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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for thinking I should say no to my neighbours putting a skip on my garden again?

215 replies

Gingernutsandtea · 17/04/2018 11:02

My neighbour asked me a few months ago if she and her DH could use my driveway to put a large skip on, so that they wouldn't have to apply for a skip permit and save money.
I don't use the drive and, as I felt like I was put on the spot and also because I try to be neighbourly, I agreed.
The lady said it'd only be there for about 5 days, and said that once they'd put their rubbish in I could feel free to put anything I wanted to get rid of if there was room.

Her DH filled the skip and put a cover over, held down by slabs, I'm assuming in order to prevent anyone else's rubbish going in. Fair enough, it was their skip after all.

The skip was removed and I was left feeling a bit narked that it was left to me to clear small bits of wood/rubbish etc that had been left on my garden. Furthermore, neither of the couple have since thanked me for allowing the use of my drive (although the wife did thank me when I initially agreed to the skip).

Now the lady is talking about having to get another skip soon after they have a kitchen and bathroom refit. I'm expecting to be asked again for the use of my driveway, but I anticipate I won't hardly get a thank you or even a bottle of wine as a thank you gesture , and I'll again be left to clear any mess left behind. I wouldn't mind so much if I felt my favour was appreciated.

AIBU to say no? How can I get out of it?

To add, the neighbours in question have never once done me any favours, in fact the DH tried to rip me off years back by trying to overcharge me for something. Nothing major, but won't go into it as it may out me! ....

OP posts:
AsAProfessionalPenis · 18/04/2018 18:36

I don't think you should offer any excuses like them not clearing up. They will just say they will do it this time
Just say it's not convenient

Dalamane · 18/04/2018 18:44

If she asks just say it caused enough disturbance last time and it's not something you want to go through again. Can just imagine being in the house and stuff getting thrown in a skip all day long outside 'your' house.

They're relying on your good nature - tell em to f off

BettyPitts · 18/04/2018 18:44

"Oh god no, definitely not having another skip. Took me ages to clean up all the mess after the last one!"

DGRossetti · 18/04/2018 18:45

You could simply say no, but I prefer the suggestions which explain that it’s because they didn’t clear up their own mess and hardly thanked you.

If you start to try and justify, they'll magic your concerns away making you feel the unreasonable one. CF (and abusive) rule 101.

Once again .. No.is a complete sentence.

Tinkobell · 18/04/2018 18:53

Say sorry can't do it this time....a friend had one and the skip was so heavy it caused damage to her driveway....this is really true - skips weigh many tonnes and so do the pick up trucks that deliver & collect ...I know someone whose drive was left with big indents and they had to pursue the skip company for repairs. Total nightmare. Don't do it.

icelollycraving · 18/04/2018 18:58

Well it sounds like you have got a bit of gumption about it now. Do you normally have a chat with her? I’d be telling them before it arrives that it’s not going on your drive this time.
I suspect what will happen is the builder will arrange it, cfs will tell them you have agreed and you’ll arrive to a skip on your drive, Then you’ll have to phone the skip company, they won’t collect it for a week and it’ll be filled up anyway.
Get in first and tell them.

Findingdotty · 18/04/2018 19:02

Brazen it out yourself. Be honest and say actually it was inconvenient, you had to clean up and actually say I expected a bottle of wine and a box of chocolates at least. If they apologise and promise such things, if you don’t mind the inconvenience then do it. If not say no.
Or charge them in advance, half the price of a skip permit?

Enthymeme · 18/04/2018 19:14

You were very generous. Using your driveway for a skip for 5 days is a big thing and as you say it saved them money. They really should have shown their gratitude in some tangible way and checked with you that everything had been satisfactory. That they didn’t says a lot about them. Because of this I would be inclined to say “No. It doesn’t suit.”

muminthemaking · 18/04/2018 19:49

Your neighbours are very CF Shock

I would do what's already been suggested: join a driveway rental website, even if there's little chance of anyone renting it, and put a sign up on the driveway advertising it. That way if they just dump their skip there unannounced you can charge them.

And get a hedge to stop them walking through your garden!

Icanttakemuchmore · 18/04/2018 19:57

I'd put a polite note in their door before they even ask, just to let them know that your driveway isn't to be used for their skip.

pollymere · 18/04/2018 20:18

I'm really sorry but last time turned out to be inconvenient for me so I don't feel able to offer again. End of.

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 20:25

Enthymeme, thank you. I thought I was being generous too and I agree it does say a lot about them that they've not shown any appreciation, they're aresholes users.

Ican'ttakemuchmore, that's another good idea, the only thing is, if I do that I imagine they'll tell me that they were never going to ask or expect me to put another skip there. Then they'd make it seem as if I was 'jumping the gun/being awkward' I imagine.

I've actually got go the point where I'm not bothered if I come home to find a skip on my drive so I can then have the satisfaction of telling them in no uncertain terms that they're cheeky using bastards if I suddenly find a skip on my drive, then I'll immediately contact the skip company and try to get it removed asap. In the meantime I shall forbid them to set one foot on my property so that they can't fill the skip and I can fill it with any crap I have to prevent them from filling it. If they ignore me, well I consider that to be trespassing.
As I said previously, fuck em!

OP posts:
DuckbilledSplatterPuff · 18/04/2018 20:35

Does she think that having mentioned it, you've agreed, even tho she hasn't and that everytime they want a skip they can go ahead and use your drive?
The average cost for a skip is £30 although it can vary from council and size skipandbin.com/faq/skip-permits/ - it's hardly a massive cost in the scheme of things.

  1. they said you could use it when they'd finished and then they put slabs on it so you couldn't
  2. they didn't clear up
  3. they didnt seem very grateful. A kitchen and a bathroom refit is a MUCH bigger project. I'd say no for all these reasons.
Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 20:39

Duck, no I didn't give her any reason to believe that my drive could be used whenever they want it.
She just asked to put that particular skip there.

OP posts:
Bunnyfuller · 18/04/2018 20:52

Can I ask you to let them put it there then give us staged updates on getting it moved (with diagrams). We all love a CFN thread. Do it for the children.

thenovice · 18/04/2018 20:53

You: "You can park your car in my drive and have the skip on yours, but not the other way round".
Them: Why can't we put the skip in your driveway like last time. It would be more convenient for us..."?
You:" I was left to clear up the mess last time, so I am not prepared to allow it again."

Leeds2 · 18/04/2018 20:56

I have no experience of these matters but .......... I don't think you will find it as easy as I think you think it will be to get the skip removed once it is in place. The skip company will promise the earth, whilst doing precisely nothing about it until the job is finished.

Blink1982 · 18/04/2018 20:57

Just say no because it was a right pain to clean up after and you didn't get to put your bits in as promised.

I recently said no to my neighbour because he refuses my once in a blue moon parcels so he's off my favour list. He told the courier it's not my problem... he had a key to my house at the time so it'd have been no hardship.

eloisesparkle · 18/04/2018 21:02

OP I think you'll come home to a skip in your drive.
The skip company will procrastinate, your neighbour's will tell you they assumed they could put it there.
Forewarned is forearmed.
Do you have a car or use of a car you can put in your driveway ?

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 21:09

Bunnyfuller maybe I should do that Grin
thenovice they haven't got a drive, besides, after their piss take the last time, I'll never let them put even a bloody plant pot on my garden from now on.
Leeds2 even if I can't get the skip removed quickly, I'll try and stop them filling it by not allowing them near it. And if they decide to have one turn up whilst I'm working and have already filled it, well I'll have to think of a plan B! maybe I'll drag all their stuff out and dump it on their garden, after all, surely I could class it as my skip if its on my property.

OP posts:
Weezol · 18/04/2018 21:20

Ginger Assuming you're not on a water meter, the quickest way to fill a skip is using a hosepipe .

Essexdarling · 18/04/2018 21:22

Omg I’m dying @weezol Grin that’s a plan n a half!!!

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 21:27

Weezol love it! Grin
I could just imagine news headlines, if I were to jump in and have a swim!

OP posts:
FlippingFoal · 18/04/2018 21:41

Oh do it! Fill it with water and have a red neck hot tub on your drive!!

rumbelina · 18/04/2018 21:47

It’s about £30!!! Do NOT feel awkward about saying no. If they can afford building works they can afford a road permit FFS.