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Original poster

Childless women - who will look after you in old age?

357 replies

boatyface2 · 20/04/2018 16:06

If you are childless (by choice or not) or even if you have children, what's your view on this?

I've seen several threads from mums hating it and saying they wish they didn't have kids. Surely it's all good when you're young but who will look after you when you're old?

I wonder if that is why mums complain how much they hate it, yet go on to have a second and third child? And if old age wasn't a concern, why did you have children if you don't enjoy it?

OP posts:
SheldonCooper77 · 20/04/2018 16:07

Why would I expect my children to look after me when I'm old?
I didn't have them for that reason

Ohdearyme2018 · 20/04/2018 16:08

People have children because they are either careless with contraception or fuelled by hormones.

Aprilmightbemynewname · 20/04/2018 16:08

I have told my dc to stick me in a home. They have assured me they will visit on a rota!!
Fair deal I feel.

BewareOfDragons · 20/04/2018 16:09

Anyone who has children because they expect them to look after them in old age has no business having children.

That's what savings and insurance is for. Children have a right to grow up and have lives and families of their own. They may not even be able to live on the same continent as you when they grow up due to jobs and movement!

Ohdearyme2018 · 20/04/2018 16:09

I’ll be sending myself off to dignitas before I get to the stage we’re I need looking after

Trinity66 · 20/04/2018 16:09

Seriously? As if people have kids because they're thinking about being looked after in old age Confused I really hope I never have to be "looked after" by anyone

IAmALionTamer · 20/04/2018 16:09

I think most of the mothers that I know often vent about the difficulties of parenting but don’t necessarily mean they hate it....just some aspects of it.
I am a Mum, but old age care did not form any part of my decision to have children. It would be wonderful if my children wish to spend time with me when I’m old & take an interest in my life/care, but it is not an obligation! After all they didn’t ask to be born!

araiwa · 20/04/2018 16:10

Hey childless women

Youre gonna die alone, sad and lonely.

Cheers

OP

YoloSwaggins · 20/04/2018 16:10

Don't most people in the UK put their parents in a home anyway?

user1485342611 · 20/04/2018 16:10

My 86 year old aunt has no children. She gets a lot more family support/visitors/offers of help than many elderly people I know who do have children.

crunchymint · 20/04/2018 16:11

Women with children, who will look after you in old age?

Makes just as much sense to ask. Adult children move abroad, become disabled, have severely disabled kids to look after that take all their time, and many other reasons why adult children may see elderly parents only occasionally.

StealthPolarBear · 20/04/2018 16:11

What about childless men?

Ohdearyme2018 · 20/04/2018 16:11

Hey childless women

You're gonna die alone, sad and lonely.

Cheers

OP

Haha exactly! Not only did I loose a baby and am most likely infertile I’m also going to die alone! Cheers OP

Trinity66 · 20/04/2018 16:12

Hey childless women

Youre gonna die alone, sad and lonely.

Cheers

OP

Grin
UpstartCrow · 20/04/2018 16:12

I plan to be licked to death by puppies. I'm not sure how realistic this is, but I have made a living will and expect it to be honoured.

tenbob · 20/04/2018 16:12

Do you really know anyone who actually had children so they would be looked after? I don't know anyone who included it in the decision making process to start a family

If my kids are looking after me when I'm old, I will see it as a failure on my part
A failure to make adequate provision for my own care, and a failure as a parent that they aren't busy with great jobs and fun lives

TrudeauGirl · 20/04/2018 16:12

I don't wish to have children, and I will look after myself in my old age or go to elderly housing or a retirement village. I wouldn't have children just to ensure I'd have the security of being looked after, it wouldn't be fair.

crunchymint · 20/04/2018 16:12

I cared for a woman in her 40s who was dying. She had 5 kids. Not one of them visited her in the 6 months I knew her. I had no idea why. Old peoples homes are full of women and men who have children they never or rarely see.

elQuintoConyo · 20/04/2018 16:13

We have one child. Only wanted one child. If he visits my care home once a week i'll be happy.

We didn't have a child just so he can look after us when we're 90. Hideous reason imho.

I live in country A, sibling lives in country B, parents live in country C. Parents are divorced and live opposite ends of the country to each other. DM and i don't have much of a relationship, DM and sibling are very close. DF and i are very close, sibling has gone NC with DF. Sibling and i have a strained relationship.

So in that scenario, which child looks after which parent in their final years, and how the fuck do we afford to visit once a week - even once a month is impossible.

Open your eyes OP.

Helpmeplan · 20/04/2018 16:13

Have kids. I hope they slip me a load of pills and send me on my merry way. I'd rather die than let them wipe my arse

DownAtFraggleRock · 20/04/2018 16:14

If you expect your kids to look after you when you're old you could be in for a shock. What if they fuck off to the other side of the world, like I did lots do?

DH and I have a suicide pact if it all turns to shit.

NoFuckingRoomOnMyBroom · 20/04/2018 16:14

What a ridiculous notion Hmm
Is that why you had children OP? It certainly isn't why I did.

JemAppelleLafayette · 20/04/2018 16:15

I work in medicine of the elderly, and am actually experiencing this in my own family right now.

Believe me, OP, even if you have children there’s no guarantee they’ll give two hoots.

Clarich007 · 20/04/2018 16:15

We couldn't have children, but never in my wildest dreams did i think we would have kids to look after us in old age.
You just can't assume they will either be able to, or even want to !!

NameChangeBiatch · 20/04/2018 16:16

Lots of people in poverty-stricken third world countries do keep having children for that very reason. I'm not sure it's so applicable in the U.K. though.