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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To choose not go for smear test.

177 replies

TrudeauGirl · 17/04/2018 22:36

I feel bad posting on this site as I'm not a mother but I have been a long time reader of this website and you all seem like really kind people and I would value your kind advice on this subject.

I am in my 20's and have never had sex through personal choice. I consider myself gay but have always been nervous about the thought of doing anything with anyone.

Which brings us to the smear test, I have been for an appointment and did not manage to get through it. I ended up in tears and the nurse was so lovely to me about it, but I felt so embarrassed as I found it too scary and painful.

I know as a virgin my risk is lower but would it be unreasonable of me to not go again, it would it be better for me to talk to a doctor about my fears?

Sorry for long post and thankyou in advance for any advice

OP posts:
Original poster
TrudeauGirl · 17/04/2018 23:31

I use cloth pads and tampons are a bit too scary for me..though I have tried on many occasions.

I think a counsellor may be a good route because I have suffered anxiety in the past so it would probably do me the world of good to open up.

Thanks so much for everyone's replies, still not letting me reply to individual posts I'm sorry.

OP posts:
Melamin · 17/04/2018 23:31

In my extensive experience (am over 60) smear tests are awkward, somewhat embarrassing and occasionally painful - but worth not dying of ovarian cancer

Another strange cervical smear Hmm

AnnieAnoniMouser · 17/04/2018 23:32

uppy Tue 17-Apr-18 22:56:26
My smear tests have all been fine, i barely felt anything...i don't see why so many women are scared. Where does the fear come from (genuine question)?

Well, imagine instead of it being fine and you barely feeling anything, it hurts, quite a lot...then it’s not too difficult to see why lots of women hate it really is it?!

I go these days because I promised MrsDeVere (a lovely poster x) I would. She won’t even remember, but when I get called for one, I think of all her DD (& she) went through (not cervical cancer) and I think if that beautiful girl coped with all of that I can go for a sodding smear test.

However, if I was you OP I’d read up on the latest info about whether testing is necessary pre being sexually actively, or not. I think probably not.

Then, I’d find some counselling because something is stopping you having a fulfilling sex life and making you scared of having a smear test done. Something has happened to make you feel this way and you need to work out how to get past it. You don’t need to live the rest of your life feeling like this 💐

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 23:33

If you have never been sexually active then your risk is very very low.
I would not do a smear on somebody who is a virgin.
Op you can sign a disclaimer to stop the reminder letters coming through the door.

Original poster
TrudeauGirl · 17/04/2018 23:35

Thankyou Annie, I think I also feel bad when I realise just how much other woman have been through regarding cervical issues. So I think I can find a way to brave my smear eventually. Xx

OP posts:
BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 17/04/2018 23:37

Im not in the UK so that may go someway to explaining the cotton bud aberration. Never had a spatula!

The giant cotton bud was just to swab, but only at my smear test. Didnt realise that there was any other way.

userxx · 17/04/2018 23:39

I got my smear results recently and it was tested for HPV, as I'm HPV negative no further checks were done on my cells as I'm low risk. Is this a new thing?

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 23:41

Also I've never understood with smears why women can't swab themselves like you can for chlamydia

Greymisty. A smear is not just a swab from the top of your vagina. It comes from the cervical os ( the hole through the neck if your womb. The skin there is a very specific zone where the cells change from outside skin to inside skin. ( like the internal age of your lip). These are the cells that show up the changes of cervical cancer.

vdbfamily · 17/04/2018 23:42

OP...until you are sexually active you will not benefit from a smear. The most common virus is sexually transmitted. If you read the BMJ article it says that one nurse will need to have worked in a GP practice for 38 years to prevent one death from cervical cancer. I was a virgin and married a virgin and I had one smear after my 3 kids and it was clear and my GP said I was extremely low risk and agreed with my decision not to have any more. It is an extremely invasive procedure and personally, if you are not at risk I wold not put myself through the trauma!

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 23:43

I got my smear results recently and it was tested for HPV, as I'm HPV negative no further checks were done on my cells as I'm low risk. Is this a new thing
Fairly new yes. HPV. very strongly associated with the specific changes of cervical cancer.

Melamin · 17/04/2018 23:44

Very strange Confused The pap test was always a wooden spatula. You had to scrape the cells off, like if you run your finger nail over the inside of your cheek, and smear them onto a slide to be looked at under a microscope. Now they use a brush and the brush end goes into a pot of liquid to the lab. Maybe the brush looks like a cotton bud from a distance? I can't see them getting enough off with that unless the rub very hard. The brush goes into the cervical canal to get the zone where the cell types change.

Some countries have moved to primary HPV testing so maybe it is that?

userxx · 17/04/2018 23:48

Yeah I know it's strain 16 and 18 (I think), just didn't realise they were testing for hpv, I'm sure years ago you had to go private if you wanted the test. What happens though it you had undetected bowel cancer that spread to the cervix, if you were hpv negative it wouldn't be detected would it. Am overthinking here!

IVflytrap · 17/04/2018 23:48

I'm early 30s, but otherwise extremely similar situation to you, weirdly. I kind of blurted everything out to my doctor when he reminded me at the end of an appointment that my smear test was due. He was nice about it - he said that while the odds of developing cervical cancer are very low if you've never had any kind of sexual or intimate contact, they recommend all women go for screening, but that obviously they can't tell me what to do one way or the other. He gave me a leaflet to read that pretty much said the same thing.

As I have none of the risk factors (not possible to have HPV, never been on the pill, never smoked, no family history of cervical cancer, or any other women's cancers), I've decided for now not to force myself to go just yet as I find it so distressing. In the mean time I've been trying to work on my anxiety and hopefully I'll be able to book one at some point sooner rather than later without freaking out. (I probably should have some form of therapy to get my anxiety under control, but NHS waiting lists are unforgiving and I can't afford to go private for therapy, so self-help books it is, yay).

I don't know if this helps at all. I don't usually comment here but as there aren't going to be many other posters here who've been in your shoes, I thought I probably should. Basically, your risk is very low, but that doesn't mean it's non-existent.

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 23:50

Maybe the brush looks like a cotton bud from a distance? I can't see them getting enough off with that unless the rub very hard
Melamin. The brush is twirled round about five times clockwise in close contact with the cervical is. It’s a very particular shape/ angle in order to be able to do this, ask to have a look at it next time. It does rub quite hard which is why you can get a few blood spots after.

Original poster
TrudeauGirl · 17/04/2018 23:52

As I have none of the risk factors (not possible to have HPV, never been on the pill, never smoked, no family history of cervical cancer, or any other women's cancers), I've decided for now not to force myself

Very similar to myself, thanks for sharing your experiences, it really does help me xx

OP posts:
nursy1 · 17/04/2018 23:53

What happens though it you had undetected bowel cancer that spread to the cervix, if you were hpv negative it wouldn't be detected would it. Am overthinking here!

A bit. :) think you would be aware of a bowel cancer that had spread that much.
A smear isn’t a test that’s looking for cancer as such. That would be far too late and not worth doing. It’s looking for changes in cells that can pre date cancer by up to 10 years.

Melamin · 17/04/2018 23:53

I meant I could not see them getting enough cells off with the cotton bud if they did not rub very hard!

I know what the brushes look like and feel like (and what the bleed is like)

BananasAreTheSourceOfEvil · 17/04/2018 23:54

@Melamin I never had a spatula (If I had all I would have been able to think of was Mary Berry or Nigella). I remember it being a big cotton bud thingy because it reminded me of the TV series 'Scrubs' and their giant doctor sketches with oversized props.

Could have well have been a brush- lets face it my eyeline probably dint give the best range of sight hehe- it was sealed into a tub that was like a test tube to be sent to the lab.

Melamin · 17/04/2018 23:56

That will be it then Smile - it is hard to see at that angle.

userxx · 17/04/2018 23:57

Thanks nursey, I'm going to think nice happy thoughts now before I hopefully nod off! Banish the bowel thoughts.

ShadyLady53 · 17/04/2018 23:57

Due to religious/cultural reasons, I was not sexually active in any way when I was first invited for a smear and after getting a lot of reminders, I eventually spoke to the Nurse and explained that I was a virgin. She was lovely and said she’d have to double check but she thought it wasn’t necessary or advisable for someone who isn’t sexually active to have a smear. After seeking advice she discovered this was indeed our NHS Trust’s protocol and just said to ignore any reminders and come back when I was sexually active.

Round about the same time, I had to have an ultrasound and when the images weren’t coming up clearly, the member of staff said that she would have to do a transvaginal ultrasound instead. I initially just said I would prefer not to have one but she became quite irritated and pushy and insisted that I’d have to have it done internally. Eventually, I explained that I was a virgin and she rolled her eyes, sighed and put the probe away saying, “well in that case, a transvaginal ultrasound isn’t appropriate and I wouldn’t be allowed to.” and told me to drink another litre of water and come back in 20 mins for another abdominal scan.

Remembering how frightened I was having that scan, I can absolutely identify with your fears and wholeheartedly recommend seeing a psychosexual counsellor if you can. In the meantime, seek advice from your GP or practice nurse but the chances are that you don’t need a smear test anyway. I also decided to pay privately for the HPV vaccine before I started having sex...maybe that’s something you’d be interested in looking into?

BMW6 · 17/04/2018 23:58

In my extensive experience (am over 60) smear tests are awkward, somewhat embarrassing and occasionally painful - but worth not dying of ovarian cancer

Another strange cervical smear hmm

Am not at all aware of what, in my post, warranted this Hmm reaction
Please explain exactly what is "strange" about my experience of cervical smears?

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 23:58

Ive decided for now not to force myself to go just yet as I find it so distressing. In the mean time I've been trying to work on my anxiety and hopefully I'll be able to book one at some point sooner

Every practice Nurse I know flytrap has known multiple patients with your sort of anxieties. I’ve helped a couple by giving them speculum to practise with at home so it gets a bit more familiar.
You are right though. No need for you, in your circumstances to rush for a smear. Just when you are ready go see your Prsctice Nurse for that conversation first. Then you can be allocated a bit more time.

Melamin · 17/04/2018 23:59

You're having them to prevent ovarian cancer.

nursy1 · 17/04/2018 23:59

BMW6
A cervical smear will not detect ovarian cancer. That’s diagnosed differently.

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