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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Softzilla returns..... to soft play

999 replies

Unreasonableunreasonableness · 24/04/2018 19:57

Probably will be a boring thread as i mainly intend to continue just ignoring and refusing to be drawn in to any games but...

Guess where I went today? And who I bumped into there? (I really need to find another place to hang out with people! )
Well she was there when I turned up with party mum. We greeted her with a surprised slightly awkward 'oh... hi!' which she returned, but then sat at a different table.
Later in the afternoon when I'd got home she called and i picked up without thinking. She said she wanted to chat and make it so that we could start going to our usual group again - she seemed to be under the impression that I was no longer going. And asked if she could come over right then. I said no sorry as it was time for dinner/ bath/ bed etc for my dc. I also told her that I was still attending the group and that she didn't need to worry about attending, I joked that it's big enough for both of us..... and she put the phone down. I wondered if it was a mistake but she never called back if it was and I don't want to call her.

OP posts:
Clutterbugsmum · 27/04/2018 06:51

More importantly, it leaves her the chance to spread her "version" of events, ie. lies and gossip. She can spread all the lies she likes, unfortunately for her there are at least 3 other friends who have witness Softzilla behaviour towards OP to be able to dismiss her antics as a trouble maker.

The OP has tried many times to draw a line under this and move on from nothing this, I do wonder if one or two of the other friends actually were to tell Softzilla to stop the crap that nothing happen and even though nothing happen other then her own bizarre behaviour that she may stop hassling OP when she see that other do not believe her.

Dobby1sAFreeElf · 27/04/2018 07:28

Damnit unreasonable doesn't your plumber understand there's a load of people on Mumsnet who need you to be somewhere else Grin.

If youre worried about what she may say about you absence maybe make a Facebook post (I'm sure you mentioned Facebook in a previous thread but if not ignore this) saying something about being annoyed you have to wait for a plumber again. If anyone asks you can refer them to that.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 27/04/2018 11:20

Well I couldn't go in the end, though I'm guessing that she did as I had a message from her;
'Are you ok?'
(I also had a couple messages from others I normally see there, but friend 1was there and knew why I wasn't. I haven't spoken to her.)

OP posts:
Weezol · 27/04/2018 11:24

Sod Softzilla - have you actually found the holy grail that is a decent plumber?

LaContessaDiPlump · 27/04/2018 11:34

Reply "Yep, totally fine! Had a leak and had to wait in for plumber - very annoying. Hopefully will be along to group next week! See you then, unreasonable"

Nothing there that she can point to as evidence of your dastardliness....

LaContessaDiPlump · 27/04/2018 11:35

What were the messages from other friends about, if you don't mind Nosy Parker here asking? Grin

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 27/04/2018 11:37

weezol More a company of plumbers etc. They are local and also do our boiler and gas fire services. They are coming in and gradually solving the issues caused by the previous plumber we had inHmm

OP posts:
Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 27/04/2018 11:42

Just checking I was ok. It's normal if you miss a group without warning that you get a couple of texts asking if everything is ok. Last time I missed cos I was ill I had a couple of offers to look after dc so i could rest up. Most of the people who go are nice and kind people. Though most I don't know well enough to actually take them up on their offer, but maybe I'm picky.

OP posts:
Weezol · 27/04/2018 11:43

I am a jealous, envious Weezol. A whole company of them .

BreakfastAtSquiffanys · 27/04/2018 11:46

A plumber fixing a leak is the ultimate in drip feeds!

LaContessaDiPlump · 27/04/2018 11:47

I'd take them up on such offers frankly op; I had 2 DC v close together and lost all my pride qualms very quickly! If I offer to help I genuinely mean it, so I imagine others do too. We've all been there.

They sound like a nice group of friends (bar one look obv).

LaContessaDiPlump · 27/04/2018 11:47

One LOON!!

OverTheHedgeHammy · 27/04/2018 11:47

Complete derail here. Weezol - I've finally found out the best way to find people like plumbers, etc. The other parents and coaches at your children's sporting clubs. I can't BELIEVE the number of tilers, roofers, builders, plumbers etc I have met or heard of through them....

Football and Cricket seem to be the best ones though.

paranoidpammywhammy2 · 27/04/2018 12:02

I have two single, good looking, very over qualified plumbers to choose from! They are always busy but always come on the days when they are supposed to and let me know if they are running late.

I think Softzilla wants you as her friend. She sounds very focused on you. I think you need to stop being so polite to her. If you were good friends then I could understand her persistence. But you're not and never have been.

I think you need to have a good, clear conversation to clear the air. You need to make it clear that you have done nothing wrong and you have nothing to apologise for. I think you also need to confront her on what she has done and ask why she has lied.

DadDadDad · 27/04/2018 12:09

A plumber fixing a leak is the ultimate in drip feeds!

Grin Brilliant, Breakfast !

sonjadog · 27/04/2018 12:24

I agree with paranoid. I think Softzilla wants you to be close friends. As I said before, I think if you continue to be vague, she will go on and on. If I were you, and if I wanted to ended this, I would send a clear message to her and then block/screen.

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 27/04/2018 14:33

So one of the others after asking if I was ok has made a comment 'we were surprised you didn't reply to softzilla when she messaged you at group '. So she obviously did it with an audience.

OP posts:
Dobby1sAFreeElf · 27/04/2018 14:36

I hope you replied that you were a tad busy dealing with the situation at hand and that messages and calls are not summons

Gemini69 · 27/04/2018 14:40

why would they be surprised Hmm why would anyone be sat watching to see if you respond... she's definitely trying to divide and conquer and turning you into a laughing stock..... I wouldn't respond to that comment either OP... anything to do with Softzilla I would blank and put nothing in text about her either.. don't feed the Beast... STARVE it Flowers

Original poster
Unreasonableunreasonableness · 27/04/2018 14:45

I am suspecting from other things that person has said that she may have been with softzilla when she was messaging. I can't put my finger on why though so could be paranoia.

OP posts:
Wineandpyjamas · 27/04/2018 14:56

She probably made quite a business about the fact she was texting you, eg loudly saying “I’m just messaging @unreasonable to check she’s ok” etc. Then made an equally big thing when she didn’t hear back “Oh she still hasn’t texted back, hope everything’s alright” and so on.

Honestly she’s just mad. I would maybe either message the friend and say you’ve had a bit of a manic morning with the leak etc or just ignore and blank.

Laiste · 27/04/2018 14:57

Do you mean you think they were with SZ when they texted saying they were surprised you didn’t reply to SZ? Like SZ had asked them to say it?

Laiste · 27/04/2018 14:58

Does that question even make sense? ! Grin

ChiefSuspect · 27/04/2018 14:59

Are you going to reply? That's a bit of a weird message, and tbh I would trust your instinct.

Perhaps a breezy 'I was a little busy! See you next week', although maybe ignoring is the way to go.

Hopefully the rest of the group won't get dragged into softzilla's pathological need for ongoing drama.

Was your nice friend there? Can you find out what softzilla's antics were without making a fuss?

ReanimatedSGB · 27/04/2018 15:12

Yeah, she would have made a big drama out of messaging you - 'She hasn't replied, hope everything's all right.' Then, a bit later 'She still hasn't replied' (brave sniff and biting of lip) 'Do you think she's still upset about... things? Do you think she (additional brave sniff) hates me?'

And no one is snarky enough (unlike me) to ask her if she wants a hanky...