To be so tired of how people treat adults with allergies?

[T2517]

I have a severe peanut allergy, have done since toddler hood and am now 26. Over the last few years my allergy has become more of a problem than ever.

People are so selfish it actually blows my mind - there have been times when I ask nicely (I’m shy and anxious generally) if peanuts could be moved away from me because I could literally die breathing them in and I always get a horrible response. I don’t get if - I don’t do this for fun, I could literally die. I always move away from peanuts if I see them but sometimes this isn’t possible.

I am terrified that one day I will die because someone can’t be bothered to not eat peanuts. I hate flying because I always hear comments on the plane about how nobody can be that allergic to nuts etc. I am the last person to kick up a fuss and I hate asking people not to. I just don’t understand why people are so hostile about allergies?! It feels dramatic to say but sometimes it feels like people don’t care about your life. I’m not talking about it in food etc because restaurants and stuff have been super helpful I just mean airborne allergies and people not understanding.

I have to book a flight soon and I’m terrified. I don’t expect anyone to never eat peanuts again but just to understand that it isn’t easy to live with an allergy like this. I would give anything to be normal.

@captain - try being Indian and being allergic to chilli! My poor nephew as been hospitalized thirty times already and he’s only 5!

Goodness Duchy I don't envy you that at all! It must be a nightmare!

I don't know if I'm a fake-allergy person or not. I know that I am definitely allergic to penicillin, but I don't know about the peanuts or the peas. Just the vapour that peas give off when they're cooking has sent me to hospital with restricted breathing. When I eat them my tongue and throat swell on the inside. It's the same with the peanuts. The doctors have said to avoid them but an allergy test when I was little only showed the penicillin, so I'm not quite sure what to think.

However, YADDDNBU. Someone won't die from not being able to eat peanuts on a plane/train/transport, but someone may die if they do.

They even have chilli chocolate captain fun all round!

I have a serious peanut allergy and fly a lot for my work. Tbh it's pretty rare for people to eat peanuts on a plane, I can't think of any time in the recent past that I have smelt "that smell" while flying. Packets of nuts served on board, at least on BA flights, do not contain peanuts.

Life as a peanut allergic person is 100 times easier now than it was 20 years ago and on the whole I find people reasonably understanding. (OTOH living with serious mustard allergy - which I also have - has become more complicated).

While I understand that living with a serious allergy necessarily requires hyper-vigilance, it sounds as if part of your issue is not just the allergy but your anxiety about it, and it might be worth talking to your doctor about this.

I had a close call with some of that Whittards chilli hot chocolate a while back Hadron. Someone had brought it to the church coffee morning as a treat. Luckily one of the ladies doing the drinks overheard me asking for it and told me what it was. I made them put the packet on the counter top so other people wouldn't be caught out!

Chilli allergy sounds like a nightmare ... worse than mustard!

OP re visiting countries, the US is perfectly safe for peanut allergy sufferers, as long as you're sensible. I wouldn't go to Thailand personally. I won't go into any restaurant serving Thai food, because of the contamination risk - it's just not worth it. Not a problem in Europe, might be somewhat problematic in Thailand ...

I agree that life is definitely easier - allergy labelling for a start is miles ahead of what it used to be. My anxiety is a problem i agree but I think it’s particularly bad about this because when I try to relax and think it won’t happens - it happens.

I’m going on a cruise soon and have contacted them to ask about what I can do if nuts are served in more than one place at once (in the past two or three restaurants have all had peanuts at the same time which doesn’t give me many options, and when I asked in the past they had no clue what I was talking about) and someone close to me thinks they might not let me travel if I make too big a deal of it so that’s made me even more anxious! I’m just asking to make a strategy, not to get them to stop serving nuts..

Ironically the adrenaline from anxiety probably stops very severe reactions, that's what the epi pen contains. It's a tricky one, must be so frustrating. I've done some cbt for anxiety, probably worth sitting down with a professional and working out how to cope living in a non nut free environment.

I can't have nuts and am careful abiut checking when eating out.
I made a recent thread about being allergic to dogs and many posters said it was tough and I should just not go places.
It's really hard

I'm allergic to alcohol.

If I eat or drink it even if it's mouthwash with alcohol, I begin to vomit, shake then have a seizure. I developed this allergy when I was an adult. It could be related to my many autoimmune conditions.

My aunt didn't believe me so decided to add a few drops of vodka to my drink at a family event. After I was taken unconcisous to hospital by ambulance she told my mum she still thinks it's not possible for a Scottish person to be allergic to alcohol. As though my Scottish genes could prevent it.

A peanut allergy isn't a nut allergy by the way. Two totally different things. But some people have both, some people have one of the other. Peanuts arent nuts, they're legumes.

Are you being treated for it? There are some very good allergy clinics at the moment who do progressive exposure or whatever it's called.

My aunt didn't believe me so decided to add a few drops of vodka to my drink at a family event.

Why the fuck do people DO things like that?! It makes me so mad, who the hell do they think they are?!
That's spiking. There should be some kind of law against doing this, surely it's attempted assault or something!
Fucking stupid, brainless idiots. If they put me at risk like that (got allergies myself but thankfully not alcohol - just the thought of being allergic to alcohol is enough to make me cry lol) it'd be the last time I'd go anywhere near them.
Rant over.

Your life is being ruined by fussy eaters who muddy the waters by talking about allergies, intolerances or what they “can’t” have when they really mean what they don’t like. It’s a real crisis when your serious condition is being hijacked by fusspots.

People think mine is hilarious (latex allergy that triggers my hands to swell, sever itching and an asthma attack). Balloons are everywhere (my dc are young and I can't expect other dc to not have balloons. I pretend it's fine because otherwise people think I'm a killjoy but asthma can kill and every reaction I've had the next is worst than the last. My last one scared me. Hoping to avoid another as it'll mean hospital.

But, I don't know or understand the ins and outs of other people's conditions so it's unfair to expect others to understand the severity unless I've explained it.

It should be a crime to give allergens to people with the knowledge it could kill them. It’s attempted manslaughter at the least if you KNOW it could kill them. Why can’t people mind their own bloody business, I’m so sorry that that happened. Alcohol is an optional thing anyway, would they spike a tee totaller or a recovering alcoholic?! Ridiculous.

I have had CBT but it didn’t work, I try and manage it myself but recently my food related anxiety has been particularly high. It’s hard because it feels like I don’t control it ultimately but hopefully it will pass. This thread has been very helpful because it makes me feel less alone

Oh and the pretend allergy brigade - my aunt is one with a few things but she eats “a little bit”

That sounds like an intolerance to me, not an allergy.
They're different.
For example - my egg allergy. Closes eyes up, throat goes scratchy, very ill and start to feel very sleepy.

My milk intolerance. I say I can't have milk as I can't. A glass of milk would give me severe stomach ache and sickness.
However, I'm alright with a bit of cheese. I'll have a little bit of cheese in say a slice of pizza. I have to know "my limits" though as it must build up in the system or something.
Few slices of pizza fine, maybe a cheese sandwich the next day.... all good. Bit of cheese every day for a few days though and I feel like crap.
So she probably does have problems with eating stuff, but people tend to usually understand allergies more than intolerances.

Now I could be a fake allergy person.

I have a mild food intolerance, the culprit gives me awful stomach ache for a few hours.

I do avoid it in large quantities, but I’m not going to make a huge fuss.

Im VERY careful to say it isn’t an allergy, just a mild inconvenience, if im not in polite company i joke about the explosive digestive effect. But I do worry about having the effect the OP is discussing, so I do downplay it.

Oh cady im exactly the same

I could have a pizza, but not ice cream as well.

Mine seems to depend on what else I have eaten too. It’s bloody odd.

Hi T2517
I was also going to ask if you suffer with anxiety... when were you last allergy tested? Also do you have an antihistamine to take at the first sign of a reaction.
My DS has a egg nut and dairy allergy, he travelled to Asia alone last year and survived.

jedenfalls strange, isn't it? Suppose it's hard for anyone who doesn't suffer from them, as they're strange and hard enough to work out when you suffer from them yourself!
I bet some people think "see,she's eating a slice of pizza, can't have milk, yeah right, faker!"
Could only have "a bit " though. Think it must be something to do with the process of making cheese that makes it OK for me to have, as I couldn't even attempt say a bowl of ice cream as too milky and would make me ill.

Was skin prick tested as a toddler, last blood tested about four years ago, last reaction about four years ago. Yes take an antihistamine as soon as I feel any signs eg itchy short of breath swollen mouth

The situation is not helped by the current fashion to be allergic to things instead of not liking them, and the faddy eating that has come about. It means that people with genuine allergies are lumped in with the faddy eaters and not taken seriously.

People in jobs and the establishments/companies that involve food should be educated as part of their training.

I do think the food industry is a bit to blame. They seem to cotton on to fads for a certain food or ingredient and then decide to put in everything. For example, Coconut has become very trendy over the past couple of years. There's now coconut in food product/existing range imaginable from cereal to ice-cream, to jam. It was the same with pomegranate when that got trendy and chia seeds. Now chilli is having a resurgence. Putting the same food in everything helps to increase allergies and likewise allergic reactions.

in every food product/range.