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Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
beyondthesky · 04/05/2018 11:51

TheStoic have MNHQ confirmed that the threads you refer to are not real? Just wondering.

kissthealderman · 04/05/2018 11:55

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 04/05/2018 12:02

TheStoic as I have said before, please report. Mumsnet are welcome to check me out.
When she showed up she came up to me and asked to go talk outside. I first said no I was keeping an eye on my dc. She said she was sure that friend 1(who I was standing with) would keep an eye. I then said no, that there was nothing to talk about and i just wanted to drop it. She carried on pushing and i snapped and said no I had nothing to say to her and to leave me alone so it could blow over, turned my back and went to talk to party friend. She followed and stood just behind me. So I moved again. She followed. I went to get a drink. She followed. A few people called her over to them but she just waved and stayed behind me. In the end I turned round and snapped 'what?' She said she just wanted to talk outside. I said whatever she had to say she could say it inside in front of people but i had nothing to say. She told me I was being childish and to just step out like an adult and we could sort things out. Friend 1 (trying but totally failing to help) stepped in and told her to just leave me alone and stop bothering me. Softzilla said this was between us and that she wasn't bothering me. That was when I raised my voice and said that she was bothering me and id had enough and went to turn away when she put her hand on my arm to stop me and shouted at me to 'stop being such an idiot '. It's at that point the group leader interrupted and suggested we drop this now and that maybe we should go home and cool down. I went to get my stuff. She stayed with softzilla and helped her till she was out the door and then came over to me. That's when she said I was ok to come back next week as long as this was left at the door. I said thanks and that I would like to come back but that I hadn't brought it here, and tried to drop it, so tho I was happy to forget about it I couldn't answer for her. She just made a sympathetic noise/face and I left it.

OP posts:
HouseworkIsASin10 · 04/05/2018 12:06

Told you, dog with a bone. Harassment order?

kissthealderman · 04/05/2018 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

gamerchick · 04/05/2018 12:10

Do not email her to apologise. Next week I will hazard a guess she will ignore you or not turn up. If she messages or rings you tell her you’ll have to deal with this harassment formally and she’s to leave you alone now.

Preparefortroublemakeitdouble · 04/05/2018 12:10

Been following this thread. Please do not message her to apologise. She was harassing you. From now on I would make a note of all messages and what happened today. She sounds very unstable

UnexpectedItemInShaggingArea · 04/05/2018 12:13

Don't email her. You have done nothing wrong. You have nothing to be ashamed of. She doesn't have the right to demand you 'step outside' or override your desire to supervise your own DC.

Block her on SM etc.

If she continues to harass you then tell her you'll report her to the police.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 04/05/2018 12:13

I meant message the group leader. People have been messaging but I'm too embarrassed to pick up

OP posts:
DragonMummy1418 · 04/05/2018 12:14

She sounds bananas!
Just send her a link to this thread, she'll soon see how mental she's being!

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 12:18

I’ve followed these threads from the beginning and she is fucking awful. I’d be really upset that she’d made out it was your doing today. I would message the group leader and explain what went wrong this morning and that you had repeatedly and calmly told her you wanted to leave it and move on. It’s not right at all that you have been tarred with the same brush as her, especially since her behaviour is beyond outrageous!

Pannacott · 04/05/2018 12:19

Oh my gosh. That sounds absolutely horrible for you. I'd have lost my shit when she touched me.

Do you feel like the group leader / everyone else sees it as her harassing you? Was that obvious from what was happening - was everyone aware or was it under the radar?

Please please don't email her. You were massively provoked and all you did was ask her to leave you alone. I really think that is the message you should continue with. Anything else cedes power to her and sets up a 'we were both in the wrong' narrative, which is not true, and which she really needs right now, but does tarnish how others might see you.

gamerchick · 04/05/2018 12:19

OP you’ve done nothing wrong. Anybody would have snapped in your position.

Wondermoomin · 04/05/2018 12:20

Wow how embarrassing Blush but I don't really blame you for reaching snapping point. Yes send a message to the group leader. Thanks

Pannacott · 04/05/2018 12:24

Oh yes messaging group leader makes more sense.

And do speak to some of your friends, I'm sure you'll feel much better once they can reassure you that it was obvious that you were being harassed and no one is judging you.

StormTreader · 04/05/2018 12:28

I would suggest asking friend #1 to message the group leader, since she was a witness to SZ badgering you repeatedly. Why on earth is the leader not telling SZ to leave you alone?

Lizzie48 · 04/05/2018 12:37

Yes to messaging the group leader, and copy in friend 1, she'll back up your version of events. And I think you should consider seeking legal advice about taking out a harassment order against this woman. She could potentially be dangerous.

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 12:37

Also agree that friend 1 can help, she knows the background and also saw what happened today.

TomRavenscroft · 04/05/2018 12:40

Christ. She's unhinged. Definitely think about legal advice. I wouldn't apologise; no fucking way.

Nanny0gg · 04/05/2018 12:40

I don't get it.

When someone clearly shows that they want to pretty much avoid you, don't want to talk to you and are happy with a distance, why would you keep on? Why would you embarrass yourself?

MimpiDreams · 04/05/2018 12:46

Until now I was feeling a bit sorry for Softzilla and her need to ... I dunno what. But now I think she's bloody scary. I'd be really frightened if someone was following me around like that. And grabbing your arm to stop you walking away, I'd have had a complete meltdown over that.

I don't know what to say other than 'this is not normal, balanced behaviour'.

Laiste · 04/05/2018 12:56

Yes to emailing the group leader. More to explain than apologise though.

This has gone a bit beyond ... normal awkward group politics.

Not sure what to advise. It would be easy to withdraw from the whole lot to get away from this woman. But why should you!? This is her doing. She’s not right in the head...

Motoko · 04/05/2018 12:58

God, she really wants to get you on your own, doesn't she?

You have nothing to apologise for. I do think you should email the group leader and fill her in. She shouldn't have told you to go as well, you were trying to avoid Softzilla. Why do you feel embarrassed? It wasn't your fault, and she needed to be told forcefully to leave you alone, as she's ignored all your other attempts.

Answer the messages from your friends, they'll be wanting to know you're ok.

Laiste · 04/05/2018 13:00

She needs to be told to drop this now. How many of the group do you feel realise what she’s like? Could you ask your safest friends to tell the group leader that’s its not you causing the trouble ?

Smeddum · 04/05/2018 13:04

Answer the messages from your friends, they'll be wanting to know you're ok

I agree with this OP, you’ve nothing to be embarrassed about. I’d have snapped a lot sooner and a LOT harder so I think you’ve been remarkably restrained and dignified (I should learn to do that Grin)

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