Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this mother wants me to pay for her dd’s party?

178 replies

tinkertailorsoldierspyy · 25/04/2018 19:35

Namechanged in case said mother sees this - don’t want it linked with my other posts.

I have a dd aged 6 in Year 1. At pick up on Monday a mum of a girl in her class came up to me and said she was wondering if I would like to have a joint birthday party for our DDs this year, as they both turn 7 in September.

I thought it was a reasonable idea in principle - our DDs aren’t particularly close friends but if it’s a class party I don’t think that really matters, they’d each have their own friends there. I told her I would be happy to discuss it.

Yesterday evening she texted me saying that she’d found a perfect venue (a roller skating rink) and that it would be about £200 each if we invite all the kids in their class.

Unfortunately, my dd hates roller skating - we tried taking her recently and she was absolutely petrified and wouldn’t let go of the side. I therefore texted back straight away saying that roller skating wasn’t going to work. She didn’t reply, and then this afternoon when I saw her at the school she asked why I had dismissed her idea without even considering it. When I explained again that dd cannot roller skate and is not going to want a roller skating party for her birthday, the mother suggested that I take her once a week until September so that she can learn how to skate. I didn’t want to have an argument with her just as the children were coming out so I just said I’d think about it and walked away.

AIBU to think that her dd wants a roller skating party and her mother just wants me to pay for half of it?

OP posts:
Serialweightwatcher · 25/04/2018 19:52

Definite CF - you're not even close, neither are your DDs and she's telling you how much she expects from you? That's just awful - what if you could only afford £50 ... tell her you've changed your mind and they can have separate parties instead

ScattyCharly · 25/04/2018 19:54

Cheeky fuckery.
It’s everywhere. I have to fend off my cheeky fucker neighbour next!

KinkyAfro · 25/04/2018 19:54

Just tell her you're doing something else and you don't want to do joint party

TireSwing · 25/04/2018 19:56

I can see this morphing into a CFRSM (cheeky fucking roller skating mum) thread in no time! Stay away from her, OP!

unicornfarts · 25/04/2018 19:57

Equally though, wouldn't it have been easy to say that your DD was petrified on her visit to the roller rink, rather than just saying no the first time, and 'she can't skate' the second time?

RedSkyAtNight · 25/04/2018 20:00

I agree the forcing the rollerskating is ridiculous.

But, personally I was reeling at the idea of the party costing £400 - am I the only one that thinks that ridiculous money to spend on a 7 year old's party (with presumably party bags and cake on top)?

Piffle11 · 25/04/2018 20:00

So she's obviously asked her DD what she wants for her birthday: 'roller skate party' ... DM has checked out prices and thought, how can I get this cheaper? Checks class birthdays and zeros in on kid with the closest birthday. Avoid at all costs: these things never work out fairly. I've even done something with a friend that ended up being very one-sided (against me, so never again!)

SnorkFavour · 25/04/2018 20:00

Ohhdear

I love how people announce they are name changing so they can’t be linked to their post and then go on to describe a very specific scenario that would out them immediately

Surely this isn't so hard to understand??? Yes, it IS a very outing scenario and if anyone who knows about this situation reads the post, they'll know who OP is, which is exactly WHY OP namechanged, because if she didn't ALL her other posts will be readable by people who know her.

How can you possibly not understand this??

Spudlet · 25/04/2018 20:01

Flee. With or without the aid of rollerskates.

If she wanted to have a joint rollerskating party specifically, she should have said so in the first place!

Chocolatecake12 · 25/04/2018 20:03

SHe sounds a cf
I’ve had numerous joint parties and have always split the bill evenly. The ideas for the party have always been discussed and agreed upon.
Just tell her NO! That it won’t work this time.

RainbowGlitterFairy · 25/04/2018 20:04

have you told her DD hates roller skating as opposed isn't any good at it? Maybe she likes the idea and just thinks DD hasn't tried yet?

Either way YANBU not to do it as a party and it does sound like she just wants to split the cost, but maybe shes forgetting not everyone likes things like that rather than being totally selfish.

Gemini69 · 25/04/2018 20:05

Body Swerve the CF Flowers

Octave777 · 25/04/2018 20:06

Haha. take lessons.Grin

lalaloopyhead · 25/04/2018 20:11

Regardless of the roller skating not being your dds cup of tea - £400 for a kids party?? If someone asked me for £200 for a joint party I wouldn't need any other reason to say no!

bonnyshide · 25/04/2018 20:11

I think 6 is too young for a rollerblading party, i think only a few would be able to skate well enough to enjoy it. (I might be wrong?)

Just say you've given it some thought and spoken to DD and a rollerblading party won't work. Then make a few suggestions of parties your DD might enjoy and say if none of these suit her, maybe it's best if you go it alone.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/04/2018 20:12

That’s crazy expensive. Dd had a roller skating party 3 years ago. It cost circa £200 not £400! The rink hire was expensive and the food was dirt cheap per head.

Mummyoflittledragon · 25/04/2018 20:14

Posted too soon. She can’t just unilaterally book a party of her choosing. I’d text her and say you are happy to share a party but it would need to be something both of your children will appreciate. You are ok not to share if her dd wants a skating party.

Ohhdear · 25/04/2018 20:16

@SnorkFavour

Because anyone with the interest or the inclination would have every post the OP has written on any username in this forum within minutes. If you believe any different then you need to be very careful about what you post on the internet.

PoorYorick · 25/04/2018 20:18

Would have been absolutely fine if she'd said, "My daughter would like a roller skating party. It's £400 all in, does anyone want to do a joint party and split?"

Coolaschmoola · 25/04/2018 20:20

This is the current favourite of girls turning seven here... but even for a full class party it's less than £250! Check the prices...

Belindabauer · 25/04/2018 20:23

No don't do it.
I don't like joint parties as I think it's a bit cheeky anyway, one invite yet you have to fork out for 2 presents and cards.
Rollerblading wouldn't be for everyone either.

iloveredwine · 25/04/2018 20:24

we had a roller skating party at age 6/7 but there was no was it was that price. £160 for whole thing inc food!

Tara336 · 25/04/2018 20:25

My daughter went to a roller skating party, fell over and was only told when I picked her up and asked why she had a tea towel wrapped around her arm (wtf) she had a bloody broken wrist!!! Luckily for the parents I’m not one who makes a fuss but I was fuming they hadn’t even got her some first aid or called me. I don’t recommend roller skating parties

Pinga · 25/04/2018 20:25

Ohhdear exactly and that is why the OP has namechanged specifically for this post.

FairyFantastic · 25/04/2018 20:26

YANBU. You're right in thinking it sounds like she wants you to pay. I had roller skate party a couple of years ago (oooo retro) and it didn't cost nearly as much as that!!

Swipe left for the next trending thread