Should my boyfriend pick me up and drive me on weekends from work

[Blackbinsack]

I work Saturday and Sunday live 5 mins from work but a good 20 mins walk. My partner and I live with my parents still. My step dad is very gentlemanly and would never dream of letting my mum walk. I don’t drive so see that me getting to work is upto me I normally cycle so takes me 10 mins max. Yes a lift is handy when it’s raining I’m ill or it’s dark and cold but i don’t really expect it. Pluss it’s his weekend so don’t want to ruin his lay in. When he dosnt take me my mum and dad always ask him why or question me on why he didn’t take me. Are my parents right that he should take me every weekend. If he dosnt take me my mum will Insist on it or give some reason why she has to come to work. She will also ask me what’s your boyfriend doing this morning. I always feels so awkward I’ve told my parents I don’t mind going myself but they keep mentioning that he should take me.

[MyFavouritePlace]

@Deathraystare, for me it's not about not travelling on my own but means I can leave the house that little bit later and get home sooner.

[idobelieveinfairies86]

Doesn't matter if it's their house, it's his home at the end of the day.
If ur mom is saving a deposit for a house for the 2 of you then I would suggest the she doesn't have wider issues on how he treats you.
Tbh, if your both working then I would put every spare penny into that deposit and get out asap and put your foot down in the meantime with your parents as comments could very well cause problem between u and ur dp
x

[Lweji]

If ur mom is saving a deposit for a house for the 2 of you then I would suggest the she doesn't have wider issues on how he treats you.

She's saving, but she hasn't given them the money yet. It could end up so that the OP can buy her own place, instead.
There's also the added bonus of getting them faster out of their home.

[HeebieJeebies456]

OP have you name changed? I recall a very similar post about this

I think it is the same person posting.....what a spoilt, entitled, passive aggressive mare she sounds in this post too.

[Dungeondragon15]

Although at ours he gets swimming pool hot tub garage for his car that’s just his to do all his car stuff and building.

I don't think that many people would want to live with interfering PIL just so they could put their car in a garage. They really need to butt out.

[Lweji]

You forget the swimming pool and hot tub.

[OakIsBetterTho]

Your parents sound ridiculous and actually so do you. You must know what they're suggesting is laughable (providing, of course, you have no physical impairments) and your boyfriend doesn't owe you lifts as and when.

[bluelampshades]

just say the exercise is good for you and you want to stay fit, how can anyone argue with that? Plus if it's that near not really good environmentally to drive , so say that too (unless it will lead to an argument) .

[seventh]

Tell your parents that how you get to work is down to you.

You're not a child to be ferried around by 'daddy'

[Emboo19]

I drive, but wouldn’t for a 20 min walk. Unless I’m getting a big shop or really rushing, anything that’s 30 mins or less to walk, I walk it.
I don’t think your boyfriend should ‘have’ to give you a lift and I personally wouldn’t expect even a partner to give me a lift every week.
Does he offer though? Say he’s up and awake, or you had a later night or the weathers bad? If you ask will he take you?Before I drove my ex would offer to give me a lift to work most weekends, it was a 30/40 mins bus ride though and with getting to the bus stop and bus times him dropping me off would give me a extra hour in bed. If he’d been out the night before or been really busy at work, I’d tend to just quitely get up and go while he still slept.
He very rarely collected me, unless we were going somewhere or he was meeting me after work to go shopping or for something to eat etc.

It wouldn’t be something that would bother me, if he was considerate in general and I was confident if I needed a lift he’d give me one.
But then my parents never really gave me lifts, so I’ve been traveling independently from quite young and I learnt to drive as soon as I turned 17. How old are you op?

[Dungeondragon15]

You forget the swimming pool and hot tub.

lol at the idea that a swimming pool (unless they live in Australia or similar) or hot tub would compensate for living with PIL.
OP just tell your parents that you need the exercise as this is probably true if no one even walks for 20 minutes in your family..

[WorraLiberty]

My step dad is very gentlemanly and would never dream of letting my mum walk.

Why though?

Surely if she had a problem with walking places, she'd learn to drive?

[Lemontart25]

I think it is the same person posting.....what a spoilt, entitled, passive aggressive mare she sounds in this post too.

Heebiejeebies456 I agree! And now stating all the 'perks' he should be grateful for whilst contributing to the household I mean he has a swimming pool now so he should be at her beck & call.... WTF!

Also having his share of the rent saved without his knowledge! OP- why is that? Your parents truly are controlling. What would happen should he decide to leave you, would be get his share back?! Poor sod hope he has a back up plan.

Also you say you can't drive, again why is that? Could you not learn? Cycling 4 times this week means nothing. Lots of people do the very same daily.

[BusterTheBulldog]

I don’t think he should. Just explain to your parents about enjoying the walk etc. Plus he does take you sometimes! Thats v nice of your mum to keep his money to give back to you though, so it can’t all be bad

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

I thought immediately of the similar, recent post. OP, are you going to cough to it? It just seems to be rehashing the same ishoo really...

[Emboo19]

My step dad is very gentlemanly and would never dream of letting my mum walk.

My dad once made me walk to school in torrential rain and I’d straightened my naturally curly hair .
To be fair he had just put some bacon in for his breakfast and he did pull up when I was 5 mins down the roads, has he felt too guilty. My hair was no longer straight by then though!

[hammeringinmyhead]

Ohhh, "gentlemanly". Aka sexist and patronising.

[Blackbinsack]

Today He text asking if I wanted to go out after work. I said yes he replied he would leave at 6ish I finish at 5.45 he then was surprised when my mum turned up home at 5.30 with out me as whe where both at work together. He thought we where leaving from home together. My mums now ringing me asking if she should come get me as he’s no where near ready. Understandable considering he thought I was coming home. She’s kept ringing me saying things like he’s only just put his clothes on my husband would never make me wait at work. She then rang again when he’s was in the car texting me saying he was leaving going he’s just sat in the car. She kept going on about how I need someone who treats me better. I said it was just miscommunication and not to worry. I’ve since got home and she’s told us to be nice to each other actually can’t wait to move out.

[AnneLovesGilbert]

Oh god. Please move out.

[AnyFucker]

Seriously ? This is how you live ?

[Furano]

20 mins really isn’t very much!

[SpongeBobJudgeyPants]

Nope. Still not answered

[idobelieveinfairies86]

@Lewji surely not if the mother is saving a deposit for them to get a house? I know I wouldn't be saving HIS rent if I thought he treated my daughter like shit, id be saving dds rent for HER to have a deposit so she was financially able to get rid once she realised.
Why would any1 but especially a mother do the shitty boyfriend a favor by helping him to save for a house he could then hang over the daughters head?
Sounds more likely (to me anyway) that mommy dearest doesn't want her baby leaving home AT ALL and thinks if she gets rid of the "bad man" whose luring op away, then Op will stay under their roof (where they can continue to control the situation). The saving of the deposit could be because so dm can say "look things aren't great and I think u need to move out, but here I didn't keep the rent money, I saved it for your deposit... aren't i wonderful"

After the update though @OP I think u need to sit ur parents down, when dp is not in and ask them just what exactly their fucking problem is. Your mother sounds VERY controlling. Spying on him and giving you updates (is she trying to teach u to control him too?) and honestly WTAF is she doing spying on him when he's getting ready to go out with you, which involves changing clothes???

Can I also ask, if your mother doesn't walk anywhere but works at the same place as you, does that mean that her husband pics her up? Why can't he pick you up as well if they don't want woman wondering the streets alone? Even, if ur mum finishes at a different time, he could come back and get you, as that's exactly what their asking ur dp to do??

[FASH84]

Is this more about them not being comfortable with him lying in bed with you out and them at home? Do they feel they have to restrict their noise and activities as not to disturb him, and thus if he took you to work, he'd be up and she and they would be more comfortable, hoovering, mowing for example?

[speakout]

Time to grow up.

Get your own place, learn to drive and get a car.