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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

Should my boyfriend pick me up and drive me on weekends from work

98 replies

Blackbinsack · 21/04/2018 15:07

I work Saturday and Sunday live 5 mins from work but a good 20 mins walk. My partner and I live with my parents still. My step dad is very gentlemanly and would never dream of letting my mum walk. I don’t drive so see that me getting to work is upto me I normally cycle so takes me 10 mins max. Yes a lift is handy when it’s raining I’m ill or it’s dark and cold but i don’t really expect it. Pluss it’s his weekend so don’t want to ruin his lay in. When he dosnt take me my mum and dad always ask him why or question me on why he didn’t take me. Are my parents right that he should take me every weekend. If he dosnt take me my mum will Insist on it or give some reason why she has to come to work. She will also ask me what’s your boyfriend doing this morning. I always feels so awkward I’ve told my parents I don’t mind going myself but they keep mentioning that he should take me.

OP posts:

Jessikita · 22/04/2018 07:08

YABU. Learn to drive.

Believeitornot · 22/04/2018 07:14

She doesn’t need to learn to drive. She has two functioning legs which enable her to walk or cycle.

The missing piece is her ability to stand up to her parents.

speakout · 22/04/2018 07:22

Stand up to her parents?

These are the people who are homing her.

The OP needs to stand up for herself and not be a child.

FluffyWhiteTowels · 22/04/2018 07:32

Sounds like your mum may think he doesn't respect you and cherish you enough and is fearful for you. Why not have a chat with your mum about it all.

How long have you been with your BF? And how long has he lived your parents' home? Was it agreed for an indefinite period of time?

Believeitornot · 22/04/2018 07:38

Standing up for herself is the same as standing up to her parents.
She doesn’t have to live with them.

speakout · 22/04/2018 07:39

Yes I know that. It was a play on words.

Lweji · 22/04/2018 07:43

He asked you if you wanted to go out after work and waited for you to walk all the way home? He never once asked you if you wanted him to pick you up, or if you wanted to take a shower first?

I'm more with your mother on this. He doesn't think about you.

Cornishclio · 22/04/2018 07:55

I think your mum and stepdad have some very old fashioned views. A 20 minute walk is nothing, is good exercise and better for the environment. Driving partners to and from everywhere is a bit controlling. I would prefer to be independent rather than have my husband drop me off and pick me up like a child.

I also think your parents should butt out and you should double your efforts to move out and get your own place. Your boyfriend must be really uncomfortable with all this criticism.

If you were to ask him to pick you up or drop you off on the odd occasion would he do it? Do you generally feel he treats you well or is he a bit selfish? If there are other issues then maybe your parents have a right to be concerned but not about this alone. If I were you though I would learn to drive as soon as you can afford to. It is a vital life skill.

Original poster

Blackbinsack · 22/04/2018 08:09

Few facts here my mum drives never walks dosnt need to she drives to work constantly
I can’t drive for various reasons
I didn’t need to shower after work as I was only going to the supermarket
He didn’t expect me to walk as my mum was at work with me and she always takes me home if we leave at the same time I told her to go home because I thought my partner was picking me up

OP posts:

Original poster

Blackbinsack · 22/04/2018 08:12

He picks me up and drops me off a lot to pretty much one day every weekend and the other day I try to cycle. If I go out he picks me up or if I get the bus home he walks to meet me as it’s only a five mins walk.

OP posts:

Original poster

Blackbinsack · 22/04/2018 08:15

We also have a house and have put an offer on

OP posts:

Creambun2 · 22/04/2018 08:16

you sound selfish and entitled op

NerrSnerr · 22/04/2018 08:17

Bloody hell. So much drama about walking to work. If you genuinely don't mind walking then just walk (or bus or cycle). It seems really needy that he even meets you off the bus when it's only 5 minutes away. I can't believe that you've started 2 threads about this. It's shocking that there's so much discussion about how you get to work when it's only a 20 minute walk away.

NoTNoShade · 22/04/2018 08:21

I don’t think living with your parents and working with your mother is helping you behave like a grown up.

Your mother is interfering with your relationship and as she is your mother, not your boyfriends, it’s going to have to be up to you to tell her to stop it. She needs to hear from you that you are an independent grown up woman who makes her own decisions and can look after herself.

hammeringinmyhead · 22/04/2018 08:44

Basically OP, they don't like him. For whatever reason. This is not about lifts.

GnotherGnu · 22/04/2018 09:17

Am I missing something here? How is OP selfish and entitled or a nightmare when all she's saying is essentially that she's perfectly happy to walk to work and doesn't agree with her parents' view that her boyfriend should take her?

trixiebelden77 · 22/04/2018 10:24

Time to move out.

I would assume if you wanted the convenience of driving you would learn to drive and pay to run a car. As you don’t, I’d assume you were happy walking.

snewname · 22/04/2018 10:35

Communication. You are not a child now. Talk to your parents properly. Acknowledge their concerns but explain how you feel in no uncertain terms.

Shouldileavethedogs · 22/04/2018 10:37

I call reverse.

RedSkyAtNight · 22/04/2018 12:32

This gets even more bizarre now OP has mentioned that she works with her mum. Surely if you actually work with someone who lives in the same house as you then (presuming you are leaving at roughly the same sort of time) then they give you a lift home (if you want one) automatically - no need for a third person in this equation at all!

frasier · 22/04/2018 12:52

They might not work at the same time. Or the mother might be the one wanting the lift really.

RedSkyAtNight · 22/04/2018 13:25

they might not work at the same time

Yes, agreed, that's why I said "presuming you are leaving at roughly the same sort of time" ...

OakIsBetterTho · 22/04/2018 16:47

Oh my goodness, grow up!!! If you reckon you're old enough to be buying a home with your partner you can bloody well stand up to your parents and tell them to butt out, and you absolutely can decide for yourself if you want a lift or not.
Your poor, poor DP. I do not envy him.

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