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AIBU?

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Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
Motoko · 29/05/2018 12:54

Oh, I missed OP's update, but it looks like I was correct about OP being the only person invited.

OP has she responded to your text saying no, and did you leave the bit about the police in?

LaContessaDiPlump · 29/05/2018 12:55

You have to! You did say!

She really doesn't get it....

Motoko · 29/05/2018 12:56

Ah, cross post. If you mentioned contacting the police, you must do that.

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 29/05/2018 13:05

She's definitely trying to make you the unreasonable one.

I would ignore, but honestly wouldn't get police involved at present. There's no coming back from that

DarlingNikita · 29/05/2018 13:06

She's massively manipulative.

I also missed the stuff about other people not being invited, but am guessing Softzilla's manufactured an event so she can invite you and your DC? Confused Hmm

You do need to contact the police now, I think.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 29/05/2018 13:07

Given her previous she's likely to not leave you alone when you don't respond. Give her enough rope, then you've got a decent amount to take to the police.

kissthealderman · 29/05/2018 13:10

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gambaspilpilmyfav · 29/05/2018 13:11

My word she is shocking. Invites you to her wedding anniversary bbq and you say no thanks and her response is drop your dd off if you feel uncomfortable? How bizarre. My response would be as stated before the answer is no. Please don't contact me again.

FantasticButtocks · 29/05/2018 13:14

Wow. How odd for her to think that your little girl should want to go to her wedding anniversary party.

She's already put her own twist to your text - now it's about you feeling awkward, rather than her stopping contacting and harassing you. She is shameless in her using of 'the children' as reason for you to do what she wants you to do. Crazy and manipulative.

Mia184 · 29/05/2018 13:16

OP, could you send someone whom SZ doesn‘t know over to the pub where the event is supposed to take place to see if there actually is anything going on at all and who is there?

Hidingtonothing · 29/05/2018 13:22

I would just reply 'no thanks and please delete my number and don't contact me again' at this stage and then escalate to police if she messages again.

ToadsforJustice · 29/05/2018 13:29

Don't reply. I would speak to the police for advice. Get a log number and let the police know every time she contacts (cos she will) quoting the log.

Storminateapot · 29/05/2018 13:31

I really think the police is a step too far at this point. It really escalates the whole thing and - what are you going to say? We've had a big fallShe invited me to a party with malice aforethought?

I agree it's odd that nobody else has apparently been invited (although you don't know for sure yet) and particularly strange that she wants your daughter at her anniversary party. I completely agree that you should not go.

However, don't let the drama llamas here whip you into a state of paranoia. There's been a lot said about her and her intentions here that people have basically made up for maximum drama and entertainment value. She's not contacting you constantly, she's not following you, she's not showing up at your house - people are talking as if she is (and yes that could be a police matter) when the reality seems to be that she's gone days/weeks without directly contacting you but cannot accept she's blown the friendship with you and let it go.

Storminateapot · 29/05/2018 13:32

Oh this bloody app! Post edit fail, I hadn't finished, but you get the point...

DarlingNikita · 29/05/2018 13:35

Storm, Chief (who I am assuming knows what she's on about) has said calling the police now would be sensible.

I think her bringing the kids into it is clearly escalating it. I'd get the police involved out of concern over that, if nothing else.

LaLaLongwhiskers · 29/05/2018 13:42

I think you should take a bit of a step back, OP. I appreciate it's annoying she's still contacting you, but rushing to the police? Confused That seems totally OTT given this is essentially a disagreement about the social etiquette of who pays for what. Just block her instead.

adviceonthepox · 29/05/2018 13:43

Don't ring the police just ignore and don't reply at all.

adviceonthepox · 29/05/2018 13:43

Don't ring the police just ignore and don't reply at all.

MyShinyWhiteTeeth · 29/05/2018 13:52

No. Please don't contact me again.

CatsCatsCats11 · 29/05/2018 14:02

I'd be telling her under circumstances to contact you again .

CatsCatsCats11 · 29/05/2018 14:03

No circumstances

hilzilla · 29/05/2018 14:04

Re party invite, just respond - 'thanks but we have plans for (date)' - and leave it at that

Flexoset · 29/05/2018 14:04

Radio silence and give her space to make even more of an arse of herself. You already told her no more contact in no uncertain terms and she is still harassing you.

After a while you can take the decision whether or not to take this to the police/solicitor.

Eveforever · 29/05/2018 14:07

Again I apologise for being grumpy...

Isn't she a goady fucker? I mean you threaten her with police and she still ignores/baits you. Wow, she's special.

PurpleStarInCashmereSky · 29/05/2018 14:14

Police now I think. She needs someone in uniform to have a word.