Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU for thinking I should say no to my neighbours putting a skip on my garden again?

215 replies

Gingernutsandtea · 17/04/2018 11:02

My neighbour asked me a few months ago if she and her DH could use my driveway to put a large skip on, so that they wouldn't have to apply for a skip permit and save money.
I don't use the drive and, as I felt like I was put on the spot and also because I try to be neighbourly, I agreed.
The lady said it'd only be there for about 5 days, and said that once they'd put their rubbish in I could feel free to put anything I wanted to get rid of if there was room.

Her DH filled the skip and put a cover over, held down by slabs, I'm assuming in order to prevent anyone else's rubbish going in. Fair enough, it was their skip after all.

The skip was removed and I was left feeling a bit narked that it was left to me to clear small bits of wood/rubbish etc that had been left on my garden. Furthermore, neither of the couple have since thanked me for allowing the use of my drive (although the wife did thank me when I initially agreed to the skip).

Now the lady is talking about having to get another skip soon after they have a kitchen and bathroom refit. I'm expecting to be asked again for the use of my driveway, but I anticipate I won't hardly get a thank you or even a bottle of wine as a thank you gesture , and I'll again be left to clear any mess left behind. I wouldn't mind so much if I felt my favour was appreciated.

AIBU to say no? How can I get out of it?

To add, the neighbours in question have never once done me any favours, in fact the DH tried to rip me off years back by trying to overcharge me for something. Nothing major, but won't go into it as it may out me! ....

OP posts:
Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 17:16

Highhorse1981

There's no way I'm going to do them another favour by agreeing to another skip, even if they do promise to clean up afterwards.
They've shown their level of gratitude the last time and I'm not going to be made a twat of again. They're users plain and simple.

Regarding the fact that builders may cover a skip to prevent anything blowing away, I really don't think this is the case in my situation. I believe it was done to make sure I couldn't put anything in. After all, the husband could've said "Gingernuts, I can help you uncover the skip if you want to cram something in as we're finished with it now" . Did he fuck Instead they both cleared off to work, without saying a word, and the skip was collected late afternoon before they came home.

OP posts:
DGRossetti · 18/04/2018 17:19

and the skip was collected late afternoon before they came home.

If they weren't there when the skip was collected, they ran the risk of someone putting a prohibited item in the skip, and the driver refusing to collect it ...

If I remember correctly, tins of paint was one thing.

Strigiformes · 18/04/2018 17:31

I would definitely put large potted plants in the middle of your drive just to make a point. Something as big and heavy as possible. Otherwise you could come home to a skip on your drive. If they do approach you about permission for the skip, having the plants there is an good excuse. Personally I think that you've been more than kind but their lack of gratitude is a big red flag. Good luck, they sound like nightmare neighbours Gin

momtoboys · 18/04/2018 17:33

Having them put their car in the drive sounds like a great compromise.

Highhorse1981 · 18/04/2018 17:35

My neighbour has just very kindly allowed my builder to park on her driveway for two weeks.

By way of thanks I bought a bottle of wine and £25 marks voichers.

About a year ago I agree that one of her builders could park on my driveway for just over a week. She said “thanks”, and that was that.

I don’t hold it against her for not showing sufficient gratitude.

ajandjjmum · 18/04/2018 17:39

I would highhorse - and I think you too must hope that your gesture has taught her how decent people behave.

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 17:40

Maybe so Rosetti, but they could've still knocked on my door when they'd finished with it (or on the morning before they went to work) and said I could try and put something in if i wanted to, as long as it was covered back over afterwards.

In fact, considering I'd helped them out it wouldn't have killed the husband to help me move the slabs and chuck a few little items in.

OP posts:
Highhorse1981 · 18/04/2018 17:45

said that once they'd put their rubbish in I could feel free to put anything I wanted to get rid of if there was room.

So they offered. Of their own accord.

But you’re posed they didn’t double offer?Confused

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 17:47

I don't hold it against her for not showing sufficient gratitude

Highhorse but in your case, you needed a favour with a skip later on from your neighbour too. My neighbours have never once helped me out and give the impression that they wouldn't want to.

Atleast you got a thank you! and I imagine you weren't left to clear up your neighbour's mess either.

OP posts:
Highhorse1981 · 18/04/2018 17:49

ajandjjmum

She is a lovely neighbour!
She said thanks.

Highhorse1981 · 18/04/2018 17:50

I didn’t know that at the time OP. It was over a year ago.

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 17:51

Just seen your last post Highhorse

The wife offered to let me put things in before I agreed to them putting the skip on my garden.
After I said yes it wasn't mentioned again. I also was told it'd be there for about 5 days, but it was collected early without me knowing whether they'd finished with it or not.

OP posts:
Highhorse1981 · 18/04/2018 17:51

although the wife did thank me when I initially agreed to the skip).

You got one too

Knittedfairies · 18/04/2018 17:57

You were ‘lucky’ the skip was collected relatively quickly once it had been filled; we had one on the drive (our skip!) that wasn’t collected for almost a week because the skip company ‘didn’t need it yet’.

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 17:59

Highhorse, the wife said a quick thanks yes, but her DH never said a word. Even when I saw him outside as he trundled back and forth with their rubbish through my garden. I think its rude personally.

To add, you seem to be constantly picking my posts apart. Are you my neighbour? Hmm

OP posts:
Juells · 18/04/2018 17:59

Having them put their car in the drive sounds like a great compromise.

Why does she need to compromise? She doesn't want a skip on her drive, and why should she feel she has to allow them any leeway at all?

What goes around comes around. My sister lived on a small estate, and came home to find her house broken into. She went to next-door neighbour, thinking she'd be invited in to wait for police (she didn't want to go in the house til they'd been) and the neighbour said "Oh that's horrible." and closed the door, leaving her to stand on the pavement while she waited. A few months later the neighbour knocked to say she was going to SA for a month, and would my sister keep an eye on her house and phone police if necessary "because of the recent break-ins in the area, and everyone else is out at work during the day". DS said "Sorry, it doesn't suit." and had a chuckle once she'd closed the door.

Original poster
Gingernutsandtea · 18/04/2018 18:04

I meant to add, in hindsight, I believe the wife probably offered the gesture of allowing me to use it in order to get me to agree to the skip. I really don't think they had any intentions of letting me benefit from it.

OP posts:
Troels · 18/04/2018 18:05

No need to compromise Ginger, they can pay for the skip to go on the road. Why should you have to compromise for them when they have done you no favors. Sounds like a one way sytem they have going there.

Skatingfastonthinice · 18/04/2018 18:11

I do like a decisive OP. Why should you lie and excuse and make up stuff to justify your decision? I like your direct approach.

Scotland32 · 18/04/2018 18:13

You could simply say no, but I prefer the suggestions which explain that it’s because they didn’t clear up their own mess and hardly thanked you. Sometimes rude people lack self awareness so much that they need to be told what makes them rude! Not ideal but sadly that’s the way it is!

hedgebackwards · 18/04/2018 18:15

How about a note through the door?

"Dear CFN, Just to let you know in advance that when you are having your building work done, it will not be convenient for the skip to go on my drive, so it will need to go in the road. Lots of love, Ginger"

Essexdarling · 18/04/2018 18:20

Id say no but in a nice way, as in. Hmm can I think about it? What dates? Oh no I’m going to have visitors that week. You could flat out no it hit might make things abit akward... I have a water meter single male neighbour that knocks to use my £60 a month unlimited water sometimes to wash his 2 lorry’s, I say yes just for an easy life other times I say so sorry I’m busy in the garden today maybe another time... it all depends on how long you want this to go on for, yes it’s handy to have accommodating neighbours when it comes to workmen and planning permission, then there are neighbours that downright take the piss out of you!

ORIam · 18/04/2018 18:25

You really don't have to offer any sort of explanation, 'i don't want to' is sufficient. It's not like you have good neighbourly relations anyway by the sound of things. Fwiw I looked after a neighbours child one day during the holidays as their childcare fell through at the last minute. She turned up to collect her child with a bottle of wine and a huge bouquet of flowers, now that is a neighbour I'll be happy to do favours for again i was actually a bit overwhelmed as no-one ever buys me flowers.

ChangoMutney · 18/04/2018 18:30

I'd simply say "No, not again I'm afraid I regretted it last time". That should be enough, but if she pushes you further just keep saying things like , it doesn't work for me or no need to go into detail I just don't want to.

Sparklyglitter · 18/04/2018 18:35

That does sound tricky, but just say you were really glad you could help them last time but unfortunately you can’t this time and make an excuse to make a quick exit! Xx

Swipe left for the next trending thread