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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
snewname · 26/04/2018 08:09

Op I think you are right not to block her. She would feel vindicated and be able to tell everyone that you're a mean bitch who still has a problem with her. Pleasant, polite in person and refuse to engage in the private stuff.
It's so funny she didn't have a thing to say when she wanted to "discuss it" and other people were there, but how it's so important now, even though it's apparently sorted.

SamandDean · 26/04/2018 08:15

Tbh I’m starting to think you’re just as much to blame for letting this carry on for so long. Both of you need to let it go. I was totally with you OP. 3 threads later and you’re starting to sound immature and petty. Either talk to her and move forward or block and ignore. You seem to be loving all the drama

Lizzie48 · 26/04/2018 08:17

The OP hasn't been enjoying the drama. She's only come on occasionally to update us. It's other posters feeding the drama by place marking to keep it all going. For those saying to block Softzilla (which I did too), it's not so simple as the woman would still cause trouble, as they're part of the same group of friends.

I don't think it applies so much now, though, as the others know she's a troublemaker. The problem now is that the children are friends. But once they start school they'll make their own friends, so even that doesn't matter really.

I think you should all block her. I don't see that happening, though.

MachineBee · 26/04/2018 08:58

Just keep on keeping on OP. You’re handling it all so well and thank you for the updates. I don’t agree that ‘you’re feeding the drama’. Polite and cheerful is the way to go. And do not give her another apology - she didn’t deserve the last one!

ChiefSuspect · 26/04/2018 11:39

I do think if you are not going to block her, the very least op should do is to assign a different ring tone so she doesn't end up answering by accident.

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 26/04/2018 11:55

How many times do posters dredge up old posts and ask - any update op?! I think it’s nice for a change to get an update. And let’s face it. We all knew this cf wasn’t going away without a fight...

I agree with pp. the trouble with blocking is that it vindicates her view that there’s beef between you two. She can start more lies and whispers about the op.

It also shows she’s getting to the op. And who knows. If she sees a chink in the armour she may go full pelt.

Ignore private communication. Breezy and polite when seeing her. It gives her nothing to twist to her version.

If this was someone the op would never have to deal with again or have common friends I would say block. But that’s just not the case.

Emus · 26/04/2018 15:01

She sounds pretty obsessed with you for some reason, or is extremely insecure. Or both!

sockunicorn · 26/04/2018 17:59

is anyone else looking forward to the "group meeting" tomorrow? Grin

PositivelyPERF · 26/04/2018 21:19

is anyone else looking forward to the "group meeting" tomorrow?

Seriously sockunicorn, that’s in incredibly bad taste and your just encouraging the OP.

yes, me too. I’ll be stalking this page tomorrow

PositivelyPERF · 26/04/2018 21:20

Bugger! You’re 😳

Weezol · 26/04/2018 21:27

I am not ashamed to say yes. Yes I am looking forward to an update tomorrow.

Lizzie48 · 26/04/2018 21:38

I guess I won't be able to resist either. Very sad of course, but this is very addictive. But for the OP it must be very stressful, I'd hate to have something like Softzilla to cope with.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 26/04/2018 21:48

I hate to disappoint but at this moment I'm not sure if I'm going! Was supposed to have a workman round today to fix a leak but he's actually made it worse so will be calling him to see if he can come back tomorrow.

OP posts:
Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 26/04/2018 21:49

I would almost be relieved not to go. Tho I like the group I hate not knowing what I'm walking in to.

OP posts:
Weezol · 26/04/2018 21:54

Leaks trump lunacy. A leak can be fixed.

PositivelyPERF · 26/04/2018 21:56

Aww now OP! You’re just being a drip!💧 Dry up and let the plumbing problem flow over you. 😬

ChoccyJules · 26/04/2018 22:00

I think you've done the best thing in not replying, OP, but I did like the 'who is this?' suggestion a few pages back. I wanted to know how the crazy woman described herself!

Strawberry2017 · 26/04/2018 22:07

@sockunicorn I am!

mspeef · 26/04/2018 22:44

I have to confess to a small cheer when I saw the thread title - it was like catching up on an old friend!
I do think the OP is continuing the drama, but only on MN; in real life I think you are doing brilliantly at minimising the drama!
I think ignoring messages, NOT blocking, and keeping short breezy replies when you have to is absolutely the way to go. You have nothing to be reproached on, and it will probably frustrate the other party, who is fishing for drama.

Lizzie48 · 26/04/2018 22:50

You really don't need to feel you have to go to the group just to keep us all happy, OP. It's your life, nothing to do with those of us on Mumsnet who are over invested in the drama. I confess I've followed it with interest, but it's your life. Hope you get the leak sorted, very frustrating.

WeirdyMcBeardy · 26/04/2018 22:51

Seriously OP, get tough with her. Tell her to stop being a drama queen, you are not interested in discussing it again or having any contact with her and tell her not to contact you again. She's carrying on because you are still saying you are willing to forget it and see her at group. The woman is a bellend.

EliseC1965 · 26/04/2018 23:29

Nope. Just reply ‘OK’ will drive her apeshit. 😂

sockunicorn · 26/04/2018 23:37

PositivelyPERF Grin

Just reply ‘OK’ will drive her apeshit. 😂 THIS!!!! Grin

TheMaddHugger · 27/04/2018 00:26

@Unreasonableunreasonableness Please don't let this interfere with your day to day life.
And Definitely don't do something just to please the people here.

At the end of the day... this is your life.

If you want to change groups.. do it. If you need to stay home to stop the house from flooding Do It

((((((Hugs))))))

emmyrose2000 · 27/04/2018 01:19

I totally understand not wanting to go tomorrow, and also that the leak needs fixing ASAP.

But, I'd be worried that if I didn't go along as usual that it'd be leading to even more drama as softzilla would take this as yet another reason to contact you (to find out why you didn't attend etc). More importantly, it leaves her the chance to spread her "version" of events, ie. lies and gossip.