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Original poster

That many people believe they are pro choice but are not

555 replies

winterstail · 28/04/2018 15:32

My understanding of pro choice is that you support a woman's right to terminate a pregnancy.

Many people claim to be pro choice but then express shock at the reason a woman chooses to terminate.

This isn't pro choice then, is it?

OP posts:
timeisnotaline · 28/04/2018 15:58

It is hardly fair to limit your definition of pro choice to people who think that abortion is a suitable substitute for contraception whcih is basically what you are saying. There is a large middle ground. I support it for medical reasons , inability to cope or fund a child, not being in a (suitable) relationship but not simply for eg oops we are happily married and can afford it but don’t feel like it right now.

SoyDora · 28/04/2018 15:58

Yes I’ve seen ‘I’m pro choice but’ a lot on here. Of course it’s complex, and many people don’t have a ‘pro choice’ or ‘pro life’ stance.
I’m 100% pro choice as the alternative is a baby being brought into the world that for whatever reason, is unwanted.

TotHappy · 28/04/2018 15:58

What about... Because it's a girl and i wanted a boy? Would you still think, well it's up to her, it's her body? I think we all do judge, and rightly, even if we ultimately say it's for the woman concerned to decide.

kissthealderman · 28/04/2018 15:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kettlan · 28/04/2018 15:59

My views on abortion don't prevent me from realising that's it's not black and white. Whatever I think personally doesn't stop me from respecting people should have a choice.

You can express shock at something and still respect that it's their decision.

NotTakenUsername · 28/04/2018 16:02

My understanding of pro choice is that you support a woman's right to terminate a pregnancy.

Correct.

Many people claim to be pro choice but then express shock at the reason a woman chooses to terminate.

Correct - one can defend another’s rights and also judge a person for their actions based on those rights.

This isn't pro choice then, is it?
Wrong. It IS pro choice. Being pro choice isn’t about your personal feelings on abortion. It’s about your personal feeling on a persons right to access an abortion.

LongWavyHair · 28/04/2018 16:04

It really fucks me off when people say "I don't agree with abortion but it's every woman's choice". You either agree with it or you don't. There is no in between. Stop trying to make yourself look all nice and understanding whilst at the same time telling us how pro life you are. You're NOT both.

RebelRogue · 28/04/2018 16:05

I am pro choice.
First of all that means I support a woman's right to have a baby,to have an abortion or to put the baby up for adoption.
Secondly, I believe a woman has a right to that choice whenever. I might not agree with the choice, I might judge in certain cases or disagree, but I still want that woman to have a choice.

SweetSummerchild · 28/04/2018 16:05

What about... Because it's a girl and i wanted a boy?

As SoyDora said, I’d personally rather a baby was terminated on the grounds of sex than forced on parents that didn’t want her. Having seen the way unwanted girls are treated compared to their much more wanted younger brothers, I think termination would have been kinder.

I would retain the right to (privately) think the parents were CFs,, but the choice should be the mother’s. Sadly, my guess is would be more likely to be the fatehr’s.

IHaveBrilloHair · 28/04/2018 16:06

I had one at 23 weeks, for 'social', reasons.
Being suicidal didn't feel very social to me but there you go.
It was a horrible, but necessary procedure which was done in a clinic and though that was all they did, they weren't nice, or friendly, or comforting, I was treated like a nasty, naughty schoolgirl on a conveyor belt, it was shit. There were two nice people, the anaethstatist and the cook.
No one does this for fun, or without thought, and it stays with you forever.

Cornettoninja · 28/04/2018 16:06

I support terminations up to 20 weeks for any reason and beyond for medical reasons.

I do find the idea of someone using terminations as contraception distasteful but it's not a pleasant procedure to put yourself through and I wonder about their mental health tbf.

I don't think it's any of my business what reason someone doesn't wish to go through pregnancy or raise a child. The fact that they don't is enough to convince me.

Children sitting on social services case files are enough evidence that sometimes it really is best for everybody if women have the ability to opt out even after conception has taken place.

'Don't have sex unless you want a baby' is a ridiculous, misogynistic statement designed to effectively punish a woman for daring to have sex for pleasure.

Children should be a joy not a punishment. It's sadistic to use children as a weapon in that way.

RebelRogue · 28/04/2018 16:08

@TotHappy judging is not the same as wanting that right taken away or imposing conditions on it.

OhThisAgain · 28/04/2018 16:08

Regarding poverty, what about the woman who is in a dire situation wrt to finances but would love the baby? Does her inability to afford the child mean that the baby should be aborted? Why do we have to abort in the UK due to finances? Genuine question.

JessicaJonesJacket · 28/04/2018 16:09

I agree with NotTaken you're conflating two different approaches and don't seem to understand what pro-choice means. You're assuming being supportive (ie pro) means unconditionally. That's your assumption rather than the definition of the terms.

pandamonium88 · 28/04/2018 16:09

I would be able to be pro choice if people didn't use termination as a lazy form of birth control, because that makes my piss boil.

IHaveBrilloHair · 28/04/2018 16:09

I hate when women say, "I d never have an abortion but".
It's like saying, "I'm better than you but"
Actually you aren't.
Not having an abortion doesn't make you a better person, it means you were in the lucky position not to need one.

dworky · 28/04/2018 16:10

I'm pro women having choice in regard of their own bodies, whatever the reason.

LongWavyHair · 28/04/2018 16:10

Why do we have to abort in the UK due to finances? Genuine question

Nobody has to abort due to finances. But for some it is a very good reason to them and nobody should be questioning them about it. If you wouldn't abort due to finances then good for you you don't have to.

RebelRogue · 28/04/2018 16:10

@pandamonium88 that gets thrown in on every thread about th topic. How many women do you know that actually do that and more than once?

BewareOfDragons · 28/04/2018 16:11

Late stage abortions are almost exclusively for medical reasons. If people think that late term abortions are frequently had by those who just don’t want a baby, then they don’t understand the reality of the process or the statistics.

Exactly this.

A very close family member had two abortions. While I was sad, because she'd make a brilliant mother if it was just her, she was in abusive relationships and it was the right decision both times. And even if it wasn't, I would support her and defend her right to choose to do so each and every time.

I have had two friends who have had to take heartbreaking decisions late in pregnancies due to genetic testing that showed the babies wouldn't live long after birth. Utterly heartbreaking, but the option to terminate, as they did, was essential.

It is no one else's business. Choice belongs to the individual woman.

SoyDora · 28/04/2018 16:12

Does anyone on here actually know people who use abortion(s) as a ‘lazy form of birth control’? I don’t.

YayImALlamaAgain · 28/04/2018 16:12

I agree with you. I’ve already seen many people on this thread say ‘I’m pro-choice but with caveats’ - either you are allowing each individual woman to make any choice she wishes about her body or you deciding the terms in which the choice is made - it can’t be both.

I am pro-choice. I would possibly (but maybe not) judge a woman for aborting as contraception (though I do not actually believe that happens) but I still support that woman’s choice to do so. THAT is pro choice.

kissthealderman · 28/04/2018 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pandamonium88 · 28/04/2018 16:13

@RebelRogue, what a silly question. I'm sure I've got friends who have had abortions and haven't told me about it. I mean, why would they tell me something so very intimate like that? They could if they wanted to but abortion is most often something kept between the woman and the father, or by just the woman.

formerbabe · 28/04/2018 16:14

I'm pro choice.

I absolutely can't stand those who describe themselves as 'pro life except in instances rape/incest'. Surely if you believe life begins at conception then the circumstances of that conception are irrelevant. I have more respect for those people who are pro life in all circumstances. Those who are pro life except in rape cases basically just want to punish women who dared to willingly have sex and god forbid, enjoy it too. A resulting pregnancy and forced birth are a rightful punishment in their eyes.

As it stands, the only people I've ever known who are pro life are either religious people or rather uneducated people.