Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 23 24 25 ··· 39 40

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:

RebootYourEngine · 25/05/2018 19:20

I would try and find out what had supposedly happened because she could be making things up & making it out like you are out to get her.

frozenmash · 25/05/2018 19:33

The group leader can obviously see that something is very amiss to deal with her in the way she did today.

AaronPurrSir · 25/05/2018 19:49

I really think you need to be blunt with her now. You’ve tried the breezy approach and it hasn’t worked. If you see her again and she approaches you, you need to lay it all out.

“Look, softzilla. I have made it clear to you on several occasions that I have no interest in sorting anything out, or being friends. Your continued bullying and harrassment of me this past month has gotten out of control and I’ve had enough. Do not speak to me, come near me or contact me ever again. I don’t want to have to tell you this twice.”

Say it loudly and clearly, and if the room overhears, so what. She clearly doesn’t respect or understand subtlety, you need to be really blunt now.

Chesham · 25/05/2018 20:19

I’m just wondering whether some of the mums have found these threads and told Softzilla about them today at softplay?

Amatullah · 25/05/2018 20:25

Omg I've juuust caught up on all the threads!!

Shes obviously heard about softzilla threads me thinks!!

Storminateapot · 25/05/2018 20:31

Well I think she has now read these threads and that's what she meant today,

I also think the group leader knows what her beef is, because the conversation must have gone along the lines of:

GL: Please calm down
SZ: No, because she .....???.... and I won't have it
GL: OK well if you won't leave it you'd probably better go because I won't have arguing in front of the children.

SZ is obviously growling with exasperation with you because she presumably thinks it's obvious what the problem is and you are being obtuse by not knowing what she's on about.

Quite clearly she's lost her sense of perspective on this and has forgotten she's a grown woman with a child and not an 8 year old in the playground. But I do think she's reading this - some shit-stirrer has told her about it and is just loving the excitement.

auntyflonono · 25/05/2018 20:37

I think you should talk to your community police officer for some advice on where to go next and what to do if she escalates. No, not 'logging it' or anything dramatic like that, just advice on what to do and some support because its all very odd.

Original poster

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 25/05/2018 20:48

I have spoken to a friend who's brother is a police officer. He has passed on that I should not contact her but that if she contacts me I need to clearly state (And then follow up in written form like text) that I do not wish to discuss this or speak to her again and will be contacting the police if she continues to press the matter. He says I need to have given that warning before they can get involved. He also said not to block or delete anything as it can all be evidence if needed.
Oh, and I have discovered that one of my friends is sort of related to her and I didn't know! She is her sil's sil if that makes sense. Has been told the full story as I didn't know they had a connection....
I am now drinking wine.....

OP posts:

BlackAmericanoNoSugar · 25/05/2018 21:48

Does she sound like Marge Simpson when Homer has done something particularly selfish, or is it more of a rabid dog growl? (Sorry, I'm a bit fascinated by the growl, which isn't particularly helpful.)

It does sound a bit as though there is a contingent who don't have enough drama in their lives so are not exactly feeding the flames, but not ignoring it and starving the flames of oxygen either. It sort of seems now that the 'feud' is not a means to an end for her any more, but an attention seeking device in itself. At least loads of your friends are good eggs, and being sensible and supportive. They sound lovely.

RandomMess · 25/05/2018 22:00

twinklefeather · 25/05/2018 23:15

She sounds like she’s lost it! You would think a friend could advise her to drop it it’s doing her no favours continuing this behaviour.

emmyrose2000 · 25/05/2018 23:25

It's scary to think that this nut job has a child! Either he or she will turn out as unhinged as their mother, or will be an innocent victim who is never invited to parties etc because of their crazy mother.

ChevalierTialys · 26/05/2018 06:56

Do you think she could have found out about the thread? Or maybe her sil's sil has told other family members about her behaviour?

TobysAunt · 26/05/2018 07:53

Honestly? I would find another soft play to go to. I know you shouldn't but it would probably put a stop to this nonsense. Those from the group who are truly your friend will stay in touch, the rest won't. Given they are saying they don't know what she said when they were stood round her when you walked in, it seems pretty clear they don't all have your interests at heart. This is always the way with groups and this type of scenario will be getting stoked up somewhere along the lines for other people's pleasure. And I put money on someone knowing about this thread and possibly told SF. It's really not going to help calm things down if SF has read this.

TobysAunt · 26/05/2018 07:56

I'd be especially wary of the one who is related to SG but didn't tell you. I think if you leave the group and it carries on then that's the time to get the police involved..

TobysAunt · 26/05/2018 07:57

I meant SF not SG.

LaLaLongwhiskers · 26/05/2018 07:57

Lordy, I have just read the entire three threads and I think you've handled what is an impossible situation really well OP. Personally I would've been inclined to do a face to face at the outset and put her straight about the money, but I can see why you didn't want to. I do wonder if yesterday's outburst was her finding out she's been vilified on Mumsnet across 100s of posts. It sounds like enough of your friends knew about you posting here for it to inevitably get back to her.

AnneProtheroe · 26/05/2018 08:00

Crikey, this story still going on?

GabsAlot · 26/05/2018 10:24

wow well the plot thickens-the one thats related to her and didnt say must be winding her up with all this

to deny knowing whats going on i dont believe that- they were standing round her then she marched over to you

id do what your brother advised and next time give her that warning about the police-shes deranged but i dont think the others are helping the situation either

Clutterbugsmum · 26/05/2018 10:26

Glad you have had some advice from the police even if it in a unofficial capacity and now know what you can do.

YoThePussy · 26/05/2018 10:31

Hope you are OK today OP. See if you find out what you can from friends such as party friend and others you trust.

Some of the people in the play group are not your friends at all and only out to ensure entertainment for themselves and their sad little lives.

Glad to hear you have got unofficial advise about next steps. Of course if you go down the police route Soft/Borezilla will scream and chuck herself around providing even more entertainment for the coven.

ChiefSuspect · 26/05/2018 10:45

Brother of the friend advice is spot on. I think you should have done this some time ago. The one thing I would say is that even if SOftzilla has seen this thread, op has been very measured on the thread throughout.

Motoko · 26/05/2018 11:03

Brother of the friend advice is spot on. I think you should have done this some time ago

I have to agree with that. I know originally OP was trying to just keep things calm and hope that SZ would accept that it was in the past and forget about things, but it's been obvious for quite a while that that's not going to happen and SZ needs to be told to stop speaking to OP. She should have been told when she grabbed OP's arm.

SideOrderofSprouts · 26/05/2018 11:09

Jesus op I can’t beleive she’s still going on

Well actually I can as I know a nutter like this. She tried to get me into trouble at the school saying I swore at her and shouted abuse with my husband (I was talking to the deputy head at he time and my husband was at work).

I really feel for you but do wonder if others are shit stirring. Or a friend of hers has seen the threads and told her

happypoobum · 26/05/2018 11:11

Gosh it's been so long I can't even remember what the original "offence" was!!

I think GL should probably ban Softzilla.

Flip

1 2 ··· 23 24 25 ··· 39 40

Swipe left for the next trending thread