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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose not go for smear test.

177 replies

TrudeauGirl · 17/04/2018 22:36

I feel bad posting on this site as I'm not a mother but I have been a long time reader of this website and you all seem like really kind people and I would value your kind advice on this subject.

I am in my 20's and have never had sex through personal choice. I consider myself gay but have always been nervous about the thought of doing anything with anyone.

Which brings us to the smear test, I have been for an appointment and did not manage to get through it. I ended up in tears and the nurse was so lovely to me about it, but I felt so embarrassed as I found it too scary and painful.

I know as a virgin my risk is lower but would it be unreasonable of me to not go again, it would it be better for me to talk to a doctor about my fears?

Sorry for long post and thankyou in advance for any advice

OP posts:
Sprinklesinmyelbow · 18/04/2018 09:27

Actually to return to this I find your post quite irritating. I said the medical staff couldn’t get my cervix open and you’ve tried to insinuate that’s somehow incorrect, or we’re too thick to know how a cervix works. Re reading I think it’s clear my post meant they couldn’t get it open enough to fit a spectrum inside

EC22 · 18/04/2018 09:31

Of course it’s not unreasonable, it’s not unreasonabl for anyone to decline screening.

LiteraryDevil · 18/04/2018 09:39

Sprinkles the speculum goes in your VAGINA not your cervix.

KT63 · 18/04/2018 09:43

@nursy1 thanks for explaining. That makes more sense!

nursy1 · 18/04/2018 09:48

I wouldn’t have a smear if I was the op. As you say. At very very low risk. Worth filling in the decline form at your GP though. Otherwise the screening service get a bit desperate and bombard you with letters.
Don’t know why we don’t send reminders by SMS nowadays. Be much cheaper!

Sprinklesinmyelbow · 18/04/2018 10:15

But something presumably needs to go into your cervix to collect cells, which is the point about needing cervix access.

RachelTeeth · 18/04/2018 10:22

Lazypuppy did you google how many women have been sexually attacked or harassed? It’s not a small minority. Consider how women are raised to hide their bodies, be ashamed of their bodies, adverts and ‘jokes’ making us believe our genitals are smelly or dirty or ugly. Can you not have thought of any of this yourself? No one is interested in your vagina stories but cheers for sharing. Hmm

RachelTeeth · 18/04/2018 10:24

sprinkles no, nothing goes into your cervix.

stitchglitched · 18/04/2018 10:28

I had a smear last year and they only screened my sample for HPV. It was negative so no further investigation required. In your position I wouldn't have one and I'm surprised any HCP would advocate it for someone who is a virgin.

Thursdaydreaming · 18/04/2018 12:24

OP should get a pap test even though she has never been sexually active as according to pp, you can get HPV from a towel.

And the risk of this, and this HPV causing cervical cancer at her young age, is so high that OP should worry and get a painful invasive test.

Now I've heard it heard it all. GrinConfusedConfused

LemonScentedStickyBat · 18/04/2018 12:38

thursday AND she’s vaccinated against HPV...

Lazypuppy · 18/04/2018 12:38

@RachelTeeth

Lazypuppy did you google how many women have been sexually attacked or harassed? It’s not a small minority. Consider how women are raised to hide their bodies, be ashamed of their bodies, adverts and ‘jokes’ making us believe our genitals are smelly or dirty or ugly. Can you not have thought of any of this yourself? No one is interested in your vagina stories but cheers for sharing. hmm

I wasn't raised to hide or be ashamed of my body, or that my genitals are dirty/ugly/smelly and nor has anyone i know! That is the oddest statement i've ever read.

ThymeLord · 18/04/2018 12:50

Can you possibly see beyond your own experiences Lazy, or are you just too selfish?

JamieVardysHavingAParty · 18/04/2018 12:52

Lemon and Thursday Didn't an actual HCP come on to say she wouldn't perform a smear test in this situation, too?

But nah. OP is obviously at imminent risk. Hmm

RachelTeeth · 18/04/2018 13:45

Lazypuppy, I’m obviously talking about women in society in general, jfc.

LiteraryDevil · 18/04/2018 14:22

Well, if one thing, this thread has highlighted that the NHS needs to up its game in terms of information about cervical screening, and there needs to be better anatomy taught in schools. A leaflet is sent out along with the invitation and I'm pretty sure there's a diagram on there but it's evident people aren't being reached if women think their cervix is opened with a speculum(!) or that it screens for ovarian cancer.

I once had a patient who was terrified due to being abused by her ex and she was ridiculed in her home country for contracting an STI from him. I referred her to the GP for some Valium to take before the test. She was very anxious when she came into my consulting room but had taken the drug and had her iPod with her to play some of her favourite music to help distract her. In the previous consultation I'd gone through everything with her so after a quick recap and obtaining consent she allowed a smear to be taken. She was tearful but so grateful that the team had helped her cope with this. A week later she brought me a beautiful card and a traditional gift from her country. This was about 7 years ago and I still have it. For me it was one of the highlights of my career to enable this traumatised lady to be screened.

I hope you are oK OP and can resolve your anxiety around this.

KT63 · 18/04/2018 14:36

LiteraryDevil I’ve learned something! My MW always referred to cervix being open or closed, I didn’t realise it wasn’t always “open” when not pregnant.
The most important thing is that we, as women, talk about this stuff. Openly, honestly and without judgement or disdain for someone else. It is crucially important.

flowerslemonade · 18/04/2018 14:49

Not read the entire thread but it always boggles my mind when I read comments like people saying they "can't understand" why anyone would find it difficult or that it's painless. Not for everyone. I've had examinations where it felt like I was being torn open. No idea what the hell went wrong because I've also had painless ones, for an identical procedure, the only thing I can think of is that a metal speculum was used not a plastic one and I seemed to like spasm or something, it felt like a cramp (like the kind you get in your calf) but in that area.

Of course it's going to be frightening for someone who's never had anything inside them, it doesn't mean it's not worth doing, but it DOES mean they shouldn't be belittled or put down because of it.

You can get HPV tests for £48 from Superdrug, not sure if that's worth doing. If you were HPV negative for all of the strains associated with cervical cancer, I don't know. I still would have the smear tbh.

flowerslemonade · 18/04/2018 14:50

Good luck if you go for it xx

Original poster
TrudeauGirl · 18/04/2018 15:05

Thanks everyone Flowers

OP posts:
Bringmejavabringmejoy · 18/04/2018 15:36

so where do they take the cells from?

TSSDNCOP · 18/04/2018 15:36

OP i truly hope posters here can convince you to get your routine smears even at your young age.

Your first post and your age struck a chord.

I’m a florist, the first job I had was to prepare the funeral of a girl of 28 who had died of cervical cancer.

I can still see her dad in my mind. He was a big fella. But he sat in my office and cried and cried as we picked flowers for her coffin.

TSSDNCOP · 18/04/2018 15:38

Sorry, I know I’ll get MN caned for calling her a girl - to her dad she was though.

Original poster
TrudeauGirl · 18/04/2018 18:06

i’m a florist, the first job I had was to prepare the funeral of a girl of 28 who had died of cervical cancer.

Oh no that's awful :-(

OP posts:
Dungeondragon15 · 18/04/2018 18:18

If you are a virgin and have never had any sexual contact then the risk of cervical cancer is very low. I don't think it would be at all unreasonable for you to not have a smear. I suspect that if everyone was at similar low risk the NHS would stop offering them.