To find random men “helping” me to park, incredibly annoying?

[littlecabbage]

Why do some men do this? Occasionally, when I am parking my car, particularly if it involves any kind of reversing, a random nearby man will start beckoning and gesticulating (totally uninvited by me) in the mistaken belief that I am unable to park my car without his “help”.

Yes, yes, I know that he thinks he is being helpful, but I suspect that this happens to women a lot more than it does to men. Does it even happen to men? I find it insulting and patronising. How do they think I manage to park my car on the 98% of occasions where there is no gesticulating (interfering) man in position? Grrrrrr!

(This even happens sometimes when I reverse out of my own drive, something I generally manage to achieve on a daily basis all by myself - what a clever little woman I am )

mydog you've not met the patronising man type in your town then? I don't need a grip thanks, I'm fine.

I did. A friends son works in another branch so he gave some ‘feedback’ too.
It might have had something to do with me having the temerity to be both female and the wrong side of 50 which of course means that I am incapable of driving anything bigger than a fiat 500 to a youngster.
I got a profuse apology. 😂

It hasn’t happened to me before, although once I was parallel parked on the street and when I came back a car had parked RIDICULOUSLY close to mine, like almost bumper to bumper, I still had the decent bit of room that I had allowed between me and the other car I had parked next to, but it was obscenely tight because I had no give the other way.

Ended up sitting there doing little steering motions trying to get out until a man walking his dog asked if i needed help..and he ended up getting in my car and driving me out bless him!! Was massively grateful. We both agreed the other car was insane..

DH is a cop and can't help but comment when he's a passenger. He does it to everybody because he was trained to do it. "Clear left" is his favourite. I've just about got him to stfu when I'm driving but he still cranes his neck. I've taken to shrieking "IC 2 males at 12 o'clock, one with quavers and a bad haircut" every time he looks like slipping into cop mode.

I've seen the whole waving into a space shtick. My Grandad did it to all women, as does a friend's DH. Nowt to do with ability, everything to do with it being a man thing. My FIL still offers to "see me off the drive" despite me declining every single time.

Do you drive a Micra?

My Dad used to do this. Drove me mad.
I had an upset woman ask me for help once as she couldn't get her car out of an awkward space in a small car park, she was turning in the wrong direction. She was very young and likely hadn't been driving long.

I used to drive a flat bed lorry. Got used to gazing straight past the 'right hand down left hand down' merchants.

Of god, ShowOfHands ‘Clear left’ is something I do to DH, it’s so automatic after driving on blues.

No one ever offered me help.. I do drive a tiny car though. I was once asked by an elderly lady to help see her out as she could not see over the bonnet

Blobbyweeble I think it's Pavlovian but it pushes every button I have. DH looks hurt that I don't want his help. I sometimes feel I should let him but I fear I'm going to deliberately drive into a tree through sheer rage if he does it one more time.

I haven't seen this but can well imagine it happening. It's kind of like mansplaining but with hand signals.

I once squeezed into a very small space by parallel parking it only took me a moment and a couple of attempts to get in. It was right next to a load of builders watching me out the window. When I finished I realised they were all cheering me on and clapping. Not in a jeery kind of way, in a genuine I can't believe you got in that gap kind of way. I gave them a wave and had a giggle to myself.

I have had this happen years ago I seem to remember, and my dad used to be terrible for it as well "Left Hand Down!!!".

Prob depends where you live if it's somewhere less busy where nice gents have the time to stop and assist maidens in distress, or if it's busy and everyone is rushing aroung ignoring each other unless it's an emergency (I live on edge of london so is latter).

Also I think lots of men don't do this sort of thing any more as they are worried about being seen as sexist.

Which, in this case, it is, so that's a win

never happened to me nor have i ever witnessed

Perhaps they're all Mumsnetters and have read too many P&C parking space threads - thus leading them to believe none of us can park without enough room to plonk a tank in it

I'd be half inclined to tell them not to try and help because the last person who tried got run over.

I sat and watched a woman try to reverse into a parking space for 10 minutes yesterday and I’m not exaggerating either. She needed the help the man offered her. Stalled 7 times as well. I’m amazed she passed her test tbh

In 30+ years of driving I've never had a man or a woman 'help' me park. That said my current car has a reversing camera and I love it.

I have had this more than once OP! I also reverse into my drive from a main road daily. But the suggestion that I can't manoeuvre my own car is very annoying!

Oh god, another form of Mansplaining , I don't drive, so I have never had that experience, but I am learning again, so you never know once I pass, random men might pop out .

I have never had anyone try to help me park. I also suspect that you probably aren’t as good at parking as you think. No one has the time to gesticulate to me when I am parking!

At work there is some segregation of parking according to seniority and one car park has a lot of big and very expensive cars and 4wd. I have noticed a definite subset of mainly late middle aged men with the biggest cars who not only struggle to park them but also struggle to drive them around the tiny car park. I’m always tempted to offer to help. Might not be able to afford an expensive car but at least I’m not afraid to turn the wheel. It never fails to brighten my day!

Oh god this gets my back up!

I once had a man ask me if I needed help getting plants from B&Q into my boot. One was a small tree, granted, but still! My response was probably slightly harsher than it should have been.

I also had a row in a posh cafe where waiters carry your tray to your table (no I don't know why either ). I told him I could manage about 3 times and we ended up having a tug of war with the tray, with him looking confused and repeating "but it's my job" .

I recently scared one of my staff at work by growling at her when changing a lightbulb (one of those flat, round ones in a bathroom that are wired into the bloody ceiling) and she asked if she should "get a man". Coincidentally, "I'm not assuming your gender, but..." is a phrase I've starting hearing a lot at work

This used to happen to me all the time when I was in my 20s and 30s. I'm an excellent parker, as well - much better than DH. On one memorable day, a man actually leaned into the car and grabbed the steering wheel, thinking he was helping!

I've been driving for over 40 years and I've never had a man offer to help me park. Bastards.