To think she's too old for this?

[Cheeseboard89]

My MIL is 66, and I just don’t think shes dressing for her age. She has this obsession of staying “young”, hates being called gran and told my DC off for calling her that. She thinks gran is “too old” and wants to be called Nan instead. She wears really short dresses during the summer and at Christmas parties, the dresses literally just cover her bum and if she bends over you will be able to see it, not only that but her boobs are hanging out. Today she came round in black leggings/tights (I could see her knickers, they were like blackish see through) a pink hoodie with holes and brown ugg boots.

AIBU to think she should just embrace her age and be happy? I’ve met her younger sister, couple years younger than MIL and they’re worlds apart.

Does she come onto all your male friends and upset their girlfriends/wives/partners/boyfriends/husbands?

Does she insist of rubbing up against them when she passes anything male?

You're complaining about how she dresses? It could be a lot worse!

OTOH my MIL has always dressed in an 'ageing' way, even when she was in her 30s apparently... . Think M&S straight legged classic trousers, dreadfully prim cardigans and awful unstylish and unflattering shoes that make her look like she is about 90, not 70-something. She also made my DH dress in ridiculous clothes when he was growing up, plus she cut his hair with an actual bloody bowl (I honestly didn't ever think people actually DID that...!)

I love the fact my DM is nothing like this at all, and dresses in a really cool way in Joules, White Stuff and Fat Face clothes. I know who I'd rather be seen with!

Your mil isn’t old and even if she was, it’s really up to her what she wears. You don’t have to like it. It doesn’t sound very tasteful, but perhaps she is unhappy about not being 21 any more and is wanting to turn the clock back.

I’m not sure what you thought Mumsnetters would say - if you were seeking endorsement and agreement you were looking in the wrong place, I fear.

leggere

I just don’t think shes dressing for her age.
She has this obsession of staying “young”
not only that but her boobs are hanging out
She reminds me of an older Rose in keeping up appearances.

Because those are things you say about someone you're fond of to complete Internet strangers. Of course.

Leave her be. She can wear what she likes and it's nothing to do with you. You sound spiteful.

Leave the poor lady alone. Lots of people of all ages dress inappropriately. Not so much for their age but for their size.

I am Grandma and I love it when 5 overexcited DGD spill out of the car calling "Grandma"Grandma". Then lots of hugs and kisses.

I work full time and love my work but truly the best job in the world is being Grandma.

My mother is 71 and tends towards dash, Seasalt and Fat Face. We have talked about how she looks younger now than she did in the 80's, when a lot of women essentially dressed the same as their mothers once they hit 30.

The pleated skirts, the frilled blouses...she wouldn't be seen dead in them now.

Maybe stop scrutinising your MIL so that you are less likely to be able to discuss her clothes in such forensic detail.

I think we are all guilty of a fashion faux pas at some time or another. Leave her be. If she's happy then who are you to slate her? I'm 51, I live in jeans and tee shirts, the occasional hoodie. I wear above the knee skirts/dresses which show a wee bit of cleavage, if you've got it, flaunt it!

My children (29 and 20) have informed me that when they have children I'm to be called Nanny Badcrumble!

I have skinny legs and thighs and I'd look ridiculous if I just wore see through tights/leggings without a skirt or dress. No one looks good in see through leggings. It's not that she's dressing "too young" for her age, but rather she has poor taste in fashion.

Just let her be.

Is she struggling with ageing? What is her behaviour like?

Like a poster up thread, I also think 'nan' is way more ageing than Granny but her choice.

Her clothes choices sound a bit naff as opposed to wrong. Did she know you could see her knickers through the tights/leggings? If she swapped them for skinny jeans or jeggings its a similar style but more appropriate than see through at any age. Could you take her shopping, suggest fitted/hint of cleavage as opposed to puppies on platter. Suggest above the knee is a bit more classy than flashing her bottom.

Is she struggling with ageing?

Sounds to me like she has no problem whatsoever with ageing, but only with judgy people who think that women should dress a certain way once they hit a certain age.

She's dressing in clothes she likes and saying "fuck you" to the world. Good for her.

Idontdowindows

100%

What the heck has it got to do with you how she dresses OP?

I suppose OP if you don't want to be misunderstood as an ageist meany you should perhaps leave off starting ageist meany threads? Just a suggestion.

This is brilliant. AIBU.

OP: AIBU about this particular thing, X (in this case, 66yo wearing 'young' clothes)

MN: YABU... piss off

OP : No... but actually it's not about X it's Y (it's actually about her arse on display....)

MN: PISSS OFFFFFFFFF

If it was about her arse on display you would have said "AIBU to be offended by someone flashing their arse around my kids," which would be totally understandable.
You didn't frame it in that way at all, you said "to think she's too old for this" and mentioned her age and ageing repeatedly, suggesting it would be fine for her to be flashing her arse if she was 26 instead of 66.

Bloody hell, judgy or what? At 64 and a soon to be granny - no fucking nan around here, thanks - I wonder if my soon to be (step) daughter in law says this about me. I'd sooner die than wear beige and my clothes tend to come from Cos and Monki, I love my leopard print coat, leather biker jacket and boots. Does that come under the heading of "too young", OP?

loving your style Bluelady. Never heard of Monki though, I shall take a look

“Is she struggling with ageing?“

Self evidently no!

Nobody suggests Helen Mirren is “dressing too young” do they? So why is it ok when it’s someone else? Just because you don’t like her style, doesn’t mean you can put her down.

I'm 66 and dismayed how elderly my DIL dresses, however I have told her she is too young to wear a fleece, she just laughs at me and tells me I'm too old to wear over the knee shiny boots!

Smeddum, never seen Helen in very short dresses showing her pants or pink holed hoody? God, there's some exaggerations on this thread! As I said before, YANBU, OP. Still don't know what to advise though, don't think you'll get much help on here unfortunately.

Thanks GreatDuck, Monki is ace, half my wardrobe comes from there now.