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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have wanted to stab this woman at the ATM

232 replies

user1485342611 · 25/04/2018 17:17

I went up to the ATM this afternoon and got there a split second behind another woman so just smiled at her and stood back.

She then proceeded to put her card in and out a couple of times doing different transactions, took out another card and did the same and then did a transaction on a third card. By the time she was finished there was half a dozen people waiting in the queue.

AIBU to think she was a selfish cow who should have let me go ahead when she knew she was going to be ages?

OP posts:
LannieDuck · 25/04/2018 17:51

YANBU, and I'm surprised there are ppl on this thread who would have happily accepted the offer to go first knowing full well that they were going to be faffing around for ages. It's very rude.

Original poster
user1485342611 · 25/04/2018 17:53

thanks Lannie. That's the point I was making. Given that we got there at practically the same time I would have thought refusing my offer to go ahead would have been the norm.
A bit like letting someone go ahead of you at the checkout if you have a trolley load and the person beside is just buying a pint of milk.

OP posts:
OohMavis · 25/04/2018 17:54

So people should hurry and rush themselves to please others? Keep up with everyone else who are rushed off their feet, even though they themselves aren't?

No thanks.

ILostItInTheEarlyNineties · 25/04/2018 17:54

impatient, entitled and angry. It'll kill you eventually

Quite. Silently seething about trivial matters will send your blood pressure through the roof and all that huffing and frowning at people in queues will give you terrible wrinkles. Wink

NotAgainYoda · 25/04/2018 17:55

Lannie

Well you've taken a bit of a leap there. Sure, I would have maybe let her go ahead and that would have been nice of me. OTOH I would not have felt sufficiently angry about her 'rudeness' to post about it in quite the way the OP has.

MyNewAlias · 25/04/2018 17:57

Oh dear OP, was it me in front of you? My DH often asks me to get him some cash from his own account, while I am getting some from mine, so I put my card in get cash, then put his card in to get cash, didn't realise it was a crime. Are you changing your story? You said that she got there first, albeit by seconds so there is no issue.

FreeMantle · 25/04/2018 17:58

I'm with you Op.

Cash points are slow at the best of times.

She easily could have told you she had a number of transactions so at least you had the option to use another one. It's not the same as rolling up behind someone in the middle of a transaction.

AmazingPostVoices · 25/04/2018 17:59

I wish I'd had the nerve to say something

What the hell would you have said?

“How very dare you use the ATM for its intended purpose don’t you know who I am?”

There’s no way to comment without looking irredeemably arsy

pictish · 25/04/2018 17:59

Oh yanbu OP...not at all. It’s the same mentality that people who drive 35/40 on a 60 with a queue of 12 cars behind them have - me me me, fuck everyone else. Makes me feel violent as well.
She was a cunt.

IdentifiesAsMiddleAged · 25/04/2018 17:59

offering the place ahead isn't the norm. It's very nice and kind, but sometimes it's not convenient and nor should you expect it from others. Be nice to be nice - it's not a transaction.

Original poster
user1485342611 · 25/04/2018 18:02

Well I would have offered her the place ahead, or done one of my transactions and then asked her if she wanted to do hers before I continued.

But obviously I'm in the minority here.

OP posts:
QueenArseClangers · 25/04/2018 18:02

LostInShoe wins the thread Grin

ALongHardWinter · 25/04/2018 18:03

I can guarantee that every time I get someone beat me to a cashpoint by a nano second,they then proceed to draw money out for their entire extended family,using 8 different cards. And why does the person in front of me in the supermarket checkout queue always seem to be the person who insists on paying for 7 quids worth of goods with pennies,two pences and five pences? If they genuinely don't have any other money,fine. But I suspect that the vast majority of the time they're just trying to get rid of their small change. Why don't they just do what I do and save it up at home and when they've got a fiver's worth,pay it into their bank account? Much easier all round!

AmazingPostVoices · 25/04/2018 18:04

user but what if she didn’t know in advance she would have to do several transactions?

Is it still ok for her to go first?

IdentifiesAsMiddleAged · 25/04/2018 18:04

user

You would have. But she's not a bad person for not offering. You have no idea what her day consisted of and whether she needed to be sure to get that done then. Don't be generous to others and then expect everyone to be like you, That's a bit martyrish, IMO, and makes you stressed

GreatDuckCookery6211 · 25/04/2018 18:06

Crikey. Sounds like you needs a can of Stella OP.

JacquesHammer · 25/04/2018 18:07

But I suspect that the vast majority of the time they're just trying to get rid of their small change.

How dare people use legal tender in an exchange for goods.

World’s going mad.

There’s an awful lot of very easily irritated people on this thread. Isn’t life so much more pleasant if you just calm down and don’t let petty stuff wind you up?!

mustbemad17 · 25/04/2018 18:07

OP had i been behind you i'd have been cooking up an alibi tbh 😆 it frustrates me no end when people rock up with three or four cards & painstakingly withdraw from each. Definitely worthy of stabby thoughts

Gottagetmoving · 25/04/2018 18:07

Well I would have offered her the place ahead, or done one of my transactions and then asked her if she wanted to do hers before I continued

So, someone not doing what you would do is justification for you being angry?
The woman may have been in a hurry herself.
Just how long exactly did this cost you in time?
Did you miss an appointment? Late for work?
Is the woman responsible for your inability to relax?

ShatnersBassoon · 25/04/2018 18:09

She was a cunt.

Come on, she was worse than that. No need to go easy on these people doing things for a couple of minutes longer than average.

ApocalypseNowt · 25/04/2018 18:09

Depends what mood I'm in tbh. I do and try to be patient/think kind thoughts but if I'm in a rush and have lots to do I do get (inwardly) huffy.

Also while I absolutely appreciate that some people will be slower for legitimate reasons, there are also people like my DH who has feck all wrong with him but who is a world class faffer.

TheFirstMrsDV · 25/04/2018 18:09

Bloody nora.

People really need to get their heads around the fact the world doesn't revolve around them.
Getting stabby because they have to wait a few minutes at an ATM or check out till is ridiculous.

Life is too short to rage about someone in front of you taking a bit of time to do something.

Just deal with it. Like the grown up you are.

mustbemad17 · 25/04/2018 18:11

Actually stabbing her would have been unreasonable. But i defy anybody on this thread to say they don't sometimes have murderous thoughts over things that other people would probably tell them to get over

WingsOnMyBoots · 25/04/2018 18:11

Happens...instant gratification not always possible.

SheGotBetteDavisEyes · 25/04/2018 18:12

AIBU to think she was a selfish cow who should have let me go ahead

No. YABU. And fairly unpleasant.

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