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AIBU?

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Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
NameChangeOnTheRegular · 04/05/2018 16:44

What've your friends said about this?

StrugglingMumma · 04/05/2018 16:49

I hope your ok OP. How strange that she's still behaving like this.. do not speak to her alone

PleaseAndThanks · 04/05/2018 16:54

Oh my god she’s crazy

cordeliavorkosigan · 04/05/2018 17:01

I think asking for the group leader's support in putting it behind you might be good, and making sure she knows that it's not just a tit-for-tat bickering but a collection of truly weird and insistent behaviour, wanting you to pay for things etc.

elisenbrunnen · 04/05/2018 17:23

Don't apologise! You've done nothing.

Get Angry!

snewname · 04/05/2018 17:37

Wow. She really is, actually, bat shit crazy.

Whocansay · 04/05/2018 17:39

She is a bully. Don't let her drive a wedge in between you and your friends.

I think you handled that remarkably well. She is on another planet.

BewareOfDragons · 04/05/2018 17:41

Surely your friends have explained to the group leader by now that this is entirely on Softzilla and that you have done absolutely nothing wrong.

Softzilla sounds deranged. I wouldn't be alone with her either. She alone should have been asked to leave, not you.

sockunicorn · 04/05/2018 17:55

@Unreasonableunreasonableness What happened today was not your fault and you shouldnt be ashamed. She is harassing you and needs to go away :(. Sorry this happened OP. Im glad your friend was there to back up that you asked her to go away. She sounds obsessed and unhinged.

lizzie1970a · 04/05/2018 17:58

Wow, she's a complete control freak. I think you handled it well. You've nothing to be embarrassed about. She needs to stay away from you now. You've told her clearly. It's harassment now.

Willow2017 · 04/05/2018 18:02

I would be txting her that if she doesnt leave you the hell alone she will be hearing from your solicitor re her harassment of you not to mention spreading lies about you. You have witnesses and texts etc to back you up.
Its gone far enough time to put a spanner in her works.

linadee25 · 04/05/2018 18:46

Wow! She is seriously unhinged - you’ve done well not to lose your $h!t with her up to this point.
Do not apologise OP.

Ladymadness · 04/05/2018 18:58

Op you have done nothing wrong please dont feel embarrassed it is softzilla who should be embarrassed!

Glaciferous · 04/05/2018 19:07

Agree with everyone else. I think you were remarkably calm, considering the provocation! You have done nothing wrong. A quiet word with the group leader explaining that you keep trying to drop it and she won't let you might be in order.

FairyCrumbs · 04/05/2018 19:48

Fuck me, don't apologise to her. She called you an idiot. She sounds unhinged!

frozenmash · 04/05/2018 19:56

She doesn't want to let this go does she?! What a horrible situation for you to be in. It has got to a point where you are being harassed and embarrassed in public.

Does she have a partner/husband that someone could have a word with? Maybe if someone, who knows and cares for her, knew the extent to which she is pestering you they could help her see sense. Otherwise, I think she will end up having a visit from the police if she carries on at this rate.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 04/05/2018 20:17

Well there have been alot of tears this afternoon! Friend 1 and party friend turned up with lunch. Friend 1 immediately had a chat with the group leader when we had gone and filled her in on everything. I do not blame her at all for asking us both to leave the group. She was unaware of what was happening and I raised my voice first. She has asked for me to call her, I have sent her a message to say I will call over the weekend but I can't atm (because of the tears).

OP posts:
AllyMcBeagle · 04/05/2018 20:21

Honestly OP I think if I were you I'd have snapped ages ago. You've been very patient!

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 20:31

I’m so glad your friend explained, and that the group leader was understanding.
Also glad that your friends have been so supportive, which is probably making SZ even more angry!

She is worryingly determined to keep this up, hopefully she won’t be able to go back to the group!

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 04/05/2018 20:50

I expect the rest of the group know too as friend 1 said everything in front of everyone there. She was approached by a couple of softzilla's closer friends asking for info. Apparently she's just been giving them vague references to things but no proper story. I'm almost worried about her. But I don't think any of us would be comfortable speaking to her partner.

OP posts:
Pannacott · 04/05/2018 20:51

I'm really glad your friends have been supporting you, and that they've set the group leader straight. Sorry it's been such a crap day, and that hostile softzilla is in your life at all.

I hope you've got treats of the cake / wine / cheese variety in for some self care. Or, you know, a nice yoga routine if that's more your thing.

Groovee · 04/05/2018 20:55

So glad your friends are sticking up for you and coming round to support you.

Willow2017 · 04/05/2018 22:21

Glad your friends are rallying round and have put the woman straight on the crazy bint.

Time she was stopped and time your friends told her where to go face to face so she knows she is not going to get anywhere with you alone nor are they going to enable her to continue this harrassment.

SteveMcGarrettsBudgieSmugglers · 04/05/2018 22:42

sounds like your friends have your back. Hope it made you feel better

I think she has gone to far now to back down or let this go, she cant without loosing face. so I agree with others ring 101 and make a complaint about harassment, it may sound an over reaction to some but actually it covers you against her batshit craziness and lies. There is something wrong with her, its not normal behavior the way she is acting, and its no longer amusing its actually almost sinister

GabsAlot · 04/05/2018 23:47

wow -i hope u can sort this out with the leader if they didnt know then fine but this has gone on long enough now they cant expect u to just rol over

you have nothing to aplogise for youre being harrassed

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