To wonder how I can deal with DH being away for 6 months

[sahknowme]

So my partner is starting a contract for 6 months abroad. It's in Denmark, and he will be flying back every weekend, but I'm not sure how to deal with everything. I work from 8 til 4, 4 days a week, and my 1 year old goes to nursery 3 days a week. This will have to increase to 4 days.

His job pays enough to hire some help, but I'm worried I won't cope. I'm thinking I can do the drop off before work, if I can find someone to do the pick up. I'll have someone to come in to do the cleaning. Now I need to work out how to arrange food, as DH does all of the cooking.

Does anyone have tips for how to deal with this, or AIBU to ask him not to go?

I have been in my own with my son when my husband has sometimes worked away (though not for as long but a few periods of a week and once for 10 days). Our son has been 3-4 years. I work full time too.

Honestly, it really is fine. You mention in laws - can they drop off baby at nursery just to make the morning less rushed?

Evening should be ok if nursery is open until 6 and you finish at 4 as you would still get there for 5pm?

I planned simple meals for evenings to cut down on cooking time and took DS out for tea one night to break things up.

I found I kept in top of housework because we were out all day and I did a bit when DS was in bed.

Honestly you really will be fine once you have done a few days and get into the routine.

As everyone said 'you will be fine'. You might even like having the tv to yourself during the week . Tbh you will probably just be getting into the swing when the 6 months are up

When DH had to do 4 years of 2 weeks in South Africa, 2 weeks here (travelling meant he had 1 weekend "at home" a month and DPILs wanted to see him too, over 2 hours away, which meant going for the weekend frequently).

I was working FT, DD had just started school. We got an au pair to do mornings (1 hour from me leaving to DD getting in to school, 10 minutes walk at her pace - I'd often get her up before I left), and collect from the after school club twice a week (at 5, but a good 30 minutes walk home), and also do about 2-3 hours cleaning a week. Theoretically she did 2 nights babysitting as well but we rarely used that (even me alone).

It meant I had some company, I didn't need to panic if the trains were delayed from work to collect DD on my nights. I still got to work on time in the mornings. We had different girls over the 4 years but almost all were good (1 was not keen on childcare and 1 was too young really). But we also did it through an agency, and part of their contract meant they had English classes twice a week - which also meant they made friends and tended to disappear at weekends to do things with those friends (so not living in my pocket) although we took them on trips to our families and on weekends away as well as part of our family.

DD and I had 2 routines - while Daddy was away and while Daddy was home. Just some things were a bit more lax while he travelled and others I had to be stricter on to keep it together.

It was hard work, but once we were organised, it went ok. Planned meals I. Advance, kept on top of washing and drying clothes so we could always find clean ones even if not yet folded and put away, housecleaning standards were more of the "generally neat and tidy, kitchen always clean" than spotless house etc. But it was do-able.

@Queenofthestress a lot of mothers in relationships haven't been away from the father of the child for more then a few nights or even a whole night in the first year of the babies life!! That's normal!!

As so many have said single parents do this day in day out.

So you've never had to cope on your own for a few days but now you will. It's all down to routine and planning

I've done it since DS was a newborn and he's just become a teen. DD was 6 at the time I went back to Ft work when DS was 4 months old so I'm struggling to see your issue. Not offence meant but to work only 4 days and have another parent at weekends would seem like I'd won the lottery!

Has he started yet? How are you getting on?