Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 14/05/2018 11:25

Hi!
The touch to my arm wasn't a touch you'd do to a friend to get their attention, but also wasn't exactly a 'grab'. It was hard enough that it left an initial red mark on my arm but wasn't anywhere near hard enough to bruise, and I do have very pale skin which marks easily.
That said I do believe that IF I chose to call the police they would take it seriously, I do have evidence that shows that I have been clear that I do not wish her to contact me anymore, both in text and with witnesses. I have certainly been very clear that I do not wish to 'go outside' with her in messages, on the phone and face to face. Perhaps that hasn't come across as in a vague attempt to keep this anonymous (admittedly I might as well give that up now) I have tried to paraphrase and have not sent every message. I also have not reported every single missed call from her. There have been more, including a couple before the group last week (at least that gave me warning she was going to show up).
However I do not intend to call the police, it doesn't appear to be escalating atm and tho she has been intimidating at times, I do not feel overly concerned at this point as long as she continues to keep her distance. If really wanted she does know my address so could have turned up but never has.

OP posts:
Usernameunknown2 · 14/05/2018 13:33

Is she backing off now do you think? It's playgroup Wednesday isn't It?

Keep a log and if it does ramp up again then I'd report her.

GabsAlot · 14/05/2018 13:40

op you wnbu to call the police if u feel you have to

of course you dont have to tell us everything-its not our business

hope this is the end of this now

Gemini69 · 14/05/2018 17:58
Flowers
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 16/05/2018 22:35

I really hope that writing this all down and getting some good comments has helped you OP. This can't have been easy to navigate.
It's the summer now, is it possible that you could suggest meeting your friends in the park instead of indoor play. A change of scene might help you shake this off and enjoy this time with your child instead of worrying about that awful woman. All the best.

GabsAlot · 17/05/2018 13:21

the others invite her i dont think op is in a position to dictate who goes out out with them

sockunicorn · 18/05/2018 10:57

Playgroup today OP?

Mommasoph30 · 18/05/2018 12:13

shes a nutter

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 18/05/2018 15:57

Yep. Boring I'm afraid. No softzilla. A couple of queries of where she was ('I don't know' wide eyed innocent face). One 'I thought you'd have made it up by now (not someone I know well, responded with 'yeah me too' and changed the subject). Other than that just a normal group.

OP posts:
sockunicorn · 18/05/2018 17:48

glad nothing kicked off op. maybe shes got the hint. hope you had a lovely day xx

aaaaargghhhhelpme · 18/05/2018 18:16

Well I’m glad it’s gone quiet and died down. Hopefully she’s got the hint now and you can just get on with stuff. Have a lovely weekend Flowers

minimalpatience · 18/05/2018 19:04

So pleased. Hopefully that is the end of it.

Whereismumhiding2 · 18/05/2018 20:20

unreasonable
Gosh, I've read all three threads and think you've behaved marvellously & thoughtfully in very trying circumstances.
I feel sad for you for the silly couple of comments you had today ('thought you would have made it up by now' ... were you supposed to reply 'Oh yes let me be Bessies with my semi stalker'?!)
Anyway, this is early aong term challenge and I want to say to you, hold your head up high. Hopefully she will disappear over time, realising that she embarrassed herself and there are a few in your group that think she's weird. She won't be able to pull same.stunts again nor will you have to pay for her!!
Definitelt don't feel you have to invite her (or her DC, to be polite) to your DC's next party or any events you plan, let her fade out if you can.
I really feel for you, for what you've gone through. Flowers

Whereismumhiding2 · 18/05/2018 20:21
  • clearly a long term... Is what I typed first line second paragraph. (Stupid big fingers, stupid autocorrect on my phone!)
Whereismumhiding2 · 18/05/2018 20:53

I'm really glad your friends stood up for you last time, and that the group leader was quietly protectiving you (as were your friends). I'm sure that helped Softzilla reign it in and hopefully will stick with her (that she risks her welcome in softplay by her uncomfortable behaviour towards you).

ReanimatedSGB · 18/05/2018 21:02

Another one hoping that's the end of it. And you behaved really well throughout.

GabsAlot · 18/05/2018 23:40

stil some dont know the whole story it seems

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 20/05/2018 13:24

GabAlot - I never said she should get other people not to invite SZ. I said she should see her friends, the people who have supported her.

BerylStreep · 21/05/2018 17:34

That 'hope you would have made it up with each other by now' remark would have really riled me - it's as if she views you both as equally to blame. But dear knows what shite she has been fed from Softzilla.

I think you were right not to respond though. Hopefully this is the end of it. People asking you at the group where Softzilla is are trying to shit stir - make a mental note of who they are and keep your counsel, or next time ask them why they are asking you.

Lizzie48 · 21/05/2018 18:18

It sounds like the others in the group have been fed the idea that you and Softzilla are friends who have had a falling out, which may well be what she genuinely believes is the case (delusional obviously).

On the plus side it does sound as though Softzilla may well have got the message so hopefully that will be it. (Fingers crossed anyway! Grin)

sockunicorn · 25/05/2018 15:25

how did today go OP?

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 25/05/2018 15:41

Today was a bit weird. I don't know what happened exactly but will be seeing some of the mums tomorrow so might get some answers then.
I was late to group today. When I arrived softzilla was there and surrounded by a large ish group of the other mums. When she saw me she stomped straight over and said 'what do you have to say about all this then? ' with hers arms folded.
I said 'about what? ' at which point she made that weird growling noise again.
Before either of us could say anything the group leader appeared and asked to speak to her and took her out of the room. Then a few minutes later the group leader came back in alone, fetched her bag etc and took her DC out and they must have gone home.
A few people asked if I was ok and I said yes but what just happened and they essentially said 'dunno'.
The group leader asked me to stay till people had gone at the end which I did. But she didn't know what had been said to spark her off. She'd just seen her approach me and decided to intervene and then softzilla wouldn't agree to calm down and let everything drop and leave me alone so she asked her to leave then. She walked me to my car to make sure I was not approached, though everyone had gone anyway.
Very confused....

OP posts:
kissthealderman · 25/05/2018 15:44

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

fuzzyfozzy · 25/05/2018 15:46

She is sounding more and more unhinged

DarlingNikita · 25/05/2018 15:46

She must have said something to them to have them all standing round her. Can you message any of them?

Yes, this.

Fuck. What's with the growling? Confused She's disturbed.