To find random men “helping” me to park, incredibly annoying?

[littlecabbage]

Why do some men do this? Occasionally, when I am parking my car, particularly if it involves any kind of reversing, a random nearby man will start beckoning and gesticulating (totally uninvited by me) in the mistaken belief that I am unable to park my car without his “help”.

Yes, yes, I know that he thinks he is being helpful, but I suspect that this happens to women a lot more than it does to men. Does it even happen to men? I find it insulting and patronising. How do they think I manage to park my car on the 98% of occasions where there is no gesticulating (interfering) man in position? Grrrrrr!

(This even happens sometimes when I reverse out of my own drive, something I generally manage to achieve on a daily basis all by myself - what a clever little woman I am )

My dad is the kind of man to do this, and often does!
He doesn’t single out women though, I’ve seen him try to help a huge butch man in a mini park...... he thinks he is being helpful

I am the opposite! I'm a feminist in the very traditional sense of the word However, I cannot park to save my life. I am a great driver and can drive in any country, but I just can't park.

I have been known to call over a passing male to park my car for me. Sorry.

I have never seen this happen. I would suggest what others have insinuated: perhaps you're just a terrible parker

Agree 100% OP. It's only happened to me 2 or 3 times in 15 years of driving, but yes it's annoying. It was an older man every time, and like pp, I hadn't even started parking yet so it's not like he saw I was having trouble and came to help as a result.

As well as being patronising, I start stressing that I won't get it in first time (because of the stress!) and will look stupid and the man will think he's justified. So I just drive off and find somewhere else to park!

In a related note, at home my car spot is quite difficult to get in to, and DH finds it too hard so I always do the park (swapping in to drivers seat if he was driving). Yet as I'm doing it he often gives me tips or directs me. Hello! I'm the one that can get in - why would I accept advice from someone who can't?

I've seen both sides. I'm a woman and I've been patronisingly beckoned into spaces 20 miles wide by men. but I have also had helpful beckonings in a tight spot which i really appreciated. and i have seen men becocked patronisingly if they are old or a man has got caught up in some sort of unofficial and unneeded traffic direction.

I happens to me occassionally. It happens to DH too.

We have a big vehicle with lots of blind spots (big pick up).

It doesn't bother either of us. I find it's usually people with their own insecurities who find help to be patronising.

This happens to me too and although I know they’re trying to be helpful, it annoys the hell out of me. I very much doubt that men experience this to the same degree. And, no I’m not rubbish at parking. I am actually very good at getting into tight spaces if I need to. I just ignore their directions but politely thank them anyway.

This happens to me sometimes, usually when I'm clearly struggling to get out of a space. A man will turn up and shout YOUVE GOT LOADS OF ROOM and tell me when I'm too close to the car behind. I quite appreciate it, I wish people would do it more (I am not very good at backing out of spaces )

why are you reversing out of your drive
rather than into it?

If I have arrived home at a busier time of day, it is easier to drive in first, as the time I leave is incredibly quiet traffic-wise, and visibility is great..... when there isn't an arm-waving idiot blocking it

I have been known to call over a passing male to park my car for me. Sorry. Me too. In fact I actively encourage these people. I'd rather look silly than have to deal with a scrape or bump. It's expensive.

Yes further evidence of the MN-only experiences - a sort of virtual reality twilight zone.

Yy. Nbu.

Saving to rrad later

I wonder how it would affect blame/insurance if you crunched a car whilst trying to get into a spot. Would both of you be at fault or the self appointed banksman?

@MrPerfect another example of the “i hasn’t happened to e therefore it hasn’t ever happened to anyone ever” phenomenon.

There’s quite an insidious case in the press in Australia at present. Perhaps you could help me understand it?

junkee.com/public-transport-sexual-harassment/155042

Just asked DH if it ever happened to him and he said once or twice since his hair turned white, he finds it more annoying when salesmen in computer shops treat him like an idiot (he knows alot about computers and sells his programs.)

I just get ignored in both situations. I think I am invisible.

I've had this whilst reversing out my drive. It is a busy road but I have been reversing onto it for over ten years so I know what I'm doing. This t**t suddenly appeared in the middle of the road to stop the traffic for me. I was more concerned I could have run him over as I hadn't seen him step out as I was looking the other way, being good observing pavements and oncoming traffic etc. For the record driving out forwards can be equally challenging as cars park on my side of the road so visibility is poor and no bugger ever let's you out! If I reverse I am with the flow of traffic/parked cars so can then pull out easily.

Oh I just remember being harrassed by a rude man when I was parking with a 3 year old screaming in the back of the car. He had a broken leg and I was trying to get to A & E and probably wasn't at peak performance.

An actor I had seen on TV many times opened his window and shouted at me to get out of his way. I got out of the car and tried to give him the keys and told him to do it himself. I was tearful, you could hear little one screaming and the miserable actor looked terrified and closed his window.

my neighbour does this - he is an ex police officer, he watches out of his window when I park (in the space outside my house) and when I have finished he comes out and says 'can I just give you a few tips'. no,fuck off.

Once he stood on the pavement as I was parking and made steering wheel motions and shouted stuff like 'hard right hard right, mirrors, don't worry if you mount the pavement get her tucked in' and similar utter bollocks. He even once suggested I 'try it again' after I'd parked. I declined.

Now if I see him revving himself into 'parking expert' mode, I shout 'don't watch me it puts me off'. He drives me round the bend.

Luckily for me he is an expert on everything not just parking (dog training, gardening, putting in a screw 'you'll need a screw driver for that', or a nail 'what you want is a hammer' and all aspects of 'crime prevention' - if I don't immediately pick up my free paper after the delivery boy flings it onto the path, neighbour is round knocking on the door saying it is a sign to burglars I am not in (I am in).

Phew. Rant over.

Loved that you tube clip.

It has happened to me.
I also have had on two occasions a man come up to and praise my reverse parallel parking aptitude. The second occasion I was 37 weeks pregnant with my third child. When i got out of the car and said “thanks, it’s not as good as normal” whilst patting my bump I couldn’t decide whether he hated me then

I wonder why it happens to some people and not others, is it all glamorous young women being offered help, or people with big cars, or does it happen more in some parts of the country. I've never even been offered help by DH let alone a stranger or neighbour.

I was ordering food in a pub a while ago, I waited absolutely ages as the young man was all over the young woman in front of me. He explained how everything worked, where to get the salad, she didn't want any, where to get cutlery, how the little alarm thing worked that let you know your food was ready. Honestly I was expecting him to give her a lesson in how to cut your food up. When it was my turn I barely got a word out of him. The joy of being old and invisible.

This happens to me, but I am terrible at parking. I’ve had to get out and have them hop in and park it for me, although that was a few years ago.......
I’d rather have the help than the men that stand and laugh as I struggle back and forth.
I don’t feel it’s because I’m female, it’s just because I am terrible at parking.

It's never happened to me. I'm more irritated by men at the driving range telling me what to do.

This must be regional as not only as it never happened to me, I have never seen it happen. As a runner I do spend some time letting cars who are reversing out doing a sort of hokey kokey dance that it’s clear.

This happened to me this morning.

There was a women in my way so I slowly edge forward to get the angle to reverse.

Next thing I know there is a guy in the space I'm a bout to reverse into beckoning me in.

So I stuck my head out of the window and asked if everything was okay and did he need medical attention as he was waving his arms about so much.

He said it was a tight space so thought I would need help. He sculked off when I pointed out the space was even tighter with him standing in the middle.