30/04/2018 09:04

This is a child you are planning to do the dirty on. Not good imo. Watch the wedding the following day on catch up

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