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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for thinking I should say no to my neighbours putting a skip on my garden again?

215 replies

Gingernutsandtea · 17/04/2018 11:02

My neighbour asked me a few months ago if she and her DH could use my driveway to put a large skip on, so that they wouldn't have to apply for a skip permit and save money.
I don't use the drive and, as I felt like I was put on the spot and also because I try to be neighbourly, I agreed.
The lady said it'd only be there for about 5 days, and said that once they'd put their rubbish in I could feel free to put anything I wanted to get rid of if there was room.

Her DH filled the skip and put a cover over, held down by slabs, I'm assuming in order to prevent anyone else's rubbish going in. Fair enough, it was their skip after all.

The skip was removed and I was left feeling a bit narked that it was left to me to clear small bits of wood/rubbish etc that had been left on my garden. Furthermore, neither of the couple have since thanked me for allowing the use of my drive (although the wife did thank me when I initially agreed to the skip).

Now the lady is talking about having to get another skip soon after they have a kitchen and bathroom refit. I'm expecting to be asked again for the use of my driveway, but I anticipate I won't hardly get a thank you or even a bottle of wine as a thank you gesture , and I'll again be left to clear any mess left behind. I wouldn't mind so much if I felt my favour was appreciated.

AIBU to say no? How can I get out of it?

To add, the neighbours in question have never once done me any favours, in fact the DH tried to rip me off years back by trying to overcharge me for something. Nothing major, but won't go into it as it may out me! ....

OP posts:
fuzzywuzzy · 17/04/2018 11:04

Nope I’d refuse, I wouldn’t risk having my property damaged and they sound rude and ungrateful.

Jon66 · 17/04/2018 11:05

Just say no, you may have visitors needing to park.

frazmum · 17/04/2018 11:05

Their skip, their problem. They didn’t even thank you - that’s really rude.

Just say No. And put something on the driveway in case they go ahead anyway. Sound like CFN.

BadLad · 17/04/2018 11:06

AIBU to say no? How can I get out of it?

You: No, this time you can't.
Them: (some attempt to persuade you)
You: No, and that's final.

TERFragetteCity · 17/04/2018 11:06

'Hi.
No, last time I was left to tidy up the mess and I didn't even get a thank you afterwards so no.'

ChardonnaysPrettySister · 17/04/2018 11:06

You can say no.

It’s your drive.

Catspaws · 17/04/2018 11:07

Say no. Pretend you're worried about your home insurance or guest parking or something. They sound like CFs!

Singlebutmarried · 17/04/2018 11:07

It depends, will it affect the relationship with your neighbours if you refuse?

If/when they ask again you could make it clear that they need to make sure your drove is put back to ‘as was’ and they are responsible for any additional litter.

Or....say no to the skip but they can park their car on your drove for the duration of the skip being there so they get all the shite on their land.

WorraLiberty · 17/04/2018 11:07

You were actually thanked though?

Personally I'd let them do it but point out that last time I was left to clean up, so they need to make sure once it's collected, they do the cleaning up.

YANBU to say no, if you don't want another skip but I guess you'll have to be honest about why.

Tiredtomybones · 17/04/2018 11:07

Just say no. You don't need to justify it to them. If they push the issue, just explain that you didn't appreciate being expected to clear up after them last time. Do they have to pay for a permit to put it on the road? If so you could always say they'd have to pay you more than that as ground rent! Yanbu.

ShotsFired · 17/04/2018 11:07

....or.... Don't say anything, wait for them to take the piss and put the skip on anyway, then immediately fill it to the brim with everything you have been hoarding for this opportunity! Grin

Regingaphalange · 17/04/2018 11:08

You can say no, it's your driveway.

I'd probably let them use it if the driveway wasnt used and ask them to tidy up their mess left over

Glumglowworm · 17/04/2018 11:09

YANBU

just say no it’s not convenient this time

Don’t get drawn into discussion of the mess last time etc as they’ll just promise to clear up this time (and then not bother). If you give “excuses” it encourages CFNs to come up with solutions, just say no.

AnneLovesGilbert · 17/04/2018 11:09

Just say no. Cheeky sods. They have no rights to your property and they’ve never done anything to deserve your goodwill.

bluebell34567 · 17/04/2018 11:10

can you put something there to prevent them to ask again?

JustGettingStarted · 17/04/2018 11:11

They may not ask at all. You may just come home to find a skip, because you agreed to it last time.

I don't know how skips can be removed. Police won't do anything.

Frustratedboarder · 17/04/2018 11:12

I would just hum and har a bit as if weighing it up and then say as others have said - yes, but Only on the understanding that they Do let you use it (point out husband's covering it last time so you couldn't), they Definitely clear the mess afterwards, and that they buy you a bottle of wine as a sign of their appreciation!

I'm a bit of a cheeky fucker myself tho and love a bottle of vino

MumW · 17/04/2018 11:18

A building project is not the same, it's going to be a lot more inconvenient. I'm sure you don't want a succession of builders on your land.

I'd say something along the lines that last time was a one off gesture of neighbourliness and you didn't mind helping out for a couple of days but a whole building project is out of the question.

Do you think they are cheeky enough just to put it on your drive without asking?

maras2 · 17/04/2018 11:19

Just say 'no' or see you back here soon with another CFN's thread. Smile
Can't believe that they didn't clear up after the skip was removed Shock

Shesellsseashellsontheseashore · 17/04/2018 11:19

I also think you may find it on your drive one day without them asking this time.

If asked I would also say that it's not convenient. It's not like they haven't got somewhere else to place it. They could pay for the permit or shock horror use their own drive and park somewhere else! Not your problem this time. They weren't appreciative enough last time so they lose the chance to benefit from your good nature this time.

TimeIhadaNameChange · 17/04/2018 11:21

I'd take the coward's way out and ask a friend with a 'spare' car to park it on their drive for the duration.

qwertyuiopy · 17/04/2018 11:21

Just tell them last time it made a lot of mess and no one came to clear it up, so no.

lettuceWrap · 17/04/2018 11:22

They are CF! Any reasonable person would have carefully swept up any debris the day the skip was removed, and presented you with a bottle of wine as big thank you for doing them a favour.

I suspect you are going to come home to find a skip on your drive if the wife has been dropping hints, they sound like “give and inch, take a mile” types.

bluebell34567 · 17/04/2018 11:23

saying no to them may make them retaliate in other ways, they don't sound very nice.

MaggieFS · 17/04/2018 11:23

I was going to say say no because of the mess last time but agree with pp they'll probably just say they'll clear it up. So I think you just have to say no, sorry not convenient this time. It does sound like a lot more work.