To be so tired of how people treat adults with allergies?

[T2517]

I have a severe peanut allergy, have done since toddler hood and am now 26. Over the last few years my allergy has become more of a problem than ever.

People are so selfish it actually blows my mind - there have been times when I ask nicely (I’m shy and anxious generally) if peanuts could be moved away from me because I could literally die breathing them in and I always get a horrible response. I don’t get if - I don’t do this for fun, I could literally die. I always move away from peanuts if I see them but sometimes this isn’t possible.

I am terrified that one day I will die because someone can’t be bothered to not eat peanuts. I hate flying because I always hear comments on the plane about how nobody can be that allergic to nuts etc. I am the last person to kick up a fuss and I hate asking people not to. I just don’t understand why people are so hostile about allergies?! It feels dramatic to say but sometimes it feels like people don’t care about your life. I’m not talking about it in food etc because restaurants and stuff have been super helpful I just mean airborne allergies and people not understanding.

I have to book a flight soon and I’m terrified. I don’t expect anyone to never eat peanuts again but just to understand that it isn’t easy to live with an allergy like this. I would give anything to be normal.

You're unlikely to outgrow a peanut allergy, OP. I'm 53 and have been allergic to peanuts for over 50 years. Hard to tell if the allergy has changed; what has changed is how easy peanuts are to avoid. I have had one reaction in the last decade and that was due to carelessness on my part (tasted a dish my daughter ordered in a Giraffe restaurant in London - fortunately it was the branch just down the road from the Royal Free hospital).

It is normal to feel panicky when you are having or think you may be having a reaction, and this can make symptoms feel worse. Peanut smell makes me feel ill but I think this is mostly psychosomatic in my case.

I do think that the extent to which your allergy limits your lifestyle is more to do with anxiety than allergy. I have made some "lifestyle limiting" choices, like never going into Indian or Asian restaurants (except Japanese), because in my opinion, the risk of peanut exposure makes it just not worth the bother when there are safer food choices. But never getting on a plane because of a very small risk of peanut exposure (that could be handled with appropriate treatments in the unlikely event of a reaction) is an anxiety problem not an allergy problem.

I do use planes I would just rather not if I have other options. Last flew about six months ago and saw someone preparing to open a big bag of yellow m&ms 😅 maybe I’ve just been unlucky, the time before that someone was eating a snickers before they made the annocument. Had a mild reaction but nothing terrible. I do understand I have anxiety but at the same time some airlines just aren’t helpful. EasyJet is my go to and I do feel safe there.

People are so inconciderate, glad you've given cbt a go, tbh I personally found it a little patronising but I like getting things written down on paper so works well for me. You can grow out allergies but they could come back any time. My sister grew out of her all her childhood food allergies (wheat-not gluten, eggs and nuts) only for the egg allergy to come back as a teenager. She had vomiting and acne but her gp wouldn't give her an allergy test so maybe it's intolerance. She was suggested instead a calorie increase diet but was upset and stressed as she had a friend with anorexia, I did once tease her about anorexia but now would never tease about weight. She never needed an epi pen, her imhailer was enough and now she's more healthy in her 20s. Mould and dust are the worst for her, aircon and dried air is another aeroplane issue.

There’s a feature on flying with peanut allergies on this morning today, I can’t watch it but will try and catch it later

My son is allergic to tree nuts and fish. I have one friend who is insistent he’s likely to only be allergic to river fish without anything to back this up. They’ve suggested I could try him on cod with his epipen at the ready 🤦🏼‍♀️

Some one I know has gone for gradual exposure treatment to cure him of bee sting allergy. He was warned that the treatment could cause a severe reaction and although they have epipens etc ready they have even had a death.
Doesn't make me want to seek exposure treatment for my DS.

I admit to having self-diagnosed allergies to crustaceans. Every time I've tried them (4 times since I was 12) I've broken out in massive hives and vomited repeatedly. So while I have no medical evidence, it's obvious that the cause of the hives and sudden illness is crustaceans. Last time I had them was because at a restaurant I was told my food did not contain crustaceans. When asked, the waiter "forgot to tell the chef" - but the menu already said it was bloody vegetarian, which I had ordered specifically to avoid the crustaceans!

It’s partly lack of education, lack of awareness, and the increase in made up allergies- and yes that’s a big thing. Work in health care. When checking allergies and asking reactions- many have juts either never had a certain medication because Mum decided they might be allergic, same with certain foods, or had a mild and normal reaction, but have decided to claim it as an allergy. Self diagnosis of allergies has over saturated the public and the belief that they are not as bad as made out. Conversely I have been involved and seen a 12 yr old recovering open heart massage to keep her alive after a severe anaphylaxis.

I have been on a couple of flights where there has been an announcement that there is a passenger with a severe nut allergy to remind passengers under no circumstances should they decide to open/tuck into peanuts or similar

We have severe nut allergy in our family. It’s very frustrating but to be honest I can understand it. For a start many people will have never seen an anaphylactic reaction, I doubt they realise it’s immediately life threatening. People who are unaware probably lump those who are severely allergic with the ‘this gives me a bit of a tummy ache’ brigade. I worked at a wedding recently and one of the guests told us he was allergic to dairy. We did him a special menu and when I went to explain exactly what he could and couldn’t have from the main platter on the table (the chorizo they were eating contained milk) I was surprised he had buttered his bread. He then explained he was ‘only half allergic and it would be fine’. The chefs reaction was ‘of course he is, that’s why I put butter in the mash anyway’. Was quite shocked as had he been truly allergic this could have been a serious error on the chefs part but unfortunately in this case he was right-again (it happens all the time in catering). People who don’t have proper allergies should stop referring to them as such and of course people should be more aware and educated.

Yes! I turned down a snack for my ds once and explained why, the lady said she knew how hard it was as she'd tried to give up gluten once 🙄

We did him a special menu and when I went to explain exactly what he could and couldn’t have from the main platter on the table (the chorizo they were eating contained milk) I was surprised he had buttered his bread.

He may have been lactose intolerant of course (in which case butter is fine) - but in fact people with a mild dairy allergy may tolerate some butter.

My DD was severely milk allergic as a baby. As is usually the case, her allergy diminished gradually and by age 6 her allergy consultant was recommending that we give her butter to develop her tolerance. (Butter is mostly fat so it contains far fewer milk proteins than cheese or yoghurt).

If you can eat butter you don't have an actual dairy allergy. You might have had one in the past, you might have a mild intolerance. You do not have a real allergy.

Feel a bit like this intolerance/allergy debate is going nowhere. I've had training sessions on anaphylaxis and allergic reactions range from cardiac arrest and dying to swelling, rashes, upset digestion, vomiting... There is lots of new research coming out, which I've not looking into in detail but as far as I'm aware the only way of knowing if it's an allergy or intollence is to get a blood test... Just a shame doctor's don't often do the blood test, then people would save a lot of anxiety and misconceptions... Lots of people with allergies wear an alert band, esspesally if they are unwell as medicines cause the most allergic reactions. Majority of people have a penicillin allergy, I work with a doctor with really good bedside manners who checks what they mean by allergy and reassures them the antibiotics or safer these days as they've normally had one bad reaction about 20 years ago. Antibiotics are the worst for autoimmune as bacteria keeps evolving and our immune systems often can't keep up. Warnings about antibiotics are plastered everywhere in doctors and hospitals thesse days.

Embracethechaos I've found it easy to get an allergy test for my DS and my 2 sisters also got into the local allergy clinic in the past easy enough too, was referred straight to them by their GPs. Never realised it is a problem to get a proper diagnosis? Surely people would want/need to know for certain so they can receive the best treatment etc?

Btw, does anyone on here know if you are allergic to diary, would the GP recommend that you down a litre of chocolate milkshake every day? I remember a housemate at university said she had a diary allergy but she was okay to have 1 litre of chocolate milkshake a day as that helped her build up tolerance and cheese didn't count either?

I never questioned her because its rude and its her choice etc. But I have always wondered if that was an actual thing?

No, if you have a dairy allergy you can't drink a litre of choc milk! She's full of shit.

if your allergy is so bad that you could die just by inhaling something, then flying on a plane with recycled air is not for you

The fuck?

MY Ds had CMPA (cows milk protein allergy) when he was a baby.

When he started weaning, I was meticulous at checking products. The amount of times my nan or MIL would say, oh give him a bit of chocolate. He's gotta get used to it was infuriating.

Luckily he outgrew his allergy at just over a year old. He's now 3 and has had one flare up.

I'm glad he's outgrown it because it was so difficult trying to explain that lactose free products were not suitable because it still contained cows protein. Some people really didn't get it

Btw, does anyone on here know if you are allergic to diary, would the GP recommend that you down a litre of chocolate milkshake every day? I remember a housemate at university said she had a diary allergy but she was okay to have 1 litre of chocolate milkshake a day as that helped her build up tolerance and cheese didn't count either

There's some truth in that you can sometimes build up tolerance having little bits of something (not something you should decide to just do by yourself though,only with doctors input)
A litre of milk though?! Yep, I'm going with the full of shit comment.

Should say my last post refers to intolerances, NOT allergies. There's a difference.

I got really cross with a friend of mine when out to dinner with her. She made a huge fuss over ordering gluten free and I spoke up and said 'just so you know, this is a dietary choice, not an allergy' and she glared at me.

I said to her "Do you have any idea of how difficult it is to cater for someone who is truly allergic? They have to make sure there is absolutely no cross contamination of products. It doesn't matter TO YOU if there are trace amounts of gluten. It won't affect YOU if a gluten free item touches a springe roll. Why would you want to make it harder for the restaurant when there is no need for it?" (We were at a Chinese restaurant).

Honestly, she hadn't given it any consideration at all. And so many people are like that.

It's absolute rubbish to say that if you can tolerate small amounts of a food you are "not allergic". Allergies are dose dependent (even nut allergies - the exposure threshold is just very low).

My DD was severely milk allergic for several years and mildly allergic for a period thereafter. Her allergy was mainly to the whey fraction so once she started to outgrow her allergy she tolerated butter well even when milk/ yoghurt still provoked a reaction.

I test as allergic to a number of foods that I can eat in moderation. Allergy isn't simple, and simplistic "well you're not allergic then" responses are not helpful.

I haven't been served peanuts on flights for years now - do airlines still serve them?

Also agree with the comments about people going on about their 'allergies' or 'intolerances' when it's dietary preference or feeling a bit bloated after overeating pasta makes it very challenging for people with real allergies.

I remember a friend with a self-diagnosed dairy intolerance refusing to take paracetamol for a headache (because of miniscule amount of mild powder in the coating) but then going on to eat a large ice cream!

The person who commented that on a flight there was someone with an allergy to nuts, wheat and dairy, meaning the poster / her family couldn't eat their snacks and no food could be served on the plane : surely the airlines are told in advance of medical issues and could have catered accordingly? Or do people just rock up on boarding and inform the staff of allergies?