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AIBU?

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Original poster

Should my boyfriend pick me up and drive me on weekends from work

98 replies

Blackbinsack · 21/04/2018 15:07

I work Saturday and Sunday live 5 mins from work but a good 20 mins walk. My partner and I live with my parents still. My step dad is very gentlemanly and would never dream of letting my mum walk. I don’t drive so see that me getting to work is upto me I normally cycle so takes me 10 mins max. Yes a lift is handy when it’s raining I’m ill or it’s dark and cold but i don’t really expect it. Pluss it’s his weekend so don’t want to ruin his lay in. When he dosnt take me my mum and dad always ask him why or question me on why he didn’t take me. Are my parents right that he should take me every weekend. If he dosnt take me my mum will Insist on it or give some reason why she has to come to work. She will also ask me what’s your boyfriend doing this morning. I always feels so awkward I’ve told my parents I don’t mind going myself but they keep mentioning that he should take me.

OP posts:
Ataterf · 21/04/2018 15:09

YANBU. Maybe tell your mum you prefer to cycle rather than "I don't mind"?

Oysterbabe · 21/04/2018 15:09

Tell them you prefer to walk. I love walking to work; listen to some music, time to myself, bit of exercise.

Fruitcorner123 · 21/04/2018 15:11

They have very old fashioned views. I assume he 2oukd take you if it was pouring with rain or you were injured or something.
There is no reason why you can't cycle otherwise! Just say you like the fresh air and exercise and ask them not to keep mentioning it.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 21/04/2018 15:11

Just tell them all you are a fully functioning adult and you will see them when you get home.

Quartz2208 · 21/04/2018 15:12

You are an adult women unless it’s v late at night or unsafe you are perfectly capable or walking home

To be honest this isn’t about your boyfriend but your parents treating you like a child who needs collecting

sonjadog · 21/04/2018 15:12

YANBU. You are not a little child to be dropped off and collected. You can do whatever you like. Tell them to drop it.

supercalifragilisticexpiali · 21/04/2018 15:12

20 minutes walk is nothing. They want to get a car out for that?!

Move out and they can't interfere!

AnneLovesGilbert · 21/04/2018 15:12

It’s nothing to do with them and he must be getting pretty pissed off with them banging on about it every weekend!

Tell them you’re perfectly happy getting yourself there and they don’t need to bring it up again. How tiring for it to keep being an issue.

As you say, he’s presumably working during the week and is entitled to a break at the weekend.

All very well your stepdad trying to look after your mum but I’d get the right hump if my husband didn’t “let” me walk somewhere as I’m capable of doing so.

TroubledLichen · 21/04/2018 15:13

You need to move out of your parents. Sorry not helpful but your parents are being ridiculous. Just tell them you like the walk though and hopefully they’ll stop mentioning it. Personally I love walking when the weather is nice, great exercise and time to yourself!

KeepServingTheDrinks · 21/04/2018 15:13

what they said ^.

Or learn to drive.

fluffiphlox · 21/04/2018 15:16

Twenty minutes. What’s that, about a mile? Keep waliking I say.

qwertyuiopy · 21/04/2018 15:31

Yes, keep walking and you'll live longer and have great bone density in later years! My 3 year old walks that to nursery!

mickeysminnie · 21/04/2018 15:33

If you normally cycle why does your mother insist on taking you on the weekend? What makes sat or sun any different than any other day?

CaraDeanna · 21/04/2018 15:35

I wouldn't dream of driving to work if it only takes 20 minutes to walk. It's great exercise, saves money, reduces pollution and is great for your health. The only time I would drive is if it is pouring with rain. YANBU.

happypoobum · 21/04/2018 15:35

Is your mum a bit, you know "helpless"?

Tell them you prefer to walk as it's great exercise and by the time boyfriend got up and ready you would be there anyway.

If it's raining hard is there a bus?

MudCity · 21/04/2018 15:36

You are right to walk. I would never expect someone to drive me somewhere which I can get to quite happily by myself. Especially if It is their day off.

Walking is good. Fitness, the environment, what’s not to like?

NerrSnerr · 21/04/2018 15:36

Was it you who had a thread about him picking you up but his car was in the garage? I wouldn’t expect a lift for a 29 minute walk, I’d prefer the fresh air and listen to music.

expatinscotland · 21/04/2018 15:39

'It’s nothing to do with them and he must be getting pretty pissed off with them banging on about it every weekend! '

Then he can move out of their house.

LondonJax · 21/04/2018 15:44

I wouldn't even expect a lift it was raining with that small distance.

DS walked that to nursery and has the same walk to school. DH uses the car for his hour's drive to work so rain or shine we walk.

My mum was like that (expecting a lift everywhere even if my dad was busy).

Keep on with the bike - it's good for you and the environment.

RedSkyAtNight · 21/04/2018 15:46

In our house no one would be getting the car out for a distance of a mile unless it was very late at night or they were physically incapacitated. So anyone driving you to work is plainly ridiculous.

I also have a similar distance to work, and my DH will sometimes walk towards work and meet me coming part way home - but he does this because he wants to see me and we enjoy walking together, not because he thinks I'm incapable.

TammyWhyNot · 21/04/2018 15:50

Show them your legs. Explain how they work. They will be amazed! You could even put on a little display, one foot in front of the other and then move on to some tricky stuff. Bit of a jog, walk backwards, simple dance move etc.

Then tell them to mind their own business.

SilverHairedCat · 21/04/2018 15:51

It's 2018. You need to explain that times have changed and you don't want to be infantilised or have your time controlled by someone else.

It does sound like it's time for you two to move on from your parents home as well.

Lemontart25 · 21/04/2018 15:52

OP have you name changed? I recall a very similar post about this when the op was sick at work had asked her bf in the morning if he could pick her up but if not she would be happy to walk. Then op's parents were annoyed with him that he didn't collect her as his car was in the garage (home garage). Despite the OP (of that post) stating she would be happy to walk still! So op's (of that post) mum went to get her instead & was upset with bf.

If not then I apologise. However the ref to your mum working with you rings a bell as this was the same with that post I am positive.

If so however then this is clearly a reoccurring issue in your house that needs to be addressed. You have stated again that you are happy to walk therefore that should be the end of it. Why are you allowing your parents to have a say & ultimately cause issues in your relationship? I think you are more than capable to get yourself to work & back. You choose to work weekends & your bf doesn't so yes he should be entitled to a lie in or whatever he wants when he is off. If this is such an issue why not learn to drive yourself?

If I am honest this sounds more like you wanting him to take you but you know that is unreasonable so allow your parents to take up the matter on your behalf & you offer no fight as deep down that is what you think too. And hope they will

PinkCalluna · 21/04/2018 15:53

Tell you parents that this is not their business.

Living with them must be extraordinarily difficult for your boyfriend.

GorgonLondon · 21/04/2018 15:54

20 minutes is nothing. I've never learned to drive and happily walk 40 mins+ each way to go to places - so do my very young kids. The dependence on cars for even short distances isn't helping anyone!