To not go to this meal?

[HopefullyAnonymous]

We are booked to go for a family meal for DHs gran’s birthday today, full extended family event. Have just seen on social media that my niece has come down with the dreaded pox, however they are still planning on coming to the meal.

My DCs haven’t had chicken pox yet. I’m currently working away during the week and only home for weekends, and DH struggles to take time off work so childcare is delicately balanced. We can’t affort for them to have the time off school at the moment.

I’ve said the children won’t be coming to the meal now, although DH can obviously still go. MIL has absolutely hit the roof and thinks I’m being ridiculous. Am I?

@mummabubs no worries.

YANBU our DD daughter got chicken pox 5 days before her 5th birthday party! Had to re-arrange as there were some pregnant mums some new mums and lots of young children in a public place (bowling), DD was very upset to say the least but its not fair to other people, we re-arranged for after she was no longer infectious, only for her to get Shingles straight after!!!! (Didn’t know it was that at first though!) As another poster said what about Shingles (can be very debilitating for the elderly. I am surprised the Doctor hasn’t warned them to stay away from at risk groups. It would be more sensible for them to stay at home and do something else with the Birthday girl when the CP has cleared up.

YANBU. Definitely! The mother of the chicken poxy baby is BU but if the baby’s presence is inevitable then so is the MIL’ s insistence on others’ attendance.

Make any excuse you like or even tell the truth and risk a family breach but do not attend. What if the baby infects the birthday girl and sees her off?

Glad they didn't go. Shame they didn't let you know though.

Probably on purpose.

Wow. I'm immunocompromised and it still shocks me that people would consider taking their infectious children to public places.

I don’t believe airlines let you fly with chickenpox. So why would you go anywhere where there at lots of people! Wrong and selfish

Time to start sending out some informative emails

Right, there is one of these people in most families - please pack it in, it’s passive aggressive. If they’re stupid enough to take an infectious child out in public they will ignore your email and you just look like the angry aunt Alice.

I'm with you op

I’m 22, have never had chicken pox and am on corticosteroids.... I’m so glad your S thinks it’s okay to endanger my life.

I got it at 21 just before a holiday to Kos. I was so desperate to go that all reason went out of my head so I can see how that can happen. My mum on the other hand told me in no uncertain terms that not only was I not fit to go and spend a week clubbing in Kos, I wouldnt be able to fly and I would be potentially infecting other people. She got me a doctors note so I got my money back (v cheap insurance) and I went on another holiday when I was better.

That is what your MIL needed a good dose of reality to bring her far more sensibly down to earth.

As it happened chicken pox as a 21 year old was awful really really awful

LemonysSnicket Can you get vaccinated? I found out in my early 30's I wasn't immune so had the vaccination.

We moved from uk to USA and i did some reading about the vaccine. It seems that the original vaccine wasn’t all that effective (it wore off) but they now do a booster shot a few years later. There’s reason to think that the two shot approach is effective but because it’s quite new, there’s no data on how these people do in adulthood yet.

Your not over reacting. I refused to allow my nephew to come to ny daughters christening as they werent sure if he was still contagious due to other potential guests not having had it before and that was having the reception at our home! Its not fair on other people to take ill children in public

Incredibly sellfish from your family. My friends DP died of chickenpox caught from a neighbour’s child. He was 39. Had not had it as a child. Was in the UK.

That's awful, cochineal7 CP does get very bad in adults, my DH and BIL were both very ill with it. It can be very serious and it's very serious to put others at risk by going out in public with CP.