AIBU to not want to work that hard

[Greentomato82]

Not about SAHM / WOHM but about work generally, men and women alike, DC or no DC. Reading a lot of threads on here people often say they work mainly because they 'want' to work and that it's an important part of their identity etc. I know that some jobs are a real vocation, and obviously we all need money, but surely lots of jobs are a bit meh really and with a lottery win most of us would give it up or at least treat it as more of a hobby? I just seem to hear this more and more, lots about career building and ambition. Frankly I am not going to change the word any time soon and that suits me just fine. I want to rebel a bit and enjoy life. We generally work at least 9-5, 5 days a week for decades to pay the mortgage and bills because that's what we're supposed to do. Those at the top get richer and I can't help but feel like we're gradually being coaxed into a trap of believing our work is more important than it is to justify spending so much time there. I don't like that schools are focused on creating a 'productive' workforce of tomorrow, or that I'm viewed as a unit of productivity and the obsession with GDP. We're not ants surely? Am I the only grumpy one that wants to go off grid and hibernate from all the busy productive people. I'm not lazy but I just don't get it. AIBU?

I’d never give up work if I won the lottery. It’s not good for your mental health. People who work longer are less likely to have dementia and other age related issues. I like working because it gives me a purpose in addition to my. When my daughter leaves home I can’t just mope around - a job now gives me this opportunity.
Personally, I also work hard to show my daughter that you can be an awesome single parent to a disabled child and have a job you love at the same time.

Yep. Fully Automated Luxury Communism can't happen fast enough imo. Also, Google 'Alan Watts: music and life' its a lovely little animation. Makes me weep every time.

OP To an extent I agree with you and I think that the issue is that the stuff about the joy and value of hard work is always written from the perspective of the people who do have interesting, challenging careers, so it's somewhat blinkered.

That said, my perspective on BUI is that we're all imagining a world where we're all wandering around being really creative and traveling and doing yoga and social work but what will actually probably happen is that we'll (in general as a society) go into a death spiral of anti-social behaviour and boredom. It also won't be enough to fund a "fun" lifestyle so we won't be doing that yoga on a tropical beach.

Again: it's not the idea of completing necessary tasks or expending effort that people object to. It's the idea of being compelled to complete tasks and expend effort in ways which either add nothing to the world, or do active harm - or starve, simply because those who have managed to seize the majority of the resources insist that others expend effort and complete tasks to enrich those who have managed to seize the resources even further.

And many of the people pointing out what bullshit this worship of the 'work ethic' is are those who do have to spend the majority of their time doing pointless, shitty, underpaid jobs simply to keep themselves and their children fed and housed.

And, in terms of where we actually are now (and in yet another attempt to administer a metaphorical kick up the twinkle to all those talking about hard work and savings as though the relation of housing costs to wages are the same as they were 20/30/40 years ago), have a read of this

Sarah wouldn't it be better to give up your job if you won the lottery, so someone else could have it? Then you could work for charitable causes.

YANBU. You’re right on x

I started as a civil servant at 18, when I started everything was done on paper, but if you started working a case you did everything, if Mr Smith rang up he spoke to the person who had sent him a letter, who then did everything from start to finish, Mr Smith got a good service & he knew who had helped him & who to speak to if he needed more information or help.

Staff felt valued & cared about what they were doing

Thirty years later most of the job is done by computer & the only work done manually is when something is rejected by the computer, instead of Mr Smith's letter being dealt with in a local office who know what they are talking about, it is swallowed into a system where it could be dealt with 300 miles away from the old local office by someone who has no local knowledge of why the letter has needed to be sent, that person will only do a step of the process before passing the job via the system to another minion who does a bit more then passes it on again. If Mr Smith rings up to ask for progress on his letter he has to spend up to an hour on the phone before he gets to speak to a human being only to be told that they are only a call centre & will pass a message through "the system" . Mr Smith doesn't feel he gets a good service as his enquiry isn't dealt with at point of contact & he doesn't know who to speak to to find out.

Staff don't feel valued & end up not caring about what they are doing. There are targets to be met & whiteboards with figures on in the office showing what has been done & what needs to be done, figures are taken hourly to monitor output & daily meetings with managers are held to discuss why targets aren't being met, managers then go to meetings with their managers to discuss the previous meetings with staff.

Stress levels in jobs now are greatly increased from what they were thirty years ago, staff don't feel they are doing a good job & can't do anything about it, staff are having increased sick leave, suffering from stress related illnesses & poor mental health, staff are leaving, retiring on health grounds or taking early retirement just to get out.

One thing hasn't changed, Mr Smith still wants an answer to his letter.

That's one of the main reasons why more working age people are turning away from working 9-5 till they are retirement age, how work has changed over the last 30 years, they don't feel valued or cared about, if you have worked hard all week but can honestly say that your efforts have been appreciated & have made a difference then that helps you feel that your time hasn't been wasted, it's not just about your wage at the end of the month.

A manager from where I worked decided she had had enough of her job, she took early retirement & to supplement her works pension works at a supermarket in a click & collect cabin for online shopping on minimum wage, she sees regular customers & when they thank her for helping them with their shopping says she feels more valued & appreciated than she ever felt in her career as a civil servant & actually looks forward to going to work.

It's not about what you do or what you earn it's about feeling that your time isn't wasted & what you do feels worthwhile & valued.

I keep on typing in paragraphs & it all comes out in one lump 😡

nat really interesting post. It seems as though the civil service has changed in the same way teaching has. Before, you were allowed to get on with things, you were trusted. Now it’s just about targets and testing and submitting acres of paperwork.

ThisIsTheFirstStep I worked in the civil service for 27 years & yes it changed beyond all recognition, when I started it was all local offices that did everything, our branch had over a thousand employees in my city, now there are less than a hundred & by 2020 there won't be any. Everything is done in what can only be described as processing factories, probably only around 10 in the whole country, everything is counted & measured, more time is spent quantifying than actually getting the job done, a letter could be typed in an office in Southampton but then gets sent to Glasgow to go in an envelope & be posted. I was lucky I got early retirement & escaped eight years ago thank goodness 😀

ajas I don't understand why someone 'who wins the lottery' should give up work. My father started his own business. It was successful. He took over other family businesses and ran those. He doesn't need the money and doesn't take an income per se. The income he would take goes out as a dividend which goes into a charitable trust. Working though has really helped him stay sane. He loves working with the animals (horses) and interacting with people. I would never expect anyone who won the lottery to quit their job.

What is funny is the number of people in his housing authority who have no idea that the slow 70 year old man sweeping their steps is the owner. He doesn't need to do this but taking pride in the property, he sees other sweep their common areas and take pride in their homes by putting down a nice doormat or hanging window baskets etc. However he doesn't see his housing authority as a business but as him giving back.

I really do envy all those who dont need to work.

However im going back to uni to retrain and im so excited to use my brain again...it's a medical career so will be demanding but rewarding.

I will need to work till im 65 so i might as well do something rewarding.

Having said that since having dd i see work as a means to an end ...i need to provide.

want2 owning your own business and slogging away in a sweaty cubicle to make money for someone else aren’t the same thing at all.

If I could, I’d give up work (teaching) but I’d still work with kids, just on my own terms, not the whims of the government and senior management.

That’s what most people don’t like. Doing stuff they disagree with because someone else thinks it’s a good idea. Owning your own business does away with most of that.

Also i find this thread interesting as a single mum who gets benefit top ups i have been criticised on here for not working as a full time teacher...it is a 60 hour week and was giving me mh problems.

I think most people think we shiukd work less apart from single mums and benefit scroungers like me who should get off their fat lazy arses and get a ft job.

I work as a pt teacher but i cant afford to live so im retraining to do a job i can do ft without a breakdown..

Ive given up on a mortgage which definately takes the pressure off.

mal what job are you training to do?

Radiography...cannot wait!but then i love science and want to help people.

Also pays well...great hourly rate if through an agency and is using state of the art technology...facinating!

I think the worst thing abiut work is the politics...i am happiest with my own company!

Really interesting post OP. I think of it in the same way that extroversion has become The Way To Be, and similarly Career Minded and high salary/power is what success looks like. I'm a happy introvert with a just the right sized social life, and while I'm educated and have become a specialist in my field I have no interest in rising ranks, managing people or earning huge sums at a large organisation.

I am self employed (sole trader) and as i earn a reasonable day rate i take on contracts when i need to, work long and hard to deliver (while also part time parenting a 3yo) and then take a rest for a few weeks before the next contract starts. High intensity fits and bursts of activity then recuperation and 'me time' seems to really suit me and I'm lucky to have found this out not reasonably early (I'm 35). I feel successful as I'm earning, enjoying life and get to spend lots of time with my dd.

Yes my dh works and is paid well, but I'm contributing my fair share. I earn more this way than i did as an employee, and i dont have to manage anyone or deal with office politics. I feel for dh who doesn't get a break and try to use my extra time to get house admin in order and support him as well as getting fit and doing my own things.

I think if i won the lottery I'd keep doing what I'm doing, maybe just buy a bigger house with a proper home office in it and a large garden. My dh would definitely change career I think!

The desire not to work hard, long or much has to go along with the absence of jealousy for the property, possessions, choices and freedom of those who do.

My poor DH was out of the house working for twelve hours a day for decades and had a horrendous commute as well as a very demanding management role. I taught full time for 33 years and brought up two DC virually without help as their DF was always out or exhausted. I was certainly always exhausted.

However, our effforts resulted in our having a lovely house in a very expensive area which we bought cheap and did up slowly as and when we could afford it, private prep education for the children and a holiday with a sea view in another expensive, lovely area. We ‘lived low’ (no meals out, cheap holidays, only essential clothes etc.) and invested in the important things like property and education.

We have found that others treat us now as though we live on inherited riches and are, somehow, ‘lucky’. Even close relatives who chose to go part time when I stayed full time and friends who chose lifestyle over earning themselves are full of envy.

So, if you can stand seeing others have what you don’t without resentment, disengage from striving. Now I am finally retired and my husband enforcedly idle though being made redundant, I am enjoying life immensely. I have to say though, that even not earning, I am active all day.

Sorry, should read ‘holiday home’ Not ‘holiday’. No edit button!

"The true business of people should be to achieve their potential in business or industry and stretch their talents to the limit." (for example)
Why does anyone get a say on what people should do in this way?

Couldn't agree more. Who the he'll decided work was the holy grail? Masters, not slaves.

You get one life, be a smart person and enjoy it.