To wonder how I can deal with DH being away for 6 months

[sahknowme]

So my partner is starting a contract for 6 months abroad. It's in Denmark, and he will be flying back every weekend, but I'm not sure how to deal with everything. I work from 8 til 4, 4 days a week, and my 1 year old goes to nursery 3 days a week. This will have to increase to 4 days.

His job pays enough to hire some help, but I'm worried I won't cope. I'm thinking I can do the drop off before work, if I can find someone to do the pick up. I'll have someone to come in to do the cleaning. Now I need to work out how to arrange food, as DH does all of the cooking.

Does anyone have tips for how to deal with this, or AIBU to ask him not to go?

You will cope because you have to. I mean that in a positive way. You will get into a routine and soon enough you’ll be coping just fine. Flying back every weekend is amazing. Forces families will get two weeks out of that six months, which always turns into seven months. Good luck OP just stay positive. And maybe lots of wine to help on those shitty days.

If you have a cleaner, arrange a weekly food delivery and you'll be fine, there's not much else to do on top of that.... If you don't want to cook, get a hot lunch while at work and do cheese on toast/beans on toast/soup for tea. Put a wash on twice a week...jobs a good in.

You definitely need help. I would look for someone to do the drop off if at all possible and also find one of those small businesses which do a week's or more worth of home cooked frozen meals. They're often great...you can find them on Facebook.

We found a wonderful lady who does vegetarian meals by the pack...beautiful food, she delivers as many as you need and posts a new menu weekly.

Also a cleaner.

My DH worked away for a while and didn't get back every weekend and we were fine.

he will be back every weekend? really that sounds nice. just do what you want to do weekly surely

Oh ffs give over. Try working for the emergency services or NHS or armed forces or even self employment. Home every wkend, Mon - Fri working with only one DC AND help. Sounds like an absolute dream.

You tell yourself you are a strong, capable, independent woman and you have got this.

Organise yourself some mid week company, get a friend round for a film or a takeaway. My husband used to be away a lot and as fab as my son is, you sometimes need some adult chat in an evening. You will be fine.

Bless you, you'll be fine. I'm an army wife with four children. Try doing 7 months with your youngest being 3 weeks old, husband in Afghan and living in Germany 700 miles from family. Believe me you won't want to share the remote control when he's back. It is worrying if youve never done it before but you'll adjust really quickly. Good luck

Been doing this for 7 years with twins, no help and full time work. You'll manage.

You and/or your DH could batch cook at a weekend once a month to sort several meals a week. Figure out some quick things you can do yourself - stir fry, pasta pesto, omelette etc. You’ll be fine.

You will be fine! You'll barely have to cook anything anyway. I'd live on toast and wine during the week.

Ex forces wife here... you'll be fine!
I had 4 kids aged 2-7 last time DH was on detachment, and was commuting on a bloody motorbike to get to my job on time after drop off! No cleaner or family around.
I just got on with it. You will too, and you'll have your DH at home at weekends so catching up with food shop and house stuff should be ok.

Warning... you get USED to them being away!!! I used to get quite irritated when DH pitched up with a ton of kit disturbing my routine

It will be ok :)

OP you will be fine, thousands of people manage this everyday without hired help. Why do you need to find someone to pickup? Surely if you finish at 4 this gives you plenty of time? Cooking for you and a one year old will be easy. Don't stress

When DH was away I did quickneasy meals

Slow cooker would do 4/5 portions and freeze for the next week
Cheese on toast
Beans /eggs
Baked potatoes etc

How much mess does one person make in a week? I mean a quick whizz round the kitchen and a wash in won't take long will it?

To be honest, this sounds like a dream compared to my routine but understand you are apprehensive. Surely Nursery is open until 6 at least though ? Agree with others that it makes sense to eat your main meal during the day. I know plenty of people who would prefer to fly solo during the week! You might get to love it!

Au pair?

you can afford to get help, so get help.
Seriously... help with nursery runs and cleaning. Sounds like a dream to many people.

Try to cook some simple, healthy meals so DC isn't eating crap like beans on toast every night of the week.

Finally.... Enjoy your weekends and think yourself lucky you're not a forced wife/single mum!

*forces. Apologies.

Seriously, single parents do this all week every week, it's not that hard!!!

Honestly OP you’ll be fine. I think it’s natural to be nervous if you’re not used to it but you’ll get used to it much quicker than you’d imagine. Make sure you use weekends to have some time to yourself sometimes.

Isnt nursery open until 6 or something? If it is can’t you do pick up on your way home?

Cooking doesn’t need to be anything complex - jacket potatoes, soups, pasta , even freezer stuff and you could batch cook and freeze stuff like lasagne / pies / etc, maybe invest in a slow cooker for casseroles and stews with minimal effort?

you'll be fine..

Ummm how'd you think single parents cope?
Most don't have the luxury of affording help plus frozen meals delivered to save cooking.

I don't understand the problem. Do you have health issues that make things difficult for you?

You don’t know how you’ll cope WITH nursery, additional childcare, a cleaner, a healthy budget and a spouse there at weekends??

Seriously?

What do you think single parents on tiny wages do?

X post with everyone

Plenty of spare time to learn to cook :)