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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
DragonMummy1418 · 30/05/2018 13:14

What's your DH said about all this? 😮
Can he go into the pub and ask for you?

MiddleClassProblem · 30/05/2018 13:16

I wouldn’t go hunting down pub bookings. It looks like you’re too interested and I wouldn’t want the police thinking you’re stirring the pot in anyway. Besides they could explain it away by saying they didn’t book the area or need to.

mmzz · 30/05/2018 13:23

Have the police suggested that you stop documenting everything on a public forum?

If (big IF) that was her the other day on the other thread, then even if she didn't know about this thread before she posted, she certainly would now, as many posters directed that OP to this one.

mmzz · 30/05/2018 13:24

Actually, I've just realised that the other thread couldn't have been SZ because she would still be reading this morning and she'd know not to keep calling today.

MiddleClassProblem · 30/05/2018 13:45

mmzz I think you’re using the logic of someone who would have backed off when asked to. Given the was she has behaved she could easily read this and think she can talk OP out of the police or think that her party offer looks like she’s not upset to the police.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 30/05/2018 13:59

I did mention the thread but he didn't seem bothered....

OP posts:
BewareOfDragons · 30/05/2018 14:15

It's incredibly unnerving that there doesn't appear to be an actual 'party'. Clearly an attempt to just get you to show up alone with your DC ... I'm amazed she thinks this is rational behaviour! Very worrying.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 30/05/2018 14:29

I'm sure she isn't trying to get you to leave your dd alone with her. It's all designed to get you there and in a vulnerable position as in you aren't likely to kick off if dc are about.

Also by declining the invite you're also showing that you aren't some freeloading cf after anything you can get from people. That won't play well into her story, which is probably why she's trying the leave your dd line.

Ladymadness · 30/05/2018 14:37

The party sounds like a ploy to jump you. Unfortunately iv know a few women who do crap like this. They will act all sickly sweet and invite you somewhere where they have got backup and as soon as your alone with them they turn.
She has already tryed getting you on your own several times and is using your dd as a way to get you there alone by suggesting she will watch her so you still have to go to do dds drop off.
Glad to hear the police are involved.

espoleta · 30/05/2018 14:43

Wow. This seem to escalate quickly. She needs help.

espoleta · 30/05/2018 14:43

Wow. This seem to escalate quickly. She needs help.

Motoko · 30/05/2018 15:09

I'm not at all suggesting you do this, but it would be interesting to see what her reaction would be if you accepted the invitation for your DD, and then turn up with your DH in tow, or just get him to do the drop off. Grin

I can just imagine her, all fired up to have a go at you, only to be thwarted when she sees your DH!

Ipdipme · 30/05/2018 15:37

Wow, we’re going to need a new thread soon!

Well done OP on going to the police.

HeebieJeebies456 · 30/05/2018 18:34

SZ has some serious MH issues.

I think your group leader should ban her from attending the same group/time as you given the police involvement now.

TheBigFatMermaid · 30/05/2018 19:25

OMG, I haven't had a laptop for a few weeks, so have missed this massive update.

ChiefSuspect · 30/05/2018 19:55

OP, when you say she hasn't stopped trying to contact you since yesterday, what do you mean? How many missed calls / messages? Have you been back in contact with the police?

I also think you need to let the group leader know about this development (i.e. police involvement), as the prospect of both of you turning up at group on Friday is untenable

ChiefSuspect · 30/05/2018 19:56

Apologies - I missed that group isn't on this week.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 30/05/2018 20:02

I'm on about 14 missed calls and a few more messages along the same lines of asking me to come to the party and not to worry how she'll be to my daughter.

OP posts:
AllyMcBeagle · 30/05/2018 20:05

Have you contacted the police about all the missed phone calls?

PerfectlySymmetricalButtocks · 30/05/2018 20:05

When XH stalked me, DF suggested sending all his texts back to him. Tap Forward and select her number.

UrsulaPandress · 30/05/2018 20:05

Run, run, as fast as you can.

fuzzyfozzy · 30/05/2018 20:05

14 is simply ridiculous. On that level I'd have no problems contacting your police.

Laiste · 30/05/2018 20:06

Very unsettling - the insistence on you going along with DD being left at this non-existent party.

I get that she's probably trying to lure you to a meeting with her on her own turf, so to speak, ie: her local, (that's bad enough!) but there's something about this scheming surrounding DD which is really very sly. Quite chilling actually.

Laiste · 30/05/2018 20:07

X post. 14 calls. You're speaking to the police again tonight yes?

You should definitely.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 30/05/2018 20:16

14 calls plus messages. After you said no contact or you'll seek legal advice. You definitely need to get this sorted with the police. That's abnormal behaviour.