AIBU to not want to work that hard

[Greentomato82]

Not about SAHM / WOHM but about work generally, men and women alike, DC or no DC. Reading a lot of threads on here people often say they work mainly because they 'want' to work and that it's an important part of their identity etc. I know that some jobs are a real vocation, and obviously we all need money, but surely lots of jobs are a bit meh really and with a lottery win most of us would give it up or at least treat it as more of a hobby? I just seem to hear this more and more, lots about career building and ambition. Frankly I am not going to change the word any time soon and that suits me just fine. I want to rebel a bit and enjoy life. We generally work at least 9-5, 5 days a week for decades to pay the mortgage and bills because that's what we're supposed to do. Those at the top get richer and I can't help but feel like we're gradually being coaxed into a trap of believing our work is more important than it is to justify spending so much time there. I don't like that schools are focused on creating a 'productive' workforce of tomorrow, or that I'm viewed as a unit of productivity and the obsession with GDP. We're not ants surely? Am I the only grumpy one that wants to go off grid and hibernate from all the busy productive people. I'm not lazy but I just don't get it. AIBU?

Ahh, someone who has put my whinging mind to rest with a simple, well thought out post detailing exactly what it is about life that is fucking me off right now. Thanks OP- YANBU

Nope am with you when younger bought into myth work hard careers etc then realise you kill yourself iff pay bills mortgage majority of life then you pop your clogs. These days I work because I have to and I would quit tomorrow or reduce hours as realise life is short and you need to embrace it whilst you can

I totally agree. I always hated full time work, thankfully work part-time now. We are treated as numbers, even more so these days. As a pp said units of productivity.

No-one lies in their deathbed and thinks " I wish I had spent more time in the office" if you don't enjoy your job, change it.
I a civil servant. There are so many contracted out services that it's impossible to get anything done to make a difference. My retirement will make no impact on the provision of services whatsoever. So I am going. Early. And I can't fucking wait!

I agree with op. Working hours have become ridiculous I worked my contracted hours of 9-5 today and felt bad for leaving on time! I don’t know who we think we are working for. To line the pockets of others. When you think that the difference between the top earners in big companies and the average worker is enormous.
Also the cost of living is higher, most younger people won’t even be able to own their own property, I wonder where the aspiration is for younger people.
What really matters to me is doing my best at work but staying healthy as in not over stressed or exhausted so that I have time to enjoy my kids and myself.

This buys into the insidious notion that less is more, don’t knock yourself out
Firmly propped up by empty platitudes and greeting card sentimentality
Let’s see has anyone said no one lies in their death bed wishing...
fetishising the notion giving up work and becoming fulfilled,& rounded
Working is demonised as a vapid activity only to be undertaken by the wage slave

This buys into the insidious notion that less is more, don’t knock yourself out
Firmly propped up by empty platitudes and greeting card sentimentality
Let’s see has anyone said no one lies in their death bed wishing...
fetishising the notion giving up work and becoming fulfilled,& rounded
Working is demonised as a vapid activity only to be undertaken by the wage slave

It might be because I'm tired but I could not make sense of this at all

Thread got me thinking about what I'd do workwise if I won the lottery - I think I'd want to do exactly what I do now, but offer my services for free to charities or non profit organisations. Selfishly I'd probably also see if the companies I'd most like to work for would take me on for free to get experience of working in those organisations.

Made me realise just how privileged I am to have a career where I'd want to carry on doing exactly what I'm doing.

That or go back and study something completely different perhaps? I was bored shitless when I wasn't able to work for health reasons, so the though of just not working full stop makes my teeth itch!

You don’t understand so you simply c&p as if that'll illuminate further?ok..

IMHO, society has been insidiously manipulated over the decades to better suit those focused on maximising profit and cutting costs. The majority of workers are caught in a state of conscious suspension and don't even realise it's happening. It's like women's clothes sizing. I still have a suitcase of size 10 clothing from 30 years ago in my loft, and I'd defy any present day size 10 to fit into them.
This extends to most aspects of our lives. After living abroad for a number of years (supporting myself while doing so) I returned in search of a full time job. I quickly got one, but soon found myself in the most stressful role I have ever known (having formerly worked in middle management positions including project work with strict deadlines). And this for little more salary than I had been earning as a junior manager 20 years previously.
My point is, we are being asked to work harder, in more stressful conditions, for less money, and so many people are unaware that things have changed and it wasn't always thus.
At the same time, government spending is being squeezed to the bare bones in the name of austerity, and where did this all start? A banking f**k up followed by the government pouring billions into a rescue mission, and the repercussions are still being felt by the ordinary folks even though it was their taxes which were used to prop up the system.
And yet should the powers that be decide we must go to war, suddenly so many billions become magically available. Isn't that strange? There's no money available to help people live decent lives, yet limitless funds to end lives.
So I do feel that so many have been brainwashed into believing they are having a real career in an organisation that values them when all they are really are cogs in someone's very big and opulent clock.
I didn't stay in that job any longer than I needed to. I became self employed and yes, I work more hours but to a large extent I work in a way that suits my preferred lifestyle, I can enjoy my home and spend the majority of every day with those I care about. Plus I truly believe I am doing something which will, in a small way, improve the lives of others in the future, and that is worth more to me than any job title, bonus, six figure salary or the need to feel important and powerful.

I also feel like we all work too much. I am 'in between' jobs at the moment and take my DD to school and pick her up, and we are both so much closer and happier. It's lovely really, and I will really miss it when I go back to work. I will be working for future stability and a secure retirement, but I wish I could afford to just do 5 mornings a week.

My point is, we are being asked to work harder, in more stressful conditions, for less money, and so many people are unaware that things have changed and it wasn't always thus

I love my job, and would do it if I won the lottery, but this is the absolute truth of what has happened. My core workload and targets are almost double what they were 7 years ago, but my pay has only gone up 1% a year, if that. Once I realised that my employer simply didn't care about me as a person, it changed the way I work. I now focus on the core stuff and do very little round the edges.

It's perfectly possible to really enjoy your job but not enjoy being shafted by your employer. Lots of people have written as if people who love their jobs are ignorant of this fact!

It's all relative, I'm in between jobs at the mo and bored stiff, but then I enjoy my line of work and it gives my life purpose. I had my kid young and she's flown the nest and I'm single, not a hobby or sociable type of person so without a job I'd be pretty lost. I almost dread retiring and will prob always do some kind of work to keep active and engaged with society. I think it makes a huge difference if you love what you do and are compensated well.
Reminds me of this story paulocoelhoblog.com/2015/09/04/the-fisherman-and-the-businessman/

"No one lies in their deathbed wishing they had spent more days in the office" is a perfect sentence ( not mine) to encourage reflection and evaluation of our time and how we spend it.
It worked for me.

Haven't rtft and sorry if this is a bit of a rant, but when I read threads like this it makes me feel incredibly resentful.

I have to work full time because I get no support whatsoever from anyone else. No maintenance from my ex, no family money, no benefits (apart from CB). I had to remortgage my house to make a divorce payment to my ex-husband and have a big mortgage anyway.

I have to put down a bare minimum of nearly two grand a month before I even get to food or all that jazz. I have to work 60 hours a week and barely see my kid in the week. I don't have a jeffing choice.

And because I have to work so much and so hard, I want to make damn sure I enjoy the work I do. I'd love to do a three-day week and take time to go to the park with my kid etc, but I can't.

I know where some of you are coming from with all this "don't want to live to work" comments and all this stuff about society putting pressure on us to work when we all secretly want to put our feet up and do sod all. But I have to work to live. I have to work ridiculously hard to live or my daughter would have a shit quality of life. So while you all feel really good about your lifestyle decision not to work as hard, spare a thought for the people who don't have that choice.

Rant over.

I think some of you need my morning song, it gets the bile out before you arrive at work

It's also excellent for twerking in the copy room

m.youtube.com/watch?v=6TCAm1NnVRo

I was talking to my mum about this thread, she reminded me of one of the businesses I worked on and totally forgot about...I was pretty sleep deprived then so I guess that's why I forgot.

Someone upthread said "don't moan about having no holidays" I don't do Holidays or stuff, I'm just focused on retiring as early as possible. I'm not big on stuff which really helps.

YANBU. It doesn't get you anywhere really, unless you're given help from family to buy a house and/or your partner earns well.

You're stuck making the rich richer at work (shareholders) and at home (landlord). Couldn't be more destructive for society, or you.

No social mobility = no point busting a gut. The new group to find this out are graduates, which isn't so funny if you're 80k in debt too.

Pinot - exactly. I clicked on the link to this thread, sighed and thought: 'Great, another thread by women whose lives are supported and underwritten by men.' The usual MN trope about 'money not being everything' and 'work being overrated' by those who have a DH out making the money and doing the overrated work.

BTW there is a lot of anarchist and other writings about this subject which articulate the issue well.

"Haven't rtft..."

So you can't be arsed to read the thread, but you're happy to come and insult ALL the people on the thread. If you read it you'll see that plenty of us HAVE to work as well. I have to work full time, no choice, I just don't think it's a good thing.

Pinot if you read the full thread I think most of us agree with you.

A few decades ago, with such rapid technological advancements, it was totally assumed that this would set us free to live meaningful, leisurely lives while the boring mundane jobs were done by robots. And this could indeed be possible if those with the wealth were willing to make it happen.

As the late, great Stephen Hawking said:
"If machines produce everything we need, the outcome will depend on how things are distributed. Everyone can enjoy a life of luxurious leisure if the machine-produced wealth is shared, or most people can end up miserably poor if the machine-owners successfully lobby against wealth redistribution. So far, the trend seems to be toward the second option, with technology driving ever-increasing inequality."

Sorry if someone has already posted a similar response - haven't got time to read the whole thread because I'm tired after a working all day and on my way to bed!

Oh and this is an amazing quote from R. Buckminster Fuller (again, sorry if someone has already posted it):

“We should do away with the absolutely specious notion that everybody has to earn a living. It is a fact today that one in ten thousand of us can make a technological breakthrough capable of supporting all the rest. The youth of today are absolutely right in recognizing this nonsense of earning a living. We keep inventing jobs because of this false idea that everybody has to be employed at some kind of drudgery because, according to Malthusian Darwinian theory he must justify his right to exist. So we have inspectors of inspectors and people making instruments for inspectors to inspect inspectors. The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living.”

"The true business of people should be to go back to school and think about whatever it was they were thinking about before somebody came along and told them they had to earn a living."

I love that idea Lilly

But that is just one person's opinion.

PinotMwah I think the majority of people on here have the same view as you and really share your resentment. I'm knackered at the moment so can't explain it very well, but I'm frustrated at a system which makes us all work so hard when the majority of us wouldn't really choose that, often in jobs which don't really contribute much, for incomes that just keep our heads above water paying mortgages etc. I'm even more frustrated that it feels like if you criticise that status quo you're just marked out as lazy. I'm sorry, I know I haven't put it very well there.

windygallows you're making a real assumption about everyone who has contributed to this thread. From the start I was talking about the role of work for men and women, not just women or SAHM's, and the pressures faced by men too.