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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think it’s just so unfair? *MNHQ trigger warning*

283 replies

WoodysRoundup · 23/04/2018 14:27

I’m basically on suspension from work whilst there’s an investigation as I was raped by a colleague and informed the managers.

But I’m on a zero hour contract with no time line of how long this will last, whether we’ll both be let go, or anything. I’m not working so I can’t get paid and I’m so frustrated that I can’t do my job and earn money like I’m the one in the wrong.

I’m sorry everyone I just needed to rant

OP posts:
sweeneytoddsrazor · 23/04/2018 17:55

@WoodsyRoundup of course you feel betrayed, but your managers have to put personal feelings to one side and be professional. Please go and get some proper support.

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2018 17:59

The other employee absolutely can be sacked even without a confirmed prosecution. There just has to be some evidence that it happened and he can be sacked for breach of trust and confidence.

Of course they can but in a case like this there will be no evidence - that’s the point. Doesn’t have to proceed to prosecution she just needs to report it.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 18:00

@TatianaLarina actually if he’s on a zero hours contract she doesn’t need to do anything. They can simply not offer shifts. This is what DPs former company did to all their staff to bully them into accepting every shift offered.

SusieSusieSoo · 23/04/2018 18:01

Hi OP I would get some legal advice. There must be a sex discrimination argument here. You're the victim but you are not allowed to go to work. If you are not being paid then that's just not right.

If you can't afford a solicitor (you may have legal expenses cover on home insurance?) then contact Acas and ask them to help you via early conciliation. They can speak to your employer directly. Thanks

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 18:01

The OP has said elsewhere that he has admitted it to his employers. That may have been under duress, but that could count as evidence.

captainBligh · 23/04/2018 18:01

Tit

Policies mean nothing if not legal and that is the only concern.

Following a policy benefits an organisation because they trust the writer to have followed the law.

A tribunal doesn't blindly trust either party.

This is an irrelevant distraction for the OP.

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 18:02

Hi OP I would get some legal advice. There must be a sex discrimination argument here. You're the victim but you are not allowed to go to work. If you are not being paid then that's just not right.

FFS. Not any of this is correct.

Pengggwn · 23/04/2018 18:05

SusieSusieSoo

It has nothing to do with sex discrimination.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 18:06

Check if your employer has a grievance procedure. It might be on their website or in a staff handbook, or ask for a copy. You might prefer to follow their steps if they have a clear complaints procedure

CAB advises checking company policy.

Viviennemary · 23/04/2018 18:07

I read some of your other thread. And this took place outside work which must put your employers in a difficult position although I don't think they've handled it very well. You really need to report this to the police. But best practical thing is to get signed off by your doctor and at least you can get statutory sick pay if you aren't entitled to sick pay from work.

Parker231 · 23/04/2018 18:09

What have the police said?

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 18:10

OP has said repeatedly she doesn’t want to involve the police. Why are people so intent on pushing it?

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2018 18:11

They can simply not offer shifts. This is what DPs former company did to all their staff to bully them into accepting every shift offered.

Sure, but that’s a different issue to Titty’s point that a police prosecution is not necessary for a company to find someone guilty of breach of trust and sack him - or terminate further contracts.

Cakedoesntjudge · 23/04/2018 18:12

I'm sorry this is happening to you OP, I've not read your other threads but from what you've said on this one about how close you are I can well imagine how betrayed you must be feeling which, on top of everything else, is the last thing you should have to be dealing with.

Practically work wise, the only thing I could possibly suggest is to speak to a lawyer. Find a local one and call them and briefly outline the situation and ask, if you were to instruct them on your behalf, would you be likely to be liable for the cost or could you recover it from the company. The initial enquiry shouldn't cost you anything and they'd be able to tell you if you have a case.

If you do manage to get the job back I'd still start job hunting immediately if I were you. I couldn't work for a company treating me like this. Yes I take people's points that HR has to tread carefully and I actually agree with that but they should be explaining things to you every step of the way.

In the mean time be kind to yourself. You'll get through the other side of this but it takes time Flowers

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2018 18:12

Why are people so intent on pushing it?

They’re not. I think everyone understands why rape victims don’t go to the police. It’s simply that, in this particular circumstance, the outcome she wants from her workplace is highly unlikely without a police report.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 18:12

@TatianaLarina I know that, but OP has said she’s on a zero hour contract and hasn’t said he isn’t so it’s a reasonable assumption to think it is as simple as not giving him shifts.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 18:13

@TatianaLarina I think she understood that after the first onslaught.

This thread has really upset me, I’m horrified at the lack of empathy, the badgering and the chivvying at a vulnerable woman during a very stressful time. It is not how someone who has just been raped should be treated. Ever.

Viviennemary · 23/04/2018 18:14

People are intent on pushing the fact that the police should be informed because rape is a crime and therefore should be dealt with by the police whose job is to investigate crime. Workplaces aren't really equipped to carry out an investigation into this especially as it didn't happen at work. IMHO.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 18:15

@Viviennemary and when a woman who has already had control over her life removed in the worst way has repeatedly said she isn’t up to going to the police?

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2018 18:17

a reasonable assumption to think it is as simple as not giving him shift

But only if they find evidence agasint him. Without that they don’t have any reason to.

Viviennemary · 23/04/2018 18:19

Then she should go to a rape crisis centre and ask for their advice on what she should do and what her position is regarding her rights at work. If they don't know well then perhaps they could put her in touch with somebody who does know what her legal rights are. I don't mean to be unsympathetic but I don't think this can be dealt with adequately by employers.

notapizzaeater · 23/04/2018 18:19

It's awful of you and not nice, but they can't just sack the bloke based on your say so. He is innocent until proven guilty In a court of law 😢

TittyGolightly · 23/04/2018 18:21

Workplaces aren't really equipped to carry out an investigation into this especially as it didn't happen at work.

It’s a completely different type of investigation.

OP should have raised a formal grievance against the other employee. That gets investigated and if there is a case to be answered the employee concerned would be taken through the disciplinary procedures.

The burden of proof is completely different.

TatianaLarina · 23/04/2018 18:22

I can’t say I know what OP thinks smeddon tbh.

I think rape threads are generally upsetting, that’s why they have trigger warnings.

Smeddum · 23/04/2018 18:23

@TatianaLarina actually that’s exactly what a zero hour contract means. It means they legally owe you zero hours. So if there are no shifts on offer the employee has no comeback. That’s why they’re shit, most of the time, but in this instance it could work out to be fair.