What made you leave him?

[Hackneey]

What was the last straw/light bulb moment?

When he screamed in my face that I was a 'cocksucking c*nt' for wanting to meet my friends for a drink on evening.

Yup, that did it.

Never looked back!!!

What's your situation, Hackneey?

He went away for a few days and I was gutted when he came back early.

I knew I couldn’t wake up there again the next morning so packed a bag and said I was off.

Slept well for the first time in a year.

When he refused to get me some paracetamol as I was laying on the sofa miscarrying a six week pregnancy. He then told me the miscarriage was my fault because I was a very negative person.

I hope you're okay op.

I'll go with my ex.
I travelled down south to see him, he took me on a date and then hit me.

He was very abusive. When I met current dp I was still with him scared to leave him

When he hit me in front of DS1 for the first time and DS1 (16 months old) screamed the house down. My lightbulb moment was it affecting my son.

When then 5yo DD called me a cunt and I realised that I wasn't protecting her by allowing her to see what went on. Left that very day and never looked back.

I can’t remember the final straw from him but I do remember a lovely mner quite bluntly pointing out that I was being abused emotionally, financially and lots of other ‘allys’. She asked did I love him and what would I think if my children were in similar relationships when they were older.

I loved her for it and have thanked her many times. She changed my life, or woke me up. It took a stranger on the internet.

Exh number 1- when he brought to my attention when dc had left home we would only need a bungalow... No way was I sticking around for that..
Exh number 2 when he raped me 2 weeks after having a dc.
Happy with my forever dh now!!

When I realised it would be harder to stay than leave
There had been thousands of 'final straws' though.

Are you ok op?

When he moaned about not getting a parking space because he was dropping me off to see my aunt in hospital, admitted that day and died the following week

When he put his fist through my DDs door in anger whilst arguing with her (she was 13 at the time) and I realised that our shitty relationship was being taken out on the kids.

A thread on here was my lightbulb moment. Very similar situation to my own and loads of great advice. I took that advice, told stbxh and 3 weeks later moved out. Haven't wavered since

Hope you're OK op x

Had a controlling abusive husband and lost my friends. My lightbulb moment was when he told me that my parents weren’t as good as I thought they were, said in a sneering manner. This hit me like a tonne of bricks as they most definitely were! I knew at that moment I had to get out. I left almost immediately.

When I realised I was happier when he wasn’t around. Another one was when I did an activity that was a massive physical push and something that I had wanted to do for ages (think: training and running a marathon) and he didn’t send me one message of support or wished me good luck

Seeing how happy another couple was, and knowing that we should both be that happy - which we weren’t together.

When he told me he wished my parents were dead.

When he refused to give me enough money to feed our daughter.

When he woke me up at 5am (I'd finished work at 2:30am) by saying "get up you fat slut".

No not really 😪. We just had a big row about money, I was in the kitchen cooking dinner. I didn't wanna argue in front of the DC so stopped talking to him and left the kitchen, he followed me around the house shouting. When he finally stopped, DS aged 5 asked him " why are you shouting daddy?" He said " because mummy's a bad person" my DS just looked at me and I'm in tears now. I know I have to make plans to leave. I hate him.

Yes, you have to leave him.

“You didn’t leave me money for food when you went to work”
“You didn’t deserve any”

That was mine Op. hope you’re ok.

Please leave him

Oh @Hackneey
You don’t have to live like this. Don’t let your babies think that this is what relationships are like.

Oh OP what an awful thing he said to your DD. Are you in a position to leave? Or get him to leave?