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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s just so unfair? *MNHQ trigger warning*

283 replies

WoodysRoundup · 23/04/2018 14:27

I’m basically on suspension from work whilst there’s an investigation as I was raped by a colleague and informed the managers.

But I’m on a zero hour contract with no time line of how long this will last, whether we’ll both be let go, or anything. I’m not working so I can’t get paid and I’m so frustrated that I can’t do my job and earn money like I’m the one in the wrong.

I’m sorry everyone I just needed to rant

OP posts:
Original poster
WoodysRoundup · 23/04/2018 17:36

Know what, forget it. I don’t know how people expect you to process what’s happened and make the perfect decisions on what to do as soon as something like this happens

OP posts:
EdmundCleverClogs · 23/04/2018 17:36

WoodysRoundup, would you mind replying to my previous post?

captainBligh · 23/04/2018 17:37

@Smeddum

and if not covered then ... ?

Not having a policy to cover every eventuality is not something that a company can or should be punished for.

Having a policy but deviating from it is not something that a company can or should be punished for.

Acting in accordance with the law is all that matters.

What difference will seeing a policy make?

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 17:37

@WoodysRoundup if stepping back from the thread is what you need to do (and I wouldn’t blame you) then do that.

If you’re up to it, there are many organisations out there to support women in your position and also offer practical and legal advice. Try calling when you’re ready and you can go from there.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 17:38

@captainBligh if it’s not covered then it’s not covered. Who said anything about punishing them if it’s not?

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 17:38

You’ve been through an awful ordeal, but your expectations of your employers aren’t realistic. You have very few rights, they owe you very little.

DrTorres · 23/04/2018 17:39

Actually they can be punished for not complying with a policy. Otherwise what would be the point?

For example. If a policy is not stated to be non-contractual and an employee successfully argues that it forms part of their contract the company can find itself on the end of a breach of contract claim for deviating from it

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 17:39

Having a policy but deviating from it is not something that a company can or should be punished for.

Oh yes it can. That’s what Tribunals are doing every day!

captainBligh · 23/04/2018 17:40

"if it’s not covered then it’s not covered"

Yes. If it is and they act differently then it also means fuck all.

The only pertinent question is if their actions are lawful.

I'll try again,

What difference will seeing a policy make?

Original poster
WoodysRoundup · 23/04/2018 17:41

I think it is harder for you all to understand how betrayed i feel as you don’t know the relationship with managers /staff in our work place. We spend 12+ hours together a day, stay in each others houses, eat together every day. We are extremely close, my AGM was the person who’s house i went straight to after it happened. That’s why I feel so incredibly let down by them as managers and as friend

OP posts:
captainBligh · 23/04/2018 17:41

No Tit.

Tribunals have little / nothing to do with policy. They have different standards with regard evidence and different protocols but they are still only concerned with law.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 17:42

@captainBligh finding out if it is covered or not and if so, what rights the OP has.

Why are you so determined to have a go?

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2018 17:42

I understand you not going to the police, and I think your work has behaved badly. But with no police investigation it’s only your word against his, they can’t sack him without evidence, and the whole thing will likely just be shelved. Realistically that’s what’s going to happen.

wrenika · 23/04/2018 17:43

Surely this is a matter for the police. Your employer has got you both out so that they can investigate, but there's only so much investigating they can do. Surely, unless he expressly admits to rape, he can't be sacked...you can't just go sacking people because someone says that they did something! If he says that he did not commit rape, then what can the company do. Sacking him because another staff member says he did such and such outside of work would be grossly unfair unless there is a proper record of actions, allegations, and police involvement.
Put simply, this is not a job for your work to resolve - this is a job for the police, and then your work can make an educated decision following through.

sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/04/2018 17:43

What you need OP is support to get through this ordeal. There are many organisations out there that can help you with this. You also need help to understand what your employers can actually do, which is very likely not going to be what you want. You then need help to decide what you wish to do in regard to employment. I would suggest the you visit your DR and get a sickness certificate, if your employers can't pay you sick pay you may then be entitled to benefits. that way at least you have an income whilst you take time recovering and deciding what you wish to do.

EdmundCleverClogs · 23/04/2018 17:43

WoodysRoundup, sorry to ask again, would you mind answering

Saturday night I went into work not working and was asked about it by a friend, I got upset, GM kicked me out it.

So you got upset and the manager kicked you out on Friday, then you went back and the exact same thing happened on Saturday?

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2018 17:47

I don’t know why you think we don’t understand how betrayed you feel. I’ve been raped myself, I’ve no doubt other women here have too. It’s just that with the best will in the world we can’t make your workplace provide the outcome you want if you don’t report it to the police.

captainBligh · 23/04/2018 17:47

@Smeddum

"Why are you so determined to have a go?"

Because stupid and irrelevant comments mean the OP's limited energies are diverted from where they are needed.

She has a big problem (for several reasons, none her fault) but reading through policies is worse than pointless.

MullinerSpec · 23/04/2018 17:48

This is awful and my heart goes out to you. Keep strong and I hope this ends soon.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 17:49

@captainBligh how can checking company policy be “stupid and irrelevant”? I fail to see how it is either of those things.

In any case, given the grilling OP has had, I doubt she’s had the support she needs. Which is pretty appalling.

DrTorres · 23/04/2018 17:49

Captain you’ve made a fair few of those yourself though. Like saying that companies can’t be punished for not complying with their own policies. That is simply not the case.

itsbetterthanabox · 23/04/2018 17:52

Op I'm so sorry this arsehole did this to you.
If you feel up to it then set up a meeting with HR and explain it all to them. Join a union and take the rep along with you.
I'm disgusted but not surprised your workplace think it's fine to not pay you in the situation.
Assault of colleague is clearly gross misconduct and there are definitely grounds to dismiss him.
Can you speak to rape crisis? If you do want to go to the police they can advise and support you in doing that and you can make a decision that's best for you.

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 17:53

Tribunals have little / nothing to do with policy. They have different standards with regard evidence and different protocols but they are still only concerned with law.

The first thing any tribunal wants to know is did the employer follow its own policies. Hmm

MissusGeneHunt · 23/04/2018 17:54

@Woodysroundup, so very sorry to hear what's going on, please do contact Rape Crisis, they are incredibly helpful. They maybe able to then advise further. Take care.

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 17:54

The other employee absolutely can be sacked even without a confirmed prosecution. There just has to be some evidence that it happened and he can be sacked for breach of trust and confidence.

Why do people with no idea about employment law insist on posting shite?