Ok so this is feels like quite an awkward situation... We have a neighbor who lives the opposite end of our cul de sac who on 3 occasions this week while I have been at work in the evenings has knocked (loudly) on our door wanting my other half to go to her flat and help her out with some things. I will explain these but first I should mention that this woman has cerebral palsy so it makes me feel mean to be making an issue out of it.
Wednesday night at 9.45pm she banged on the door waking my oh and 2 of my 3 children up (my oh has to be up for work at 2am so it is an inconvenience waking him up at that time and also the kids as they have school) He’s gotten up stuck a pair of shorts on and ran down the stairs wondering what’s going on coz the knocking was loud. It was the lady asking him to go and change her lightbulb for her as it had blown and she couldn’t do it. As she asked she told him he didn’t need to put his top on for it and laughed. My oh agreed (put his coat on) and said he would have to be quick as the kids had woken up and he didn’t want to leave them here alone for long. Tbh this reason alone wound me up thinking my kids have woken up and he’s just left them, the house is barely in sight from her flat. He’s got there the light bulb is in her bedroom, as they’ve walked in she’s pushed the bedroom door too behind them, he’s changed the bulb and she’s made another comment about him taking his coat off again laughing. He’s responded he needs to get back to the boys and awkwardly moved past her out of the bedroom and then out of the front door.
Thursday evening at 10.05 pm she again has banged on the door waking him up, he’s suspected it would be her so this time got fully dressed and answered the door, and again she’s said she has a problem with another bulb. None of the children woke this time so he said he would go but will have to be quick (he’s not the type to say no to helping people) as they’ve walked to her flat she has said it’s a shame he was dressed tonight! He’s laughed it off and gone inside and looked at her hallway bulb, it hadn’t blown was just loose and needing tightening to work, as he’s left she has said thanks sexy.... he’s ignored her and got home ASAP. Again this has annoyed me before any other reason him leaving the kids but also this time that she seems to be being a bit suggestive and my oh has stated it’s made him feel uncomfortable. I told him to ignore the door if she knocks again.
Last night the door bangs again at 9.30 waking him up, he stopped in bed attempting to ignore it but it woke all 3 of my children up (to point out they are 3,5 and 6!!) so they’ve all started running up and down the stairs which are on full view of the front door and where this lady is standing. So oh has gotten up and answered the door, this time her kitchen cupboard handle had come off, he said he would look at it in the morning when he’s home but she said she was desperate for a drink and her juice was In this cupboard. He’s grabbed his screwdrivers which he keeps on our hallway shelves and this time took the kids with him, thinking it avoids leaving them and also made him feel more comfortable that he wasn’t going alone. When he got there the whole handle hadn’t come off just the bottom screw, she could still open her cupboard if she had needed to. She said to my children that their daddy is very handsome.... they all giggled and my oh kept his head down and left ASAP with the kids.
Now again it’s not convenient waking my oh up and the children, it’s certainly not appropriate them being left alone in the house at that time of night and also her comments are pretty inappropriate too especially when it’s making my oh feel uncomfortable. We only moved here 7 months ago, she doesn’t know us very well, and from what I have been told by a neighbor she is friendly with a few of the people who live in her block of flats so it appears she does have other people to ask. I mentioned this to a work friend who is also a part time carer locally and she said she is aware of this woman as there have been 2 complaints made by male carers as she has basically sexually harassed them when they would visit her, there is now something in place that only female carers are allowed to attend to her. I have also seen her stood in the middle of the street in a nurses outfit welcoming a man who she’s then taken in to her flat. (Which is fine we all do it but probably not so publicly and inappropriately, I was washing my car with my youngest son at the time) I’ve also had another neighbor when we moved in make a comment about her being a bit of a man eater and for my oh to not go in her flat. So she’s definitely that way inclined which again is fine each to their own but it’s not acceptable making people like my oh feel uncomfortable when he just wants to be helpful. Obviously I’m at work and my car isn’t on the drive so I’m assuming she can see I’m not there. So far tonight she hasn’t knocked on the door and I’m wondering wether she will if she can see I’m here?!
So aibu to speak to either her or her mum who visits most days and explain about my oh having to be up for work, and her knocking disturbing the kids and ask that she doesn’t keep knocking? I don’t want to seem unhelpful or unsympathetic to her situation but it is before anything an inconvenience. I know I sound like I’ve mentioned the inappropriate side of things a lot but I wouldn’t want to get into a situation where perhaps she reads more into my oh being just helpful. If I’m here il go and help her, I’m a dab hand at diy so that would just solve that issue. I don’t want to seem horrible or like I’m discriminating her in anyway and of course would be as nice as I can about it. It’s just been a strange few evenings for my oh and he’s shattered bless him, my kids are also a bit thrown by this lady knocking on the door the last few nights. AIBU??