To consider bringing my DP with me?

[Tobringornottobring]

Am meeting up with a small group of friends soon for afternoon tea and catch up.

The venue selected is about 25 miles from me; the major part of that journey is on one of the busiest motorways in the country.

I'm a relatively inexperienced driver. I use my car daily on my own but it's all town driving, with some dual carriageway. I have driven a couple of times briefly on the motorway but I've always had someone with me.

I've never driven to this place and I am apprehensive. I've offered to car share with another friend (they drive to me, then I drive) but they've said they've got some errands to run so are going early. The others going are travelling from other directions, so are further from me than the venue.

My DP doesn't have any plans and would happily accompany me in the car, or indeed drive me if I preferred (but I'd like to try the drive for my own confidence) DP gets on well with my friends but I don't want to be the person who always brings her partner along....

That said I'm really apprehensive about doing the drive on my own if I don't. Wwyd?

OP - you have answered your own question!
You all moaned about your friend who used to bring her DP.....

The car that nearly drive into me. That was on a Sunday morning.

As I've said I think I have my plan.

I will speak to DP. If he doesn't want to kill a couple of hours on his own then I won't bring him.

I'll either suggest a different venue, or just politely decline.

As the calibration in cars is always a few mph out the sensible advice is to stick just below, that way you never risk going over and incurring penalties.

The calibration in speedometers is indeed imperfect, but it should always, always be measuring high, not low - if yours isn't it's illegal.

Then what about the next time? Or if you want to go on holiday? Or you HAVE to be somewhere along the motorway in an emergency? You'll still be stuck like you are now (literally!)

The black box makes my car affordable. Without it my premium would be well over £1k a year.

Your making a mountain out of a mole hill to be honest. Just get in the car and drive. If any of my friends agreed to go somewhere and then changed there mind because they didn’t like the drive I would think there being over dramatic.

Just get your DP to drive you and he can go shopping for a couple of hours, don’t take him. Everyone hates the one that brings there partner when it’s meant to be all girls

It’s a shame if you have to decline and miss out on what could be a lovely afternoon with friends. Succumbing to fear can take so many opportunities away from people

Longer term I have already said I'll look into motorway lessons

There's usually some flexibility built into those black boxes, by the way.

It's not sitting there with the dibble on speed dial if you do 1 or 2 mph over the limit.

Obviously, you can't take the piss, but they do allow for the occasional bit of 'keeping up with the flow of traffic' stuff before the insurance company start making adjustments.

I really think you need to conquer this nervousness. The only way to stop being an inexperienced driver is to do more driving alone. What would happen if you were driving a route you’re familiar with and due to a crash/roadworks/anything, you get diverted onto a road you’re scared of? If you’re driving, you need to be prepared to drive on all roads/in all conditions.

I know DP would have no interest in shopping for a couple of hours. And he couldn't sleep comfortably in my car. He might have some other ideas of how to amuse himself though.

Could he bring his laptop/tablet and watch a film in the car?

He might have some other ideas of how to amuse himself though

Hope you get it all sorted and can still enjoy your afternoon with the girls.

Don't be that helpless woman who cant drive a few miles without a man! We are fighting for equality.

I'm cringing a bit at the idea of an adult who is seemingly incapable of amusing themselves for a couple of hours to be honest. Of course he could find something to do! Weird dynamics here imo.

I don't drive over 65 because of my insurance, I will get penalised if I break the speed limit. Anyone with a black box does the same!

65 mph on a clear motorway?
...I'm glad we don't have black box insurance! it would add about an hour to our regular long journey at a quiet time of day (assuming we are driving at 75 mph).

Yes after I wrote that last sentence I realised it could have been phrased better

I don't really know the area that well. There may well be something to do in striking distance.

I should say I don't need a man with me as such. I could and would have driven with my friend indeed I expected I would to save us both driving a similar journey.

FFS OP stop being such a princess and get on the motorway. If your DH really cant entertain himself for a few hours then the two of you sound like a right useless pair.

What about getting a taxi one way and DP taking or collecting you?

Please don’t let a couple of shitty drivers change your plans so much.

You’re a new driver. That’s why you’re nervous. I guarantee you that if you weren’t, the things you are talking about wouldn’t worry you at all.

Stay on the inside lane and keep an appropriate distance. Don’t worry about other people overtaking. Slow down when you need to. Don’t take DH, now or whenever you don’t need to. You need to get your experience and confidence driving on your own. I’m not sure why you want him anyway - do you mean to chauffeur you there and back?

Some of these comments are really unnecessary and uncalled for. Check you all out with your perfect lives and zero fears....

You're going to have to start driving on your own eventually, why not get it over with? It's never as bad as you think!

Alternatively, could you contact the friend who lives nearby and explain your situation, maybe you could accompany her on her errands?