Childless women - who will look after you in old age?

[boatyface2]

If you are childless (by choice or not) or even if you have children, what's your view on this?

I've seen several threads from mums hating it and saying they wish they didn't have kids. Surely it's all good when you're young but who will look after you when you're old?

I wonder if that is why mums complain how much they hate it, yet go on to have a second and third child? And if old age wasn't a concern, why did you have children if you don't enjoy it?

You are naive if you think your children will care for you when you’re elderly. They weren’t created to offer you failsafe care in your final years. They are individuals and will lead their own lives. I’d argue the majority of western children put their parents in care homes before taking on the burden themselves and who can blame them.

Been out in the sun too long, op? Seems to have melted your brain and now you’re chatting bollocks on the internet.

You can't plan your life around expecting children to look after you when you are old. They may end up living on the other side of the world from you.

My DC's are disabled, so can't look after me. I think the days of having kids to look after you in old age are long gone op.

I have three kids and I will not be letting mine care for me when I'm old!

Nice retirement or care home be better tbh

Yes there's Dignitas but resorting to that is somewhat.. sad?

I have one child and I'm expecting our second. This did not come up once in our discussions of whether to have a child/a second child. I don't think my parents expect me to look after them either though I'm not saying I wouldn't.

@ohdeary. Or possibly they actually wanted children. .

I would never want to be looked after by my children, I have not brought them into the world to become carers for me.

I have a daughter and would hate for her to feel it was her duty to nurse me in old age. I want her to live her own life, unburdened as possible.

@lou1221 yes people ‘want’ children because of hormones! We’re just animals ya know 😂

Does anyone think that maybe the OP is childless herself and pondering her future? A little bit of sympathy might not go a miss, she’s possibly looking for answers.
Hope you come back OP.

I don’t expect my children to look after me in old age. I brought them up to be secure enough to flee the nest, travel wide and make their way in life.
I’ve no intention to drag them back when my going gets tough.

Having kids is no guarantee they'll look after you in old age!!

I love my parents but due to work and living somewhere we can afford we won't be around to "look after them".

Having children is no guarantee to being well looked after in old age. I don't consider myself to be old yet but have already been let down by a DC. It was not even that the DC would have had to ask for time off work or arrange child minding. And this is not the worst of it

I think if your plans for being old is that your children are going to look after you, then you are setting yourself up for disappointment. Yes they might, but equally they might be living on the other side of the world, or they might have their own families and lives that mean that they cannot be at your beck and call.

I will be on my own when I am old. If I am capable of making the decision, I will take the Dignitas route or will take my own life at a suitable point in a way that works at that time. I worst for me will be if I get past the point of making a decision on that and want to go but can't.

Of course Dignitas is sad. Death is sad.

Same as who'll be looking after people with children - nurses and caring home staff! Unless you're living like the Walton's with all generations in one house you reach a point where family support doesn't cut it.

Do your children know you had them to provide care in your latter years?

Its a bit sad to have children and burden them with looking after their parents in old age. What if they dont want to? Cant think of anything more miserable.

Personally I plan to look after myself and when I reach the point where I cant I will reach for the bottle of sleeping pills.

I dont get why so many people want to hang on for so long when they cant look after themselves. Why?

I had three specifically so I had options about who's life to gate crash in old age.

Is that the quote you're looking for, pet? Will they let you go home and enjoy the sun now?

Goady fuckery at its finest.

My DH and I don’t currently live in the same country (or even continent) as our elderly parents. The closest of our siblings lives hundreds of miles away.

Our family had several unmarried women in it as I was growing up (the war generation whose boyfriends never came back). The entire family looked after them and they had a constant stream of friends and neighbours visiting.

Not having children doesn’t mean you will die alone or have a lonely old age.

Having children doesn’t guarantee that they will end up living nearby and dropping in every day.

Yes there's Dignitas but resorting to that is somewhat.. sad? Definitely less sad than having children in the belief that you'll be cared for when you're old.

I don't have children through choice. If I'd ever considered having them, old age care provision would not have been one of the reasons for doing so. I think that the children of anyone who had children for this reason are not in for an easy ride.

I'll add this to my list of things to look forward to if IVF doesn't work...lots of foreign holidays, lie-ins and dying alone.

WTF? Why would anyone start a thread like this?!

Did you join MN just to post this OP? Only you appear to have no posting history and have leapt in with a delightful thread like this. A more suspicious person would be suspicious. Not me though, i'm not remotely suspicious.

I’ll use the money I saved on not having children to hire a fit young male nurse for me and a fit female young female nurse for DH