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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
happypoobum · 25/04/2018 17:37

Much as I have enjoyed these threads, I do think probably at this stage I would NOT reply to the latest text, but would block her.

You cannot argue with crazy.

LML83 · 25/04/2018 17:39

As @storm said she wants her chance to tell you why she is right and you to see the error of your ways. Ridiculous.

I would say something to shut it down if she continues.

'I have spent enough time on this, I do not wish to discuss it, nothing you say will change what has happened. I am prepared to be friendly in social groups but please do not contact me directly again.'

magoria · 25/04/2018 17:51

Don't engage. This is what she wants. This has what she has always wanted.

As soon as you do, she knows exactly how far she has to go to get you to engage again.

There is no answer to her last text. Keep it and don't respond.

As fun as it would be to post the suggestions on this thread it just feeds back into her need for you to send some sort of response she can use against you.

Nothing is better.

Thebluedog · 25/04/2018 17:51

Carry on as you are doing. She’s frustrated because you aren’t giving her anything to battle against. She WANTS the drama and wants to be able to say to people you’ve been aggressive, nasty or whatever else she can think of if you react.

I second be the grey rock technique

Lizzie48 · 25/04/2018 17:53

That suggested text would be just right, @LML83 it's gone on long enough and after sending it you should then block her, OP. Life really is too short.

LexieLulu · 25/04/2018 17:57

It seems like she wants drama? Why is she trying to drag this on!!!

zzzzz · 25/04/2018 18:03

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Motoko · 25/04/2018 18:07

Ignore the text. She wants attention, any kind of attention, and every time you reply, she's getting it.

Don not keep the dialogue going, because it doesn't matter what you text back, she will reply to that, and then you'll be wondering if you should reply again, and on and on it will go.

So ignore. Go grey rock.

Idontevencareanymore · 25/04/2018 18:11

Oh gosh do not block under any circumstances.
This will most definitely affect the group dynamic and possibly create a divide because you KNOW this will now prove beyond all and any doubt you do indeed have an issue with her

I'd text her saying it's all done and dusted at my end. We misunderstood each other (we didn't but whatevs) and apologies were made both sides.
See you on blah day at group/meet if you're able to make it? Be good to catch up eh.

Kill that bitch with hellfire kindness.

AfterSchoolWorry · 25/04/2018 18:18

Just send back 'lol'

willynillypie · 25/04/2018 18:45

The best thing to do, the SENSIBLE thing to do is to ignore.

I don't think I would be able to do this though! Grin She's too provocative, and my thumbs would be itching to send something back, and not something conciliatory. Especially since your last message was actually quite pleasant and welcoming re the group on Friday.

HettySunshine · 25/04/2018 19:21

I can't believe she is still dragging this out. You are doing the right thing op. Keeping it breezy and not engaging but Christ on a bike she's tenacious!

Usertwo · 25/04/2018 20:27

@HettySunshine

...but Christ on a bike she's tenacious!

This made me chuckle Grin
You’re spot on with it too

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 25/04/2018 20:29

Well I've been thinking about replying and I'm afraid to say that I'm going to keep going with my current 'grey rock ' approach. But still not block her. Mainly because I want to know what she's up to as much as I can!

OP posts:
Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 25/04/2018 20:30

I can't promise what I'll do if she confronts me face to face tho....

OP posts:
VladmirsPoutine · 25/04/2018 20:31

This reply has been deleted

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aaaaargghhhhelpme · 25/04/2018 20:33

You’re still here vladmir! Knew you couldn’t keep away.

Yeah I think that’s the best op. Do party friend or anyone else know she’s still harassing you?

Laiste · 25/04/2018 20:46

If it pleases you to enrage her further (and it would please me if i were in your shoes) then carry on just as you are OP Grin

Short, polite, bland, rather 'wide eyed innocent' replies sent as many hours after her texts as you can bare. Don't let her see you know she's angry. Don't let her see you've given her more than 10 seconds thought.There's nothing rude about doing that, and it's winding her up something rotten. Win win! Grin

CuckingFunt1987 · 25/04/2018 20:55

This reply has been deleted

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DisappearingGirl · 25/04/2018 20:58

Another vote for don't reply at this point.

But if I did reply I'd be tempted to go for quoting Monty Python: "Is this rent-an-argument?"

KateWindmumof3 · 25/04/2018 21:10

Just block her and move on. Seems you are loving the drama

Willow2017 · 25/04/2018 21:16

Blocking her would give the daft bint even more to whinge about and tell the other friends in the group about.
At least op can ignore her but she has a record of any bullshit txts she sends her.

MrsDilber · 26/04/2018 00:25

Don't text her.

ReanimatedSGB · 26/04/2018 01:12

OP is not to blame in the least for the fact that a self-obsessed, manipulative bully has chosen her for a target. OP is handling it brilliantly, tiresome though the mad cunt is being. If OP was 'loving the drama', OP would be texting all the rest of the group and whining about the latest and/or threatening to call the police, or calling them. OP's cheerful refusal to engage is the best possible option unless/until Softzilla does something that really crosses the line from silly bitch to credible threat/nuisance.

Bahhhhhumbug · 26/04/2018 08:01

You're frustrating because you're not dancing to her tune. I think she has become so entrenched in her mistaken negative view of you (that you're a freeloader because she did nt see you pay these people back straightaway) that she doesn't want to back track and waste all that energy she's invested in this view
or look like the twat she is

Happened to me once in a case of mistaken identity in a large workplace and this person suddenly seemed to have a vendetta against me. After it eventually came to light that it wasn't me who'd committed 'heinous' crime this person started justifying why she still didn't like me anyway etc etc and making things up.

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