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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
Wineandpyjamas · 25/04/2018 13:35

Unreal that this is still carrying on! The woman just refuses to get out of that hole or surrender the shovel doesn’t she? Or by this point maybe it’s more like an industrial digger?

I agree it’s all overblown drama (not OP’s fault imho) but I’m 37 weeks pregnant, on mat leave and desperate for distractions from aches and pains so this fits the bill perfectly Grin

Good luck OP, keep refusing to engage and keep the moral high ground. Softzilla is nuts.

WhingyNinja · 25/04/2018 13:36

Fucking hell! This woman's a real card isn't she.

Hissy · 25/04/2018 13:38

just block her number. seriously.
she is now trying to goad you into something.
I'd be at flipping point right about now where she'd get a text that starts "look... enough of you and this drama..."

kissthealderman · 25/04/2018 13:40

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Wetwashing00 · 25/04/2018 13:44

What a loon 🙄

sonjadog · 25/04/2018 13:45

Stop telling her not to worry about it. Tell her that you aren't prepared to talk about so she is to stop trying to engage you in conversation. Tell her that the issue is over and done with for you. These vague messages are clearly not getting your point across. Tell her straight that you will not engage in conversation with her and be done with this. It´s tedious enough to read about, I am sure you are fed up with living it!

WhatAGrippingLifeYouDoLead · 25/04/2018 13:52

VladmirsPoutine has form for following a thread just to make comments that inflate her feeling of superiority - I've seen her do it on lots of threads. She offers no constructive advice, just likes to placemark I think so that she can follow the thread and still feel she's above all us lesser mortals silly bint

Bookrat · 25/04/2018 13:54

These threads have been very much a guilty pleasure for me, because it won't have been at all entertaining for you, OP. All the way through I have admired your calm and good sense because I know I couldn't have handled anything like this half as well. But I'm not feeling so bad about being fascinated by the thread now, because where you sounded upset and worried to start with, you seem so confident and totally in control now. I hope people who are close to you are proud of the amazing person you are Flowers

snewname · 25/04/2018 13:58

She's so frustrated because you won't engage in the drama. You aren't playing by her rules. You horrible person you Grin

Starlight2345 · 25/04/2018 14:05

She clearly has a lot of phone problems,apologies that don’t get through , 7 hour cut off . I would advise a new phone.

Willow2017 · 25/04/2018 14:06

Oh dear. Of course you are frustrating! You are not gagging to 'discuss' this non issue with her (so she can continue to be queen bee in her own mind) so she can take the credit for 'fixing it'.

She just doeant know when she is beat does she?

BonsaiBear · 25/04/2018 14:11

I think you need to locate the block function on your phone and use it.

Failingat40 · 25/04/2018 14:17

Agree with others, block her now.

I read your previous two threads and can't believe she's still able to access you by phone.

You've got the perfect reason to do it now as she so rudely replied to you with "You're so frustrating" Hmm

If she harassed you at group then you tell her to leave you alone and stop harassing you. No discussion.

If you allow this to continue you will lose the moral high ground.

MimpiDreams · 25/04/2018 14:44

I'd have to text something like

'I'm done with your drama. Stop mithering me!'

Then block and ignore (on technology and in real life)

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 25/04/2018 15:15

I am getting fed up of all this. Thinking of messaging 'I'm not sure what you want from me. I've said everything is forgotten, not to worry and to come to group. There is NOTHING to talk about. Let's just stop all this drama, I will see you on Friday. '
Not sure I'm brave enough to send it tho.

OP posts:
Mummyoflittledragon · 25/04/2018 15:18

You really should send this. It’s time.

VladmirsPoutine · 25/04/2018 15:18

@WhatAGrippingLifeYouDoLead High praise indeed! Grin Thank you!

KinkyAfro · 25/04/2018 15:18

Just send it OP, it says exactly what it needs to

minionsrule · 25/04/2018 15:22

Or you could go seriously PA and text 'who is this?' Grin

MimpiDreams · 25/04/2018 15:24

I think that the problem now lies in what you're telling her. You words say that you're over it, don't worry about it, it's all forgotten, let's carry on like before kind of thing. But your actions say that you're (understandably) royally pissed off with her.

If you want this drama to stop you need to make these two 'messges' match up. Either way.

WitchDancer · 25/04/2018 15:24

I think it's a perfect response - send it!

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 25/04/2018 15:24

It's a shame that your regular group is Fridays.
It would have been so much better if you could have sent a simple "C U Next Tuesday"

StormTreader · 25/04/2018 15:30

"I've said everything is forgotten, not to worry and to come to group. "

I wonder if shes finding it frustrating because you're looking at this like whats needed is YOU to forgive HER which you're trying to do.
I wonder if she thinks that SHE should be deciding whether to forgive YOU and is frustrated that you keep insisting everything is fine when she doesn't think it is.

I have no idea what she thinks you should be asking forgiveness for exactly, but I cant see what else it could be.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 25/04/2018 15:38

I'd be tempted to say something about last time she wanted to talk she said nothing then agreed to draw a line under it so there's no point in continuing in harking back to it and you've no intention of doing so. And end with a breezy see you on Friday.

Flexoset · 25/04/2018 15:50

BreakfastAtSquiffanys - your reply spells out an excellent message in capitals, too...