AIBU to think mother of son’s classmate shouldn’t have grabbed him?

[MissOlivier]

My son has shown some spiteful behaviour towards his class. He has ADHD and ASD. His behaviour is definitely getting harder to manage in a mainstream setting.

At what age does the 'he has autism and can't help it' stops?

I guess when they grow out the autism, right? What age does that happen? 15/16?

Busybeez99 I think you’re being deliberately inflammatory but to give you the benefit of the doubt, as soon as people with additional needs are able to have their needs met, their behaviour is far more likely to be calmer. At any age.

You think the parents of children with autism don't know what it's like to have a child who is bullied and victimised in school?

That's what I'm saying. They never grow out of it obviously so what if they committed an assault when they were over 18. Would autism be a mitigating circumstance?

Fluffypineapple has gone all NT vs ND. Us and Them. Horribly ignorant.

other parents will not tolerate their children being victimized and bullied in school

Do you think that parents who don’t grab children by their collar in the street are tolerating their child being bullied?

Busybeez99 yes it would, and yes it is, because it is a disability.

Gosh that's scary then.

Would autism be a mitigating circumstance?

Of course it is. Why wouldn’t it be?

What an insightful post, Busybeez99. Which school should he go to?

And if the NT children and their parents do not have a clear idea of what condition the OP’s son has or what needs to be done to mitigate the impact of it - isn’t this quite likely because nobody is ever told what the truth is? It’s all very well asking for understanding for SEN children and their issues but it's difficult and frustrating trying to understand and make allowances for something which is so shrouded in secrecy. I’ve said this before and was lambasted for being nosey and seeking to breach confidentiality- but I stand by it because I really don’t see how it’s fair.

Why is that scary?

Busybeez99 why is that scary??? FFS!

What would be fair, Fascinated?

Adults with autism are generally better able to control their environments, as are adults in general. They can choose, to a greater extent, who they live with, who they socialise with, the environment they work in etc in a way that school-age children can't. So are better able to avoid triggers. Also people with autism learn coping mechanisms as they grow and mature, just like NT people.

I don't know why the fuck I'm bothering explaining though.

I don't send my child to school to be attacked by a fellow pupil no matter what disability they may or may not have.

OP do you know the girl?

Busybeez99 I don’t know anyone that does, do you?

Fucking hell.

No thankfully I don't.

Exactly.

If a child hit my child whether they had special needs or not I would be furious.

Wouldn’t we all? I’m missing the point of your posts.

Children who attack others should be removed from the school. End of

I don't send my child to school to be attacked by a fellow pupil no matter what disability they may or may not have.

You don’t? Why not? It’s great craic.