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AIBU?

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Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2018 22:35

Original thread...
www.mumsnet.com/Talk/am_i_being_unreasonable/3212527-For-not-paying-even-though-I-invited

HettySunshine · 07/05/2018 22:36

This is the first thread:

http://www.mumsnet.com/Talk/amiibeingunreasonable/3212527-For-not-paying-even-though-I-invited

We're currently in the third one.

MiddleClassProblem · 07/05/2018 22:38

Thanks, Hetty. Glad I’m not going completely mad!

Cocktailismyfavouritefilm · 07/05/2018 23:36

My apologies. I obviously can't keep up. 🙈

MiddleClassProblem · 08/05/2018 00:15

Don’t worry. But you might have missed the beginning where Softzilla was originally a twat, before she became creepily obsessed.

Clutterbugsmum · 08/05/2018 06:58

TomRavenscroft I meant WOULDN'T sorry typing on phone and small kids distraction.

TomRavenscroft · 08/05/2018 10:03

Ah, I see, sorry Clutterbugsmum!

Clutterbugsmum · 08/05/2018 11:23

That's ok, I used to be able to multi task and spell, then I had children Grin.

ReanimatedSGB · 08/05/2018 11:38

I also think it's a police matter: her behaviour is well into the realms of stalking and harassment - and she needs professional help for the sake of her own kids.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 08/05/2018 16:34

Awh. OP . you poor love. What a horrible situation you have found yourself in. The woman is going through some mental breakdown. I think you have behaved absolutely right in a very very difficult situation. I'm so glad Friend 1 has helped out and that you have some support. I also really agree with StorminaTeaCups comments about SZ;s obsession with taking this outside.. and Clutterbugs mum and Alfagirl.. SZ sounds like a character from a Guy Richie film to me and on no account should you ever let her get you on your own. I'd even stay in the car or drive around the block if she's waiting out side for you or telephone the play leader. This woman is nuts. Well beyond Grey Rock... and into "I HAVE ASKED YOU TO LEAVE ME ALONE" territory. I think SZ has now put her cards on the table and revealed herself as someone who cannot be reasoned with and must just be avoided. I hope you don't have to experience any more of these nasty encounters. Keep yer Chin Up.. I nearly typed Gin, but maybe that's also an idea.

ChiefSuspect · 08/05/2018 21:42

Apologies, I stand corrected re the number of threads. Blush

SargeantAngua · 10/05/2018 19:12

Would it be possible to arrange to talk to her with just 1 other person to mediate - perhaps if she got whatever she wants to say off her chest things might relax. She seems determined to say something to you so maybe giving her an opportunity in a safe way with just 1 witness might be enough to clear things up, and in a way you can control.

Clutterbugsmum · 10/05/2018 21:20

SargeantAungua OP has contacted by text , in person in front of their friends, about drawing a line under this situation and friends have tried but Softzilla will not.

I wouldn't encourage OP to be alone with Softzilla as she is too dangerous and unstable.

OP I hope you have had a quiet week and feel up to going to your play group tomorrow.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 10/05/2018 21:48

Hey! Not sure if people are wanting an update (especially after reading reddit).
Not much to say. Nothing much has happened during the week. Have had a call from the group leader again checking up and reminding me I'm welcome to come tomorrow. Apparently softzilla has told her she won't be attending but the leader has said she won't stop her at this point tho she has made it clear that the issue needs to be dropped. She has repeated to me tho that she will ensure this group is a safe place for people to attend and if I have any issues or concerns to locate her immediately. I do intend to go atm. Will see how I feel in the morning.

OP posts:
Dobby1sAFreeElf · 10/05/2018 21:55

Enjoy group tomorrow. At least you know what to do if she shows up and starts again.

SargeantAngua · 10/05/2018 21:56

clutterbugsmum
SZ won't draw a line under it and won't talk in front of lot of people, but might with just one person, then she might settle down. And I did specificallysay "in a safe way" with a witness/mediator, never suggested meeting her alone.

MiddleClassProblem · 10/05/2018 22:10

I wouldn’t worry about the reddit lot. They’re just reading something on the internet and saying what they think like us. It doesn’t matter if anyone thinks it’s real or not. They’re not in your life so that’s up to them. Whole other story if one of your friends was doubting you or something. They’re not. You have some brilliant rl friends. Just brush it off.

Hope all goes well tomorrow and things are settling down a bit. If she does show and hassles you, you know where to go.

44PumpLane · 10/05/2018 22:16

You should absolutely go tomorrow and not let her run you out of activities you enjoy.

You're handling this all with dignity.

HoneyBadgerApparently · 10/05/2018 22:20

Ignore the reddit thread, they're spending their time claiming you're wasting their time... Hmm

Hope all goes well tomorrow. If I was you I'd want to go to show I had no reason not to go.

PositivelyPERF · 10/05/2018 22:21

Well done, OP. Don’t let that fucker put you off going. Though, is there any chance that one of your friends could met you well away from the building. I would be concerned about her trying to ambush you, on the way in. Keep your phone in your hand, with record ready to go, just in case. That way you have evidence if she tries any crap.

DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 10/05/2018 22:22

Yes. Stuff the Reddit Lot.
Go if you want to.. or not..
and make sure if you do that a friend is with you going in and exiting too. Just in case.
Soft Zilla is gradually showing herself up.
Try to keepon keeping on and not to let it get to you too much, it may be a case of time gradually making it less of an issue for you, and time does have a habit of passing quickly. Good luck x

Groovee · 10/05/2018 22:33

Hope you have an uneventful time tomorrow x

MyOtherProfile · 10/05/2018 22:33

What's the reddit thing? Have I missed something?

Definitely go tomorrow OP. Have a nice time with your friends.

MiddleClassProblem · 10/05/2018 22:40

There’s a reddit MN trolls forum where they discuss threads here and general chat. The main difference is they troll hunt and can discuss trolls which you can’t do here.

All it is are people reading something and giving their opinion on it. They still are reading it so they obviously like it in some form.

ReanimatedSGB · 10/05/2018 22:41

Definitely go tomorrow, if you want to. If she is hanging about outside, walk straight past her without speaking - and if you get a barrage of texts from her ordering you to make contact, just ignore them.